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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have my tampons on display?

447 replies

ElleGrace · 20/05/2015 13:45

Hi there,
This is actually my first post on here (despite me being an avid mumsnetter for the past 5+ years!) so bare with!
Basically, OH and I have recently moved in to a new place together and are having a ridiculous rather silly debate over whether or not it is socially acceptable to have (unused) tampons on display in the bathroom.
To my way of thinking, anyone who enters our home will be perfectly aware that I, a woman, have a menstrual cycle and therefore use some form of feminine product in my bathroom. The only hidden storage we have in the bathroom is on the opposite side of the room to the toilet, which is an inconvenience to get to. Therefore, I have a glass jar of tampons on the shelf right next to the toilet, alongside many other glass jars filled with cotton buds, cotton pads, candles etc. IMO, there is no difference in seeing a tampon in the bathroom than seeing something like a cotton bud.
On the other hand, my OH argues that although people are aware I use tampons, they don't really need to see proof of it. He compared it to having a jar of condoms in the bathroom.
I understand this is a really ridiculous argument, but it really got me thinking as to whether I should really have to hide my feminine products in my own home, or as to whether I'm simply being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.
I'd love to hear your opinions on this trivial matter, and I'd also like to know whether your products are hidden from view too.

OP posts:
cailindana · 21/05/2015 13:27

That's fair enough propel. I also work from home and people don't come around when I'm working.

LikeIcan · 21/05/2015 13:28

Lol @ 'lower middle class'

I'm very comfortable in my home & visitors are welcome at anytime - my living/kitchen area is tidy but not so tidy to make anyone feel on edge.
I just think a bathroom should be clutter and tampon free. And that's quite normal as in all my years I've never been into a friends bathroom & seen a box of tampons.
It must be a trendy liberal thing ?

cailindana · 21/05/2015 13:29

Hah I'm hardly a trendy liberal!

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 13:29

I think I am a bit like you cailindana for me the ultimate compliment is for people to feel at home in my house, and that's the type of house I like to visit.

Not for me because that would mean having to wash up and feed the cat.

When I have guests I like them to feel pampered and spoiled, the homes I most enjoy visiting are the ones which make me feel the same way.
I like people to feel special when they come to visit, not to be oing the washing up.

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 13:30

cailindana but unless you work set hours how do people know when they can just drop in?

a2011x · 21/05/2015 13:30

No, I put mine away only for tidyness. On the occasion they are left out and my dad or FIL is visiting I have been known to put them away and I don't know why. He wouldn't care and I am not really bothered, I just feel if I can put them away I will. No idea why, when my DD is all grown up she can put them wherever she likes and I will never make her feel she should be embarassed of them.

cailindana · 21/05/2015 13:32

My friends do indeed wash up and feed the cat Blush But I do the same in their houses so it all evens out in the end.

cailindana · 21/05/2015 13:32

I do work set hours propel.

makeminea6x · 21/05/2015 13:33

When I have guests I like them to feel pampered and spoiled, the homes I most enjoy visiting..

We're all different, and it probably doesn't matter. In fact it seems like it probably works out pretty well in this respect!

I might be a bit liberal in some respects, I'm not trendy though. Is it bad to be liberal?

Egged · 21/05/2015 13:35

I'm Irish, too, Cailin, and no, social class doesn't really translate, does it? And Propelus, I'm absolutely not suggesting that wanting your guests to have a nice time is in any class-dependent or British (I'm not, and I like people to enjoy themselves at my house), but that how that 'nice experience' manifests itself may be class-specific to an extent?

I've lived in England for years, but mostly in London. Now I live in a village in deepest rural England and through contacts from various toddler groups, have seen inside houses that are quite puzzling to me in that they are (at least in the 'public' downstairs areas) almost empty.

My next door neighbours (who have lived in their house for 25 years) have a large front-to-back-of-house living room that is entirely empty bar a three-piece suite and a TV and acres of white carpet, a large dining room that is entirely empty bar a dining table and eight black leather chairs, and, oddest of all to me, a huge kitchen whose work surfaces are completely bare to the extent that when we were given coffee, our neighbour had to retrieve the kettle from a drawer. Nothing on the walls, no bookshelves, no evidence anyone ever cooked or ate or actually lived there - it had that slightly eerie, uninhabited look of a show house.

I'm assuming that the house is as they like it, as they seem to have a lot of money - but I thought for a long time after we moved in next door that it was so empty because they had just renovated/repainted/recarpeted it and hadn't put all their belongings back yet.

We don't live in squalor by any means - we have a cleaner who cleans - but there are rugs on the floorboards, full bookshelves everywhere, shoes on a rack inside the front door, kettle and toaster, mixer and fruit bowls on the work surfaces, plants on windowsills, flowers and books on the kitchen table plus whatever colouring//baking/playdoughing the toddler has been doing, his toys in a basket in the corner, paintings and things on the walls etc.

It's not that we don't like the place to look nice, but 'tidied up' doesn't figure in my definition of looking nice, if you see what I mean. I mean, we had a family of friends over from Paris last weekend, adults and children, and while obviously we prepared two rooms for them to sleep in with clean bedlinen, books, reading lights etc, and cleared a shelf in the bathroom for them, most of our efforts before they actually arrived were in cooking things to eat!

Sorry - essay!

izzy76 · 21/05/2015 13:35

Lol i had the same arguement 23years ago with my 1st hubby,(i won) i always have boxes of tampons/towels and panti liners in various sizes on the window sill sat next to the loo roll and no one batters a eye lid and most weekends there is 13 people here and they know if they need them then there there as it saves them having to ask.I think its natural to have then there as its the place that you need them so dont hide em away :)

Whathaveilost · 21/05/2015 13:37

M amazed at the strength of feelings on this post over something I've never even given a second thought to!

The way it works in my house is that DH will do a big shop and ask if there's anything I need so I'll say 'yeah,we are out of cheese,coriander. Blah blah blah and tampons'

He buys the items needed and Either him or me will put the in the bathroom with the bubble bath, shampoo and anything else.
They might live on the window sill for a day or two or they might go in the cupboard.

I the only female in the house and nobody has ever got sweaty about seeing a box of tampons!

cailindana · 21/05/2015 13:39

It is a cultural thing to an extent I think (though within the culture people vary hugely of course!). It took my English friends a while to get that I don't expect them to stand on ceremony in my house, that they can just come in and make tea etc. They laugh about the food thing and I do think that's Irish - you don't necessarily tidy up for visitors but you do definitely make sure they're barely able to leave due to the amount they've eaten.

cailindana · 21/05/2015 13:41

Specifically with tampons/pads etc though I know my family is very squeamish and odd about it. My mother objects even to having a bathroom bin as she disagrees with disposing of things like pads in anything but a private bedroom bin. It's only since moving to England that I've been able to have a bathroom bin and leave my pads wherever I want!

cailindana · 21/05/2015 13:42

The Mrs Doyle - "tea, father, go on have a sandwich" thing very much plays on the Irish need to feed visitors. Whereas some people might see tidying and putting out nice candles etc as making people feel welcome I see stuffing them full of food as the important thing!

ArfurFoulkesayke · 21/05/2015 13:45

Astonished by the length of this thread. I have literally never given this any thought at all and am a bit Sad and Shock I've been unwittingly offending people that come into my home, by leaving a box of my own tampons by my own loo.
I like to think I'm normally quite considerate of guests as well!

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 13:46

Maybe we are reading too much into it. egged, perhaps aethetics is as important rather than whether we are inhibited hide aways or rad-fem liberals.

I like clean rooms and no clutter, others may find that spartan and cold.
These two images: which environment would make you feel better:
I think you know my answer:

to have my tampons on display?
to have my tampons on display?
nokidshere · 21/05/2015 13:46

How have we gone from tampons to being uptight because we don't like clutter??

Everyone drops in and out of my house, no one stands on ceremony, but it's still clean and tidy (except at 5;30pm) the majority of the time. Being someone who likes things in cupboards and not on display does not make me an unwelcome host who stands on ceremony!

nokidshere · 21/05/2015 13:49

Oh and I am 54 years old from a family of all females and I have never had to borrow a tampon from anyone despite heavy and irregular periods. No-one has ever asked me for any either!

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 13:50

sameherenokidshere ( and I am also 54!!)

RachelWatts · 21/05/2015 13:54

Partially inspired by this thread, I've taken my open boxes of tampons and emptied them into a basket so they take up less room, and found out my stash of unopened tampons from the bedroom.

I now realise I have 3 spare boxes of 'yellow' size and absolutely none of 'green' size, so thanks, mumsnet, for reminding me to organise my sanpro

Floggingmolly · 21/05/2015 13:59

Now display them on your windowsill, Rachel, and you will be truly emancipated. Apparently.

derxa · 21/05/2015 14:00

Egged I'm Scottish and from farming stock. I don't get the class thing or the extreme tidiness thing either. I don't need tampons since I am ancient but still use panty liners. I don't hide them and my family consist of two sons and a husband. Our house is really informal with quite a lot of clutter but not overly so. (I have a cleaner once a week so tidy up for them) I grew up close to nature so blood, shit sex was an everyday sight.

RachelWatts · 21/05/2015 14:02

Floggingmolly - way ahead of you.

OnlyLovers · 21/05/2015 14:04

I've largely lost the will to live over this thread and haven't read to the end, but

I like my surroundings with a little more aesthetic quality ... Sounds like a grotty student flat

How fucking rude.

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