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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have my tampons on display?

447 replies

ElleGrace · 20/05/2015 13:45

Hi there,
This is actually my first post on here (despite me being an avid mumsnetter for the past 5+ years!) so bare with!
Basically, OH and I have recently moved in to a new place together and are having a ridiculous rather silly debate over whether or not it is socially acceptable to have (unused) tampons on display in the bathroom.
To my way of thinking, anyone who enters our home will be perfectly aware that I, a woman, have a menstrual cycle and therefore use some form of feminine product in my bathroom. The only hidden storage we have in the bathroom is on the opposite side of the room to the toilet, which is an inconvenience to get to. Therefore, I have a glass jar of tampons on the shelf right next to the toilet, alongside many other glass jars filled with cotton buds, cotton pads, candles etc. IMO, there is no difference in seeing a tampon in the bathroom than seeing something like a cotton bud.
On the other hand, my OH argues that although people are aware I use tampons, they don't really need to see proof of it. He compared it to having a jar of condoms in the bathroom.
I understand this is a really ridiculous argument, but it really got me thinking as to whether I should really have to hide my feminine products in my own home, or as to whether I'm simply being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.
I'd love to hear your opinions on this trivial matter, and I'd also like to know whether your products are hidden from view too.

OP posts:
nooka · 21/05/2015 00:49

Lol tbtc at my poor dd in the cupboard under the sink. Still at least she has all the packs of sanitary towels to keep her comfy Grin

GatoradeMeBitch · 21/05/2015 01:28

Poor DS has been thoroughly desensitized because I'm so scatterbrained I have occasionally forgotten a used applicator in its wrapper next to the toilet on the edge of bath instead of taking it to the bin to throw away, and he'd throw it away for me with a long suffering expression on his face. At least he won't be frightened by any future menstruating girlfriends! (And I've bought a small bin for the bathroom now...)

however · 21/05/2015 04:42

He is only being reasonable if for some reason he has to put on a condom while on the toilet.

You need them while on the loo. It's kind of why the toilet paper is right there, you know? You use it to wipe away poo. Everyone knows what it is for. Surely that is more 'yuk' or 'gross' than your period?

derxa · 21/05/2015 05:23

If my DH had made such a suggestion, I might have placed them in many strategic places. All around the house.

lunalelle · 21/05/2015 05:41

My concern is that the OP merely refers to her 'OH'. What if they are not married, and she is USING TAMPONS?

clutches pearls

Floggingmolly · 21/05/2015 08:30

ffs guys! People who keeps their tampons in a cupboard are not hiding them; how many times? Confused

Some people find clutter unrestful, I put things in cupboards out of sight for the same reason that I refuse to clutter my mantlepieces with "knick knacks".
All this bollocks about "Mine are out and proud. I'm not ashamed of anyone seeing". Neither are the rest of us, ok?

thegreylady · 21/05/2015 08:39

I used to keep them in the bedroom most of the time and in the box by the side if the loo (on the floor) when needed. I am long past needing such things but keep a box of tampons and a pack of slimline pads in case visitors need them (I have teenage granddaughters).

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 08:52

I have never had a visitor ask my for sanitary protection. Neither have I ever asked- I always keep a supply in my bag for emergencies.

I have a menstruating DD- if she had a friend over in need of supplies she would sort her friend out. She wouldn't want me to get involved.

Gottagetmoving · 21/05/2015 09:07

I wonder why so many give an aggressive response like 'if people don't like it they can bugger off' etc .. and 'I am not ashamed of menstruating..blah..blah'
Why do you have people whose feelings you don't give a shit about in your house? and why do you feel the need to declare you are not ashamed of menstruating when no one says you should be?

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 09:12

I agree- it's a bit of a defensive attitude.

LadyCatherineDeTurd · 21/05/2015 09:12

I've never had a visitor ask for it, either. But I've had a couple tell me they've helped themselves when caught short.

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 09:17

I wouldn't ask.

If I am menstruating then I never leave the house without extra protection in my bag ( in fact I keep it there all month long).
If on an extremely rare ocassion that I am caught short and no supplies then I would use a wad of loo roll stuffed in my knickers until I could buy some tampons.

LadyNym · 21/05/2015 09:28

Feeling the need to hide them because of embarrassment is silly. Keeping them in a cupboard/drawer etc. because you don't like clutter or because it's the closest/most accessible place from the loo is reasonable. It's not something I have to think about at the moment since the contraception I'm on stops my periods.

To those saying having them on show is 'advertising'; do you also consider having toothpaste on show as advertising the fact you get bacteria in your mouth or shampoo being out advertising greasy hair?

And if it's attention seeking to have tampons where people might see them, I don't know what that makes me. I actually used to have my tampons and towels in a drawer because it was right next to the toilet and convenient but after I had my DSs I left the maternity pads out in the bathroom and there were breast pads and tubes of nipple cream all over the house! I have also asked DH to pick up various tampons/breast pads etc. if he's going to the shop and I even asked my dad to get me some sanitary towels when he was staying and asked if I needed anything after I'd had DS and the bleeding had settled to the point I didn't need the huge maternity pads anymore. Neither DH or my dad seemed bothered...

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2015 10:22

"If on an extremely rare ocassion that I am caught short and no supplies then I would use a wad of loo roll stuffed in my knickers until I could buy some tampons."

Really????? Rather than ask for a tampon from another woman of menstuating age? Why on earth?

2rebecca · 21/05/2015 10:33

I'm like LadyNim. It's rare I don't have a tampon with me but it's also rare I'm not within easy reach of somewhere who sells them. I'm fairly independant and would just use loo roll and go to the shop. It's not exactly arduous although there was a thread a while ago about a mother who flet her daughter had been traumatised for life by having to cope with loo roll rather than a tampon. I don't see it as that big a deal.
If it's late at night/ miles from anywhere I'd ask someone. I'm not embarrassed to ask I'm just not that concerned at using loo roll for a while. Different if you have heavy periods I suppose.

Floggingmolly · 21/05/2015 10:34

You don't even have to ask; just look in the bathroom cabinet. Not being in a glass jar on the windowsill doesn't mean they're deliberately hidden, just out of sight.

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 10:36

I agree 2rebecca.

If my period starts unexpectedly then I see no problem using tissue. I am very independent too, and prefer to sort myself out.
Neither would I ask my host for dental floss or toenail clippers. I would go out and buy them if I needed them.

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2015 10:45

What if you went to the loo and there was no loo roll? Would you pop out any buy some? If you cut yourself- would you ask for a plaster, or leave the party to drive to Sainsbury's.......

IndridCold · 21/05/2015 10:45

Why not use an opaque jar for them, then you still have them where you need them and no one else can see inside.

This.

I wouldn't particularly want to look at cotton buds and cotton wool balls either, if I'm honest.

1Morewineplease · 21/05/2015 10:46

I ditto MrsToddsShortcut!

And when you do have DCs they'll have a whale of a time playing with "the mice in tubes"!!!

CheesyDibbles · 21/05/2015 10:58

I was brought up by my dad and I remember him having a huge go at me for leaving my tampons out on display. I remember feeling furiously angry and shamed at the same time (I was 13). Then again, he would also call me a slut if my bedroom was untidy (but that's another story).

Nowadays, I have a wicker basket in the bathroom cupboard and once a month it comes out for a week. I usually put the basket away when we have guests. My dh does not bat an eyelid and has never mentioned it.

I do remember going to stay with a friend when I was a teenager, and her mum used to leave her used sanitary towels in an open bin by the loo. I found that utterly revolting.

What I do, is my choice. I would never judge anyone for leaving tampons out on display.

cailindana · 21/05/2015 11:07

When my mother was here DH was doing an internet shop and asked me if he'd chosen the right sanitary towels. We had a two-minute discussion on it (along the lines of "you like the ones with wings don't you? Isn't that packet purple normally?") and when I turned around my mother was goggling at us. She didn't say anything and I think she feels quite jealous of the fact that I don't have to sneak around and hide that I'm human from my husband. My dad is a mild-mannered person but periods were definitely not open for discussion when I was at home, which considering there were four women in the house is quite sad really. It must have been so hard for her and her sisters growing up in a tiny house with four boys, trying to hide these things because they're "embarrassing."

LikeIcan · 21/05/2015 11:19

YABU - & rather lacking in etiquette.

Tampons are an extremely intimate part of a woman's 'routine' & should not be on show. It's crass & embarrassing.

hobNong · 21/05/2015 11:22

Tampons are an extremely intimate part of a woman's 'routine' & should not be on show. It's crass & embarrassing.

....LOL!

Kewcumber · 21/05/2015 11:29

Toilet paper on the other hand is perfectly acceptable? Confused

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