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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have my tampons on display?

447 replies

ElleGrace · 20/05/2015 13:45

Hi there,
This is actually my first post on here (despite me being an avid mumsnetter for the past 5+ years!) so bare with!
Basically, OH and I have recently moved in to a new place together and are having a ridiculous rather silly debate over whether or not it is socially acceptable to have (unused) tampons on display in the bathroom.
To my way of thinking, anyone who enters our home will be perfectly aware that I, a woman, have a menstrual cycle and therefore use some form of feminine product in my bathroom. The only hidden storage we have in the bathroom is on the opposite side of the room to the toilet, which is an inconvenience to get to. Therefore, I have a glass jar of tampons on the shelf right next to the toilet, alongside many other glass jars filled with cotton buds, cotton pads, candles etc. IMO, there is no difference in seeing a tampon in the bathroom than seeing something like a cotton bud.
On the other hand, my OH argues that although people are aware I use tampons, they don't really need to see proof of it. He compared it to having a jar of condoms in the bathroom.
I understand this is a really ridiculous argument, but it really got me thinking as to whether I should really have to hide my feminine products in my own home, or as to whether I'm simply being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.
I'd love to hear your opinions on this trivial matter, and I'd also like to know whether your products are hidden from view too.

OP posts:
derxa · 21/05/2015 16:35

Yes we need some idea about what is U behaviour re sanitary ware. Otherwise I won't be able to show my face in polite society again.

Egged · 21/05/2015 16:35

i love this thread. I am going to write a treatise called 'The Public Tampon: Social Anxiety and Aspiration'. It will be the new U/non-U and I will share all royalties with MN Grin.

As the one who was, I think, the first to bring up social class, ideas of 'tidying' for guests and the 'guest experience', I would hazard that, in terms of social class codes as they are currently understood in this country, LikeICan is wrong and that hiding your tampons or decanting them 'discreetly' into frosted glass containers is in fact slightly 'common'. And that the upper-middle and upper-class norm (as well as the WC one) is pretty much what Derxa said earlier, about a lack of anxiety about bodily functions and what kind of domestic interior your visitors are experiencing.

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 16:40

My toddlers have watch me change sanitary towels when they were old enough to walk and follow me into the toilet. They knew all about menstruation from a very early age, so starting periods was no big deal to my own DD.
However I am not a tampon box displayer- and interestingly neither is my DD, she keeps all her supplies neatly organised in a cupboard in her bathroom.

I can't see anything carefee about leaving a tampon box lying out.
Making love naked on a tropical beach while phosphorescent water laps your thighs is carefree- or swimming with baby elephants is carefree.

But leaving a tampon box on a window ledge? Banal in the extreme.

Egged · 21/05/2015 16:42

X-post.

Derxa, you're definitely U on tampons.

Footle, be off with you. Next thing you'll be telling me you say 'perfume' rather than 'scent'. The idea. Grin

motherinferior · 21/05/2015 16:43

Phone for the tampons, Norman, Ican is a little unnerved?

derxa · 21/05/2015 16:57

Well done Egged. Looking forward to your treatise.
For your information, I am actually as common as muck. Are you going to start your research with a questionnaire which includes socio-economic bands/ brands of tampons/house decor preferences? What is your starting point?

exaltedwombat · 21/05/2015 18:39

I think leaving about half-an-inch protruding makes an interesting fashion statement.... Oh, sorry, I see what you mean :-)

hangoversally · 21/05/2015 18:54

I find the idea of a child watching you change your tampon actually disgusting.

I felt more than prepared when I started and we talked about it etc So happy I didn't grow up with that memory of my mother.

I've managed to raise my daughter for 5 years without her watching me pull out my tampon or taking a dump in front of her.

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 18:56

Who has said they change their tampons in front of a child?

5madthings · 21/05/2015 19:26

Mine live in the windowsill by the toilet, as that's where is in convenient reach, sometimes they go in the bathroom cupboard. It's not something I give much thought to.

They tend to get moved when I do a big bathroom clean, it gets a wipe around every day but a big clean once a week? And then I clear all surfaces to give a good clean. I guess our house is a bit cluttered, it depends on how busy I have been tbh, there are seven of us living here, there is often stuff like lego models, homework sheets, random toys or paperwork about on the sideboard, dining room table etc.

At the moment hung up in the living room are smart clothes for the kids as we are getting married next week, and a pile of paperwork relating to ds2 as he has a hospital app tomorrow.

I keep the house clean, but it's rarely immaculate, but it's tidy enough.

Have to say I think I am like cailin my friends will drop by and put the kettle on, they often bring food and pop the oven on, will help clear the table etc. But then I am the same when I visit them. We all have kids so it can end up busy and feeding a small army so we each help out. It's not unknown for my four year old and her friends to get so filthy playing in the garden that I end up chuking them in the bath and dd has had a bath at friends house for the same reason. I love that type of relaxed friendship and am pretty sure none of my friends are bothered by seeing a box of tamper in the windowsill and they have helped themselves if needed.

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2015 19:30

"I find the idea of a child watching you change your tampon actually disgusting"

Ah, interesting Mumsnet synergy (do I mean synergy or syncope? Or something else?) going on here. Does that mean you left your children unattended in public loos with ther door shut while you changed your tampon? Anything could have happened!

5madthings · 21/05/2015 19:34

propel you said you changed sanitary towels in front of your kids, I have done as well. We don't have a lock on our bathroom door, the kids knock as they have got older and I will say wait a minute but when little they would have just followed me in. We are quite relaxed about nudity etc, my elder boys will still come in if I am in the bath, they will sit in the bathroom and chat etc. And though my elder two boys (15 and 12) keep themselves covered now they don't mind seeing me naked.

No idea if my elder kids can remember seeing me change a pad etc, but ds2 can remember bfeeding as he fed till almost four years and ds1 was 11/12 when dd was born and he was at the birth and cut the cord so I doubt he would freak if he could remember seeing me change a pad when he was a toddler, he will happily nip to the shop to but tampax etc if needed.

Egged · 21/05/2015 19:34

Derxa, I will begin with people's position on inherited furniture vs brand-new leather sofas. Grin

I change tampons in front of my three year old. I still have to wipe him after he goes to the loo, so it's not as if we're colleagues or school gate acquaintances.

5madthings · 21/05/2015 19:38

Yep mine have seen me change tampons as toddlers, they seem unharmed by this.

Oh someone mentioned false teeth? My granny always had a glass in the bathroom she put hers in when not wearing them. I found it quite fascinating as a kid, pretty sure the glass was still there last time I visited at easter. Is that not the done thing either, I had better tell my gran...

Elfhame · 21/05/2015 19:45

I leave mine in their original box by the loo for convenience. loo roll is next to the loo for convenience, why not tampons?

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 19:59

5madthings- my DS can remember being b/fed too ( 4 and a half when he stopped)- as can my DD. He is nearly 18 now and has not the slighted embarrasement about the memory nor of seeing women breastfeeding in public.

derxa · 21/05/2015 20:19

Oh ffs That's me out then. I have 5 sofas and none are inherited. One is 28 years and is as old as our marriage. I do have two leather sofas though...how ghastly.

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 20:29

loo roll is next to the loo for convenience, why not tampons?

Because it minimises clutter? I could keep the plunger next to the toilet in case it gets blocked. But that's something I choose not to do either.

5madthings · 21/05/2015 20:32

Yep none of my boys are bothered by bfeeding, they just wouldn't bat an eyelid as they have fed themselves, seen me feed siblings and friends feeding etc.

They know quite a bit about birth etc, I remember when ds1 was five? I was preg with ds3 and at a soft play area they had those big balls, like birth balls. Anyway ds1 saw a preg lady sat on one and he said oh that's like my mummy's birth ball, it's good to sit on to help get the baby in a good position for birth. The lady just laughed and said he was getting a head start for if he ever became a father. Pregnancy, birth and bfeeding are something they have grown up with and I have always just explained in an age appropriate way, ditto periods. It's not something I feel the need to hide.

Equally if people put tampons etc away because they don't like clutter fair enough, I would love my house to be a bit less cluttered sometimes, but it's never so bad that it's nothing I can't sort with a half hour blitz iyswim, I just haven't got round to it this week as have been busy, I will do it over the weekend though as with the wedding next week we have loads of family arriving and my parents are staying over to look after the madthings so dp and I can go away for a few nights after the wedding. I won't be tidying for show though, more to make it easier for my parents when they look after the kids.

hangoversally · 21/05/2015 20:33

How has breastfeeding come into this? When did I ever suggest that an older child should not breastfeed in case they remember and are traumatised.

Hmm
2rebecca · 21/05/2015 20:35

Because there are 3 different boxes. It's just unnecessary clutter, if they were on the cistern I'd just end up knocking them in and my unit tops have essentials like radio and magazines on them. I love my large bathroom units, I keep loads of things in them. I also don't need them every time I go to the loo either.

Floggingmolly · 21/05/2015 20:36

And birth experiences? Confused. My kids know how babies are made. The fact that I put my tampons (and the rest of the bathroom clutter) in a bathroom cabinet has had no bearing on this whatsoever.
Oh, and they were all breastfed too. Again, tampon storage proved to be irrelevant there also. Wtf?

DixieNormas · 21/05/2015 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2rebecca · 21/05/2015 20:37

Has anyone mentioned the war yet?

simplydevine05 · 21/05/2015 20:42

Mine are in a drawer in the bathroom which isn't very convenient but I have a very inquisitive seven year old boy in my house who is likely to ask what they are and he's not ready for that discussion yet!
In my old house I had them out on the windowsill when I was on as it was out of eye line for my ds. Not one visitor commented and why should they? It is something every female goes through and isn't anything to be ashamed of.