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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to still have DS in a cot..?

112 replies

Milkandmarmite · 17/05/2015 21:52

I have one ds, 2.8 years who still sleeps in a cot bed with the sides up.

I haven't taken them down yet as he hasn't figured out how to climb out, so as far as I am concerned the need hasn't yet arisen.

However, I have had more than a few comments now from visitors and family members suggesting that he is FAR TOO OLD to be sleeping in a cot.

AIBU? Surely, it's better he isn't running about the place causing havoc at bed time any earlier than he needs to be?! I am of the mind - all in good time! On a side note, this is also my approach with potty training, he is no where near ready and has absolutely NO interest so I have decided not to push it quite yet. However the raised eyebrows are coming thick and fast for that too...

Sigh, is it me... AIBU?

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 17/05/2015 21:54

If you're happy, and he's happy, and everyone is safe and getting some sleep, then it's all good as far as I can tell.

meglet · 17/05/2015 21:57

Yanbu.

DS was in his cot bed until 3.2. I only took the sides off when he jumped out. He's always been a champion sleeper so obviously had no reason to budge.

lollipop28 · 17/05/2015 21:57

No yanbu but I'd consider taking the sides of it down.
Though that said mine were in single beds before 18 months.

PattiODoors · 17/05/2015 21:57

Och Yanbu, it's a non problemo

(Thinks back ruefully to own sprog 2 who launched out of cot at 13 months, the little horror!)

DoMeDon · 17/05/2015 21:57

Yabu to ask. You're all happy, carry on. Childhood is fleeting, he won't be in a cot/nappy at 18.

MagelanicClouds · 17/05/2015 22:01

Are you getting the mad anecdotes where a mum tells you her child 'virtually potty trained herself' before the age of 2?
I had a few of those when ds1 started with the potty at 2 1/2. I didn't really believe them I have to admit. Start a child on potty training to early and it all goes badly, so I'm told. We bought the potty when he just turned 2 but he was terrified of it so we left it until he lost the fear and felt ready.
I have quite a few friends with DC of similar age to mine and potty training has begin from just after the age of two to past three.
Yes, it's later than average but I'd say - he's your son and you know him best.

Siennasun · 17/05/2015 22:01

My DS(2.5) still has the sides up on his cot bed. I've not had any raised eyebrows or comments. I have a friend who's DS is older than yours and is still in a cot. Why make life hard for yourself?

SpringInTheStep · 17/05/2015 22:02

Nope. No need to remove cot sides until they need to traipse out to the loo at night for potty training.

Especially if, like my DC, they're little pickles at settling!

Missdread · 17/05/2015 22:03

Not at all; mine is 3 in August and he's still in a baby sleeping bag in his cot. I don't feel the need to transfer to a bed until he works out how to climb, which, up to now, he's shown no interest in. Grin Don't feel pressured by anyone ;-)

VoldemortsNipple · 17/05/2015 22:03

2.8 isn't too old to have not started potty training of you feel your DS isn't ready. As for his cot,if he has enough space to sleep comfortable then it's not really a big issue.

However I would say, think about your decisions and ask yourself if you are ready to let your baby grow up. I work in early years and occasionally a parent wants to keep their child a baby for as long as possible. Being independent is a big part of being two and I would say you are doing your child a dis-service by not encouraging this.

Original poster
Milkandmarmite · 17/05/2015 22:03

Thanks - this is reassuring - i suppose i wanted to check as I am started to get the 'hindering his progress' looks or something Hmm

OP posts:
LovesYoungDream · 17/05/2015 22:04

Ignore the visitors what they don't know and don't get told, they can't lecture you about. My dd slept much better before we took down the bars. Do what works best for you and your dd.

MagelanicClouds · 17/05/2015 22:04

Just remembered - my youngest niece was moved to a bed just before she was 2. Bedtime has been nothing but a pita for my sister ever since as my niece just doesn't get staying put! She's nearly four now. They let her out too early....

trilbydoll · 17/05/2015 22:05

We only took the side off because we were trapped in some horrific bedtime tantrum cycle and needed a fresh start. I wouldn't have done it without a reason, if he isn't climbing out, why would you bother?

Actually, having said that, he must be really heavy to lift in. I might take the side off to save myself the effort!

SillyBub · 17/05/2015 22:06

DC1 was almost 3 before he left his cot. A standard sized, non cot bed cot at that. He was happy, he slept well, never tried to escape despite being an avid climber everywhere else. DC2 started escaping her cot about 18 months old and was quickly into a bed. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

poocatcherchampion · 17/05/2015 22:07

My 18mo did virtually potty train herself.

Boast.

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 22:07

However, I have had more than a few comments now from visitors and family members suggesting that he is FAR TOO OLD to be sleeping in a cot.

None of their business. Whatever you do, there'll always be someone who thinks you're doing it 'wrong' because it's not the way they did things.

Have you asked them what calamitous fate they fear will befall him as a direct result of still being in a cot? Because I guarantee they will have no logical response.

Starlightbright1 · 17/05/2015 22:07

Nope... My Ds was out early because he was a climber who learnt to climb out.

if your all happy with it ignore the others. The thing with parenting no matter what you do someone will always disagree with you and think there way is better.

If sleep is working don't change it

Marvel101 · 17/05/2015 22:08

DS is 3 and a half and only recently started sleeping in a bed. It was great when he was in the cot as he couldn't get out and get up to mischief at bedtime.

Original poster
Milkandmarmite · 17/05/2015 22:09

VoldemortsNipple (love the name!) No, it's not me. I'm quite happy for him to move onwards and upwards! With regard to potty training, his nursery have agreed it wouldn't be a good time quite yet.

And the cot? Well I guess that is more selfish reasons, I don't want him running about the place until he needs to. He's happy and secure at the moment so we will just take it when it comes Smile

OP posts:
RandomMess · 17/05/2015 22:09

YANBU the longer they stay in them the better, they're happy and sleep well why change it?!!!!!

We eventually took off one side I think when they had toilet trained but they kept their cots for a long long time because they take up less space and they were happy in them.

ScarlettDarling · 17/05/2015 22:11

Think I win this one...my ds was three and a half before we took down the sides of his cot bed. One particular friend commented regularly on how odd and unsuitable this was and how a child of his age needed his own bed! He did have his own bed...one with bars on the side!

As he slept 7 til 7 every night, I really saw no need to rock the boat. Did the same with dd, bars remained up til after she was three.

Lucked · 17/05/2015 22:14

Mine was over three and we could have left it longer as he was happy. We now have one side off with a safety bed rail, there is only one a little space at his pillow where he can get in and out. He never gets out if we aren't there but he does love doing it himself and we are not allowed to lift him.

Alyx80 · 17/05/2015 22:14

My DS is 3y3m and still in his cotbed with the sides up. He's happy and sleeps very well so I'm not in a rush to change it, especially with a new baby in the house too!
Have been waiting for him to try and climb out but he hasn't yet lol. Will probably move him this summer - maybe!

VoldemortsNipple · 17/05/2015 22:14

I really wouldn't worry then milkandmarmite I only say what I do because I have seen children really held back by their parents. And don't get me started on the parents who stick a dummy in their 2.6 year olds mouth as soon as they collect them even though the child's dummy has been in their bag all day Hmm