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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is very rude to have your mobile phone on the table when out/having dinner?

103 replies

angelos02 · 18/05/2015 09:59

I've never witnessed this among my own friends/family but there was a video on Facebook of a father being fed up with his sons constantly checking their mobiles so he gets out an old-school typewriter and starts typing away.

Who would put up with such behaviour. If someone was constantly checking their phone while with me I would walk out. I would assume they wouldn't be bothered as my company was obviously boring them.

OP posts:
balletgirlmum · 18/05/2015 18:39

The last time I didn't answer my phone whilst out I missed a call from school telling me ds was being taken to hospital after an accident.

If I know dd is home alone I will make sure I always have my phone with me & on. I don't bother as much if she's with an adult.

AbsentMindedNumpty · 18/05/2015 19:00

I never realised that having a phone on the table in the pub was rude Shock. It isn't in my social circle Grin.

Mintyy · 18/05/2015 19:55

It's just unnecessary. If you are out and have to be contactable by a babysitter or elderly parent, have the volume turned up high enough so that you can hear it from your bag.

There is NO reason why you NEED to have your phone on the table.

I didn't even have a mobile phone until I was 35! How do you imagine I survived until then?

To the poster who suffers anxiety caused by her phone, then you have my every sympathy and I hope you are seeking treatment for this (cbt or nlp would be great for this sort of issue).

expatinscotland · 18/05/2015 19:57

YANBU

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 18/05/2015 20:12

It's not possible to hear a mobile in some venues.

It's liberating to not have to pay attention to my phone when the kids are out with us, or (far less frequently) we're in a different time zone & the kids in care of the grandparents. But if they're with "just" a babysitter, I feel twitchy not being reachable.

My heart sinks when I have a string of missed calls/voice mails from my kids requesting a goodnight call. They normally call before bed.

Marvel101 · 18/05/2015 20:30

Drives me insane

DH is constantly on his phone when we're with people. It's left to me to carry the conversation. I ask him to get off it and he says he has to check something for work - but if I look at his phone he's on Facebook or looking up the football scores

LikeIcan · 18/05/2015 20:39

Teenagers I'd expect it, anyone over the age of about 21 - totally tragic.

expatinscotland · 18/05/2015 20:39

'It's not possible to hear a mobile in some venues.'

Then turn the volume up and put it on vibrate.

expatinscotland · 18/05/2015 20:42

Can't wait for the pedulum to swing back when it becomes uncool to be constantly on a fucking phone.

HumphreyCobbler · 18/05/2015 20:49

Doesn't this have a name? Phubbing. It is a good name.

Ashbeeee · 18/05/2015 20:55

We have a ban on all mobile devices at the table for grown ups and kids. Pretty awful really as we now have to talk to each other. Ffs

Kasey86 · 18/05/2015 21:01

Obviously be contactable for babysitters etc, we do this on the rare occasion we go out, but for me i just put it in my bag on loud.
I've been out with friends and say one of us will pick up their phone to show perhaps a baby pic or whatever and then one by one, everyone else follows and before you know it, nobody is communicating verbally.
For me, socialising is just that, and when out I like to chat and catch up properly instead of having to keep stop/starting because somebody else is on their phone and has lost track of the conversation.

balletgirlmum · 18/05/2015 21:14

I have been in a pub or shopping centre with my phone on loud & vibrate & have not heard the call.

Mintyy · 18/05/2015 21:26

Say goodnight to your children before you go out!

After that you are in the company of whoever you are out with. Good lord.

TartanTrousers · 18/05/2015 22:17

I was once tagged in a Facebook status by a friend who had been sat using his phone all night about the amazing time he was having...ironic really considering he was the only one in the group not participating.

nocoolnamesleft · 18/05/2015 22:28

When a valued colleague was having a leaving meal at a restaurant 10 minutes from work, then yes, I was the rude person with the phone on the table. But it was the only way I could go: when you're oncall for emergencies, you don't take any chance of missing hearing the call.

hazeyjane · 18/05/2015 22:34

I also never knew it was rude to have the phone on the table!

I hardly ever go out though.

It just seems sensible to me, I don't have a hand bag, so keep it in my pocket, but easier to see/hear it ringing if there is an emergency.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/05/2015 09:33

I don't think it is particularly good manners to leave phone on tables....it gives the message that the expected company isn't in some way good enough... And should be interrupted randomly.... Except in absolute emergencies which you would mention to your friends ... (ie death, serious illness, trapped underwater in car Hmm).

Imho all other comms are seriously rude... Why go if you're spending more time up dating your feed than being with your live companions...

Mrscog · 19/05/2015 09:42

I personally wouldn't find it rude if someone had their phone on the table but didn't faff with it. If it makes them feel better that's fine by me.

Original poster
angelos02 · 19/05/2015 09:53

Can't wait for the pedulum to swing back when it becomes uncool to be constantly on a fucking phone.

It already has I think. I just assume someone is bored with the people they are with if they are checking their phone whilst out with them.

OP posts:
peggyundercrackers · 19/05/2015 10:02

need my phone for work all the time, on call, I am also escalation point for my team who work 24x7... I put the phone on the table but only look at it if it beeps, if it rings I leave the table. friends and family know its for work and have no issues with it.

shrunkenhead · 19/05/2015 10:24

I think it basicslly says "I'm so important and popular and people need to be in touch with me at all times" makes me want to say get over yourself and enjoy tbe compsny you're with! Also think it's so sad to see people at concerts videoing it on their mobiles rather than enjoyong the moment! As another poster said, there will be a complete shift and having a mobile constantly in your hand/on your person/on table will no longer be seen as being "cool" but chavvy/rude/disrespectful.

OnlyLovers · 19/05/2015 10:39

Well of course being on emergency call is fine. But it sounds like most of the 'offenders' described on this thread don't fall into that category.

Original poster
angelos02 · 19/05/2015 10:40

Same goes for people constantly updating where they are/what they are doing. I assume you're having a shit boring time if you are doing that.

OP posts:
LikeIcan · 19/05/2015 10:41

I honestly think adults who never put their phone down are slightly mad or having an affair.