to have my tampons on display?

[ElleGrace]

Hi there,
This is actually my first post on here (despite me being an avid mumsnetter for the past 5+ years!) so bare with!
Basically, OH and I have recently moved in to a new place together and are having a ridiculous rather silly debate over whether or not it is socially acceptable to have (unused) tampons on display in the bathroom.
To my way of thinking, anyone who enters our home will be perfectly aware that I, a woman, have a menstrual cycle and therefore use some form of feminine product in my bathroom. The only hidden storage we have in the bathroom is on the opposite side of the room to the toilet, which is an inconvenience to get to. Therefore, I have a glass jar of tampons on the shelf right next to the toilet, alongside many other glass jars filled with cotton buds, cotton pads, candles etc. IMO, there is no difference in seeing a tampon in the bathroom than seeing something like a cotton bud.
On the other hand, my OH argues that although people are aware I use tampons, they don't really need to see proof of it. He compared it to having a jar of condoms in the bathroom.
I understand this is a really ridiculous argument, but it really got me thinking as to whether I should really have to hide my feminine products in my own home, or as to whether I'm simply being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.
I'd love to hear your opinions on this trivial matter, and I'd also like to know whether your products are hidden from view too.

Not much to add to this thread except I had never heard the term 'sanpro' before.

Now all I can thinking about is Sons of Anarchy.

Think even.

Haven't got time to read the full thread but I wanted to say that I always keep them (relatively) visible in the bathroom (they're in a Lakeland bag at the side of the loo but you can easily see what's in there). This is because of an incident when I was a teen and used to come on suddenly and quite heavily - I was once at a family friend's house and discovered to my horror that I needed a tampon and hadn't brought any. The relief I felt on noticing several boxes of different sizes on a shelf above the toilet is something I've never forgotten. If my bag of "supplies" can do that for any guests it's worth any discomfort that anyone else feels!

I don't think I have any friends that would have the vapours if they saw a box of tampons on the shelf in the bathroom.

I don't see why this is an issue. Women menstruate. Surely this isn't a big secret? So these people can see the adverts on the television for the pads, but cannot cope with being face to face with a box of tampons? Seriously? Do they cover their eyes in the supermarket? Avert their eyes in Boots?

Just bizarre.

So these people - what people are these alice?

Mine are usually in the pretty box in the drawer, and a handful in a clear perspex lidded jar on a shelf above the loo. Handy, but not in your face. I'm with your DH on this - but I can see you want to keep the glass jars as a set. Can you cut a pretty liner to wrap round the inside of the jar or are you not looking for a solution?

I've never got on with tampons but don't leave period products in the bathroom, only because its just more clutter in our one tiny bathroom, and its a once in a month event for me. I'm the only female in this house and have alwaya had relatively light periods anyway. There have been many times when I've started, meant to buy more towels but its almost finished before I get round to it. I have spent months just using toilet roll.

I have never had a problem explaining to my sons about periods and blood, or kept anything secret.

I wouldn't think anything of seeing tampons at a house and I doubt my husband would give it much thought. If my sons saw them I wouldn't care and I doubt if they would.

I find it interesting that one poster is comparing tampons to herpes medicine and cock rings etc, presumably under the category of 'highly personal effects which should be kept hidden'. Apparently it's hard to shake the concept that periods are either an embarrassing contagious ailment, or an active choice.

Fergodsake: if you insist on menstruating, at least have the decency to pretend it's not happening, so the rest of us can continue the charade.

DS had a box of tampons when he was a Cadet which could be used for fire lighting or wound padding. If they can be put to such manly uses surely they don't need to be kept out of sight ;)

LadylikeCough you have missed the point.

And indeed why should herpes medicine be hidden? I need to take it sometimes and I don't consider that shameful- do you?

On ocassion I have to use a plunger to unblock the toilet.
I choose not to keep the plunger next to the toilet. It is not embarrassing to need a plunger, not contageous, I don't keep up a pretence that my toilet never gets blocked ( the shame if anyone knew)

But like tampons, it's not something I want to lok at every day.

I menstruate only 15% of the time. Menstruation is a part of life but not a particularly enjoyable one. I don't really want to be reminded of my periods for the other 85% of the time when I walk into the bathroom.

And for similar reasons I don't want to see my plunger or my herpes medication ( which I take every few months) every day either.

just store them where you want to store them; my prude mum would always hide them in the bathroom cupboard- a good ten foot shuffle with your knickers round your ankles away from the toilet! no matter how many times we moved them back I even mentioned it to both parents together once but no dice and for those thinking its a one week a month event you can plan for; was very glad our family friend did have them on display when I got a nothing-to-niagara type surprise while babysitting!

Propelusagain: I think comparisons to herpes medicine and toilet plungers miss the point. Within our sex, menstruation is a near-universal experience. Every woman, every month, for most of our lives. As other people have said, the means of dealing with it are as ubiquitous as toilet paper -- so why the nervous squeamishness of seeing unused tampons and pads? Why should it 'remind' you of your period, any more than toilet paper 'reminds' you of shitting? It's just... there.

A plunger is used in exceptional circumstances, when something's gone wrong. If all our toilets blocked for a week each month, every month, it would probably be good to keep plungers on hand.

And keeping medication visible is another issue, because personal illness is a completely individual matter and it's up to you how much detail you want people to know. Ditto about sexual preferences.

Whereas, if you're a woman, everyone knows you have a period. It's not a secret; it's not something that says anything about you, personally. Treating it as a taboo is just one of the remnants of centuries where women were weird, dirty, or Other (you know it can't really be normal, if men don't do it too). I can't stand my period and have no wish to 'celebrate' it, but I don't want to be so embarrassed at its existence that it's overpriced, individually-wrapped little accoutrements have to be squirrelled away in the name of 'discretion' and not scaring the men and children or 'reminding' other women.

Ladylikecough- fantastic posts. It's at the same time fascinating and depressing that this is so ingrained in people's minds. Imagine what it would be like if men menstruated- there'd be bleeding competitions, Tampax would be displayed next to the beer in supermarkets and work life would be organised around the expectation that men would have at least one day off a month.........

If a guest needed some sanpro they could ask and I could provide some.

But it's not always possible to ask in advance, is it?

I'm currently heading into the menopause (a little early, what a pain) and my cycle is currently all over the place. I rarely get a warning and usually the first I'm aware is when I visit the bathroom. So I tend to keep my mooncup on hand at all times, and it's always in it's little pouch in my bag.

In our bathroom, some sanpro is kept in a drawer in a cupboard. I have no problem with it being on display, just that we don't have much room. Besides, the drawer and cupboard are an open wire mesh anyhow. DD knows her friends are invited to use what's there if they are caught short.

DS, aged 11, is aware of sanpro and what it's for. There's no way I'd hide menstruation as if it's a dirty little secret, although I've never had anyone in the bathroom when actually dealing with it.

I have tampons and sanitary towels on display in our main bathroom and in our guest toilet. I've never thought it to be an issue and DH has never raised it as one

What would you think of me, propelsusagain? I've got two plungers next to my upstairs loo?

You exhibitionist sluts who insist on changing your tampons in front of your toddlers, thus scarring them for life with proximity to your filthy vaginal blood, I can beat that. Toddler DD attempted to nick my sanitary towel from my knickers not so long ago. A clean one, fortunately.

My niece (age 4) is always talking about the nappies that her mom wears which turn red when she wees

so why the nervous squeamishness of seeing unused tampons and pads?

jesus on a stick- talk about really missing the point again. I have no fucking "nervous squeamishness" about seeing tampons.

I just don't like clutter. I use toilet cleaner every day and I keep that in the cupboard too.
Does that make by bottle of toilet cleaner (which I use every day)taboo because I shamefully hiding it away?
I think some on this thread are trying to make some kind of political rad/fem point here, suggesting that those of us who keep our tampons out of sight are "purse lipped", squeamish or nervous.

ladylikecough- have to be squirrelled away in the name of 'discretion' and not scaring the men and children or 'reminding' other women.

Again you are so off the mark here.

Sorry for the delay in coming back to you, ElleGrace (I'm the one who was amused because you broke your silence to ask about tampon storage), but does that mean congratulations are in order and that the tampons won't be needed for a while, or do you just really need to know about whether you're reasonable to store them?

Propelusagain, I appreciate you've said multiple times you don't like clutter. But it's so clearly more than aesthetics. You've also repeatedly suggested it's the implication of visible sanpro which bothers or has bothered you:

'I don't really want to be reminded of my periods'

'My mother used to leave used sanitary towels lying around the bathroom, (semi- deliberately, she considerd it part of our "education). I was always disgusted, and would always have to check the toilet before I could let friends use it.'

And you've also compared it to much more individual personal paraphernalia which demonstrates illness, sexual preference, etc:

'So is anything kept private? [...] cock rings, herpes cream, butt plugs, suppositories for piles, facial hair removing cream [...]?'

'Putting tampons, sex toys and spot cream out of sight is part of [creating a welcome environment].'

I have no rad/fem agenda -- but I find it really hard to imagine a guy describing anything equivalent in similar terms. I don't really know what the male example would be. Something that all men do, and has no personal significance or sexual aspect. Needing to shave each day? (and even that's more of a choice than menstruating.)

'My father used to leave his razor lying around the bathroom. I was always disgusted. I don't want to be reminded of my stubble. Putting razors, pornography and penis-enlargers out of sight is part of creating a welcome environment.'

You'd never hear that. But apparently it's okay to talk about tampons in the same way and act like it's 100% about aesthetics.

I keep mine in a little Seagrass jar-shaped basket(?) on the cistern. Not because of DH being anti-menstruation though... it's because the colour of their packaging doesn't go with my bathroom.

Well this thread is a fascinating read. I've read all 17 pages tonight. Who knew it was such an issue of contention!

I grew up being told to hide all evidence of my period in case "your dad sees" and I never understood why. I mean, dad had three daughters and a wife, I think he knew....I keep my pads in the bathroom cupboard because it's a small bathroom and the only shelf has my deodarant and shower stuff on but I do leave the pack on the floor sometimes when I've been too lazy to put it away. I find it really interesting to hear about how we as women are almost conditioned to be embarassed. I work in an all make office, I'm 36 fgs and yet I stuff my pad up my sleeve when I go to the loo in case one of the men SEES. why do I do that!

all male*