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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is very rude to have your mobile phone on the table when out/having dinner?

103 replies

angelos02 · 18/05/2015 09:59

I've never witnessed this among my own friends/family but there was a video on Facebook of a father being fed up with his sons constantly checking their mobiles so he gets out an old-school typewriter and starts typing away.

Who would put up with such behaviour. If someone was constantly checking their phone while with me I would walk out. I would assume they wouldn't be bothered as my company was obviously boring them.

OP posts:
BlueBananas · 18/05/2015 10:02

There's a difference between having your phone on the table - which I always do and constantly checking it - which I only do if it beeps or rings
Constantly checking your phone is very rude yes

M27J5M · 18/05/2015 10:02

I'm forever fighting with my DP about this, 1 of us normally checks phones to make sure no 1 has phoned about kids but that's a glance at the screen, he fits messaging and on FB etc! Think I've eventually got through to him tho

mrsfuzzy · 18/05/2015 10:04

i'd hate it too, it's so disrepectful rude, phones etc are banned at the meal table whilst we are eating, anyone can 'survive' for half an hour without their electronic toys.

Original poster
angelos02 · 18/05/2015 10:06

It is just so needy. On holiday, I literally never check it.

OP posts:
ScOffasDyke · 18/05/2015 10:06

I agree, phones should stay in bags or pockets. It's rude to keep checking it or even looking at it.
Although I usually take this too far by leaving the damn thing at home

donemekmelarf · 18/05/2015 10:06

Not rude to put the phone on the table.
Butvery rude to have it switched on, unless you're expecting some emergency.

Would it really kill people to manage for half an hour without checking their phones?
How did we all survive before mobile phones?

donemekmelarf · 18/05/2015 10:07

Even worse are the idiots that take photos of every single course.
WHY?

CMOTDibbler · 18/05/2015 10:08

Theres no need to be looking at your phone at all at the table or when socialising unless you are expecting news on a critical illness or are on call for work.

Drives me round the bend when people do this

Original poster
angelos02 · 18/05/2015 10:08

I think some people think it makes them look popular. I think the absolute opposite.

Woman at work is constantly checking hers and telling me what is going on with her friends/her social life. I couldn't be less interested.

OP posts:
donemekmelarf · 18/05/2015 10:10

a father being fed up with his sons constantly checking their mobiles so he gets out an old-school typewriter and starts typing away

Love this.

It's basic bad manners.

missmartha · 18/05/2015 10:11

I never put my phone on the table, it's not usually necessary. If you are expecting an important phone call/text, you might mention it.

I was however pissed off when DH and I were eating out with self confessed luddite friends. They are always saying how much they don't need phones, computers etc., and that all this technology is the reason that society is going to Hell in a hand cart (is it?).

Anyway, I heard a text message come in and I took my phone out of my bag to see, only to find my male friend with his chin literally on my shoulder reading the text and asking "What is it love?"

Pissed me off, very much. Spoiled my poached salmon it really did.

Dunkling · 18/05/2015 10:12

Phone on table ok if you have babysitters or maybe expecting an urgent important call.... and explain to your company first.

Not ok to answer or look a text in any other circumstances. I would ask them if I was boring them. So rude.

Rosa · 18/05/2015 10:14

Thanks to my mobile it means I can have a life whilst working. I often have problems happening at anti social hours . It sits on the table in vibration or quiet mode so it doesn't ring loud and disturb other people . ( and I leave the restaurant if I have to talk) However when ever possible it sits in my bag or off ! When we are out either dh or I will have a phone near for baby sitter calls .

nickersinaknot · 18/05/2015 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnlyLovers · 18/05/2015 10:17

I think you should turn phones off when out with people, personally. Getting them out and playing on them over dinner or whatever is breathtakingly rude but, sadly, getting more common IME.

BitOutOfPractice · 18/05/2015 10:18

Only times I check my phone at the table:

  1. If I hear a text from one of the kids (they have their own text tones) because that usually means "come and pick me up" or "mom I've forgotten my xyzzy"
  1. To google something to settle a debate we are having like: who sold more records, Beyoncé or New Kids On the Block or such vital matters.
Perfectlypurple · 18/05/2015 10:20

I don't see why you need to check it if it beeps or rings unless you are expecting a call regarding emergency. When my Nan was at the end of life I would keep my phone out and explain that if my mum called I would need to answer. If it was someone else I didn't answer. My phone stays in my bag or pocket. I concentrate on enjoying my time with friends or family and not worrying about who is texting me. I have a friend who I now don't like going out with. Her phone is constantly on the table and she is constantly answering texts and calls and leaves me sat on my own while she is off on the phone. It drives me nuts. The only reason that I haven't put a stop to the friendship is that it is her partner that calls and he is a controlling arse so for that reason I am a bit more understanding of the situation.

Judydreamsofhorses · 18/05/2015 10:20

I hate it and think it's really rude. Unless it's an emergency, I would never take a call when I was speaking with someone in person either (not necessarily specifically at dinner), and find it quite rude when people do that too.

DoJo · 18/05/2015 10:20

Nothing rude about putting your phone on the table - if you might get a call from a babysitter or similar and don't want to squash it in your pocket then it makes sense. I don't have a smart phone though, so unless it beeps or rings, there's nothing to check, except the time.

Original poster
angelos02 · 18/05/2015 10:21

Saddest is seeing young-uns walking along holding their mobile phone whilst with friends. What are they waiting for?

OP posts:
donemekmelarf · 18/05/2015 10:22

I don't understand why you have to keep in contact with your children 24/7.

My children managed to get all the way through school without me being in contact with them every minute of the day. Confused

EvilTendency1 · 18/05/2015 10:22

YANBU It's very rude.

Why do you need to check your phone for ever beep / notification when at a table ? If it's urgent, people are under instruction to call me.

Pilgrimforever · 18/05/2015 10:24

I put my mobile on the table but that is because i never take a handbag with me and i can't sit down with my phone in my pocket.
I'll put my phone on silent as it flashes red when i have a call/text/email.
I do check it when it flashes but only actually do anything with it if it's one of my children or whoever is looking after them. Anybody or thing else gets ignored.

BitOutOfPractice · 18/05/2015 10:24

When did I say I had to be in contact 24/7? Just that if they text it's generally that they need me (or they are with their dad and have news for me).

I got through childhood fine without phones too, but that's because they didn't exist so it's a bit disingenuous to say that I think.

evertonmint · 18/05/2015 10:25

Have it on the table if it's a noisy place and I have a babysitter who might need to contact me but I don't actually look at it.

Otherwise, it stays in my bag.

And I'm scarily addicted to my phone - on here and FB way too much - so if I can survive without checking it at dinner then pretty much everyone can.

Having said that, so many people think it's ok to shut their children up at the dining table with iPads etc. rather than actually engaging with them that it won't surprise me if in 10-20 years time nobody is capable of dinner conversation any more.