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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to still have DS in a cot..?

112 replies

Milkandmarmite · 17/05/2015 21:52

I have one ds, 2.8 years who still sleeps in a cot bed with the sides up.

I haven't taken them down yet as he hasn't figured out how to climb out, so as far as I am concerned the need hasn't yet arisen.

However, I have had more than a few comments now from visitors and family members suggesting that he is FAR TOO OLD to be sleeping in a cot.

AIBU? Surely, it's better he isn't running about the place causing havoc at bed time any earlier than he needs to be?! I am of the mind - all in good time! On a side note, this is also my approach with potty training, he is no where near ready and has absolutely NO interest so I have decided not to push it quite yet. However the raised eyebrows are coming thick and fast for that too...

Sigh, is it me... AIBU?

OP posts:
WellTidy · 18/05/2015 09:48

I still have my 3.1 yo in a cot bed with the sides up. He has never tried to get out of it, but then again, he sleeps in a grobag, and so he wouldn't be able to clinb out anyway.

I have no plans to take the sides down. DS has autism, and doesn't seem to need to sleep as much as nyone else in the whole world. So he drops off to sleep quite late (is happy to lay in bed quietly) and wakes earlier than anyone else (probably about 6ish). Him being in his cot means that he is resting (if not sleeping) and not getting up all the time, which emans that we are resting too, and better able to daeal with the day ahead.

MsJuniper · 18/05/2015 09:48

DS is 2.7 and still in his cot. He can climb in and out safely but he seems to like the security of the cot sides when he goes to sleep, often leans against or touches the bars. I am looking at getting a toddler bed though as I think it will be easier for potty training but don't think it's weird at all to stay in until that point.

HerrenaHarridan · 18/05/2015 09:51

My dd was in cot bed with no sides at 11 months.
It didn't occur to her to get out til just before she was 2.
It worked for us.
Yanbu though.

The poster who said the encouraging 2yos to be independent summed up what was wrong with early years care needs to do some actual research.

Sophieelmer · 18/05/2015 09:53

Don't overestimate the power of the grow bag! I had to swiftly move to a bed much sooner than planned, after rushing to a screaming dc with a leg either side of the the cots top rail still in grow bag!

Oldraver · 18/05/2015 09:54

Nope you go with what right for you. DS1 when he started to climb out about 3 ish and DS 1 longer.

When I had DS1 nearly 30 years ago it was quite normal to leave in cot until you needed it. It wouldn't be unusual to have two cots. Its one thing I noticed with DS2 (9) that people seem to move to a bed sometime after the first bithday. Lots of FB posting....ooh look what a big/girl.....then subsequent moaning about then getting out of bed early Grin

MustBeLoopy390 · 18/05/2015 10:02

We took off one side of ds's cot bed at 2 years 9 months, and he went into the bottom bunk of a set of bunk beds at 3 (space issues and needed the cot back in preparation for ds2) he wanders a fair bit in the night, especially into our room for hugs but we don't mind. It's all about finding what works for you as a family, and if that means he's happy in his cot then why change?

ceeveebee · 18/05/2015 10:12

My DTs are still in cots and they are just turned 3 1/2. They sleep like logs for 12 hours a night and I don't see any reason to rock the boat until one of them asks for the bars off. They are both dry at night so no need to get up to use toilet. No one has ever said anything to me about it but if they did I would tell them to mind their own business!

AmberLav · 18/05/2015 10:20

My DS was in the cot till 3, and even then I had to negotiate with him to be able to take them down. He also potty trained at 3, and both worked nicely at the age of three.

The toddler training book recommends keeping little ones in a cot as long as you can... wait till their sense catches up with their physical abilities...

ShoeJunkie · 18/05/2015 10:46

DS1 is just over 3 and moved out of his cot about a month ago so that it's ready for DS2 to move into. Wouldn't have bothered otherwise as he was perfectly happy and making no attempts to climb out.
YANBU.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/05/2015 10:55

DD moved to a toddler bed at 22 months as we needed cot for her baby brother :)

DS stayed in cot until about 2.5 before moving to toddler bed.

It doesn't really matter though if he's still sleeping well. Once he's out of nappies you will probably want to take side off so he can access toilet, even if wearing nappies at night still.

DeladionInch · 18/05/2015 11:10

I can tell you lots of mad anecdotes about ds training himself at 18m. my RL friends will bear witness to my utter shock at it happening.

at 2y6m he's still happily in his cot. he sleeps, he's safe, there's no rush.

MoragG · 18/05/2015 13:08

We moved DD2 (2.5) into a bed a few weeks ago. One interesting result has been that after the first night, she has not wakened up during the night at all since! She had a tendancy to wake quite often in her cot during the night (for reasons unknown), so I am now wondering if she was rolling around bashing her head of the side of the cot. Either way, it has worked really well. However, after our experience with DD1 moving to a bed we did put a stairgate outside her door (which we open once she is asleep) to stop her constantly getting up and wandering downstairs...

Blazing88 · 18/05/2015 13:16

Hmm. I would probably judge if I saw, but hey, I'm not in your house at bedtime! I'd say do what works for you.

Personally, it sounds like you're trying to keep him as a baby? DD was in a bed at 22 months and potty trained by 2 but I already had another 4 month old baby by then.

I have a friend who's son is the same age as my DD (so 2.5 now) and he's still in a cot, still wears vests with poppers and still has a bottle! All very bizarre to me.

I think the main reason I think it's odd is this - how are you supposed to read to them every night if they're in a cot??! I sit on the bed with my daughter and we read together.

NightsOfGethsemane · 18/05/2015 13:21

YANBU. I've only ever switched to a bed when my DCs started climbing out of the cot - which ranged from just under 2 to just under 3.

NightsOfGethsemane · 18/05/2015 13:24

how are you supposed to read to them every night if they're in a cot??! I sit on the bed with my daughter and we read together

I read to my DCs too. We have a sofa in their bedroom and have always snuggled there for stories before bed. Finding somewhere other than bed to read a bedtime story is hardly an insurmountable problem!

Droflove · 18/05/2015 13:30

I keep asking my ds ( 2.4) if he like to sleep in a big boy bed like mummy and he says 'NO! Love my cot'. He's an amazing sleeper so I don't want to rock the boat. We're going on holidays on the summer and he'll have a single bed in the hotels etc so I suspect he'll want one when we get home. Don't worry op as long as he fits! I'm more concerned with stopping his bottle of milk at bed and dodie use first.

Happybodybunny12 · 18/05/2015 13:33

Ignore them op.

Your child your way.

Blazing88 · 18/05/2015 13:33

Nights ha, yes, I guess!

Just, cots are for babies. People do get that, right?! Grin Toddlers are not babies.Hell, 3 yr olds are not even really toddlers..they're children! GrinChildren in cots. Just seems weird to me!

dreamcometrue · 18/05/2015 13:37

Blazing what have vests with poppers got to do with "babying"? My ds (2.9) wears them because else his back is bare a lot with all his climbing, rolling and general toddlerness!
In answer to the original question op you are nbu. Ds came out of his on Sunday purely because when we go on holiday he'll be in a proper bed so he needs to get used to it. So far he hasn't realised he can "escape" Smile

ElizabethG81 · 18/05/2015 13:37

My two are the same age as yours, OP, and they are still in cots and I've not started potty training yet. I get comments about both, but they're from the same people who disapproved of how long I breastfed for, thought I was cruel when I kept them in rear facing car seats for "too long", and suggested solid foods at four months old, so I tend to ignore them Grin Do what's best for you and your family.

Alexandpea · 18/05/2015 13:38

DS 2.5 and still in his cot and resisting my lack lustre attempts at potty training. I get the odd eye raised at the nappies, but no-one's mentioned the bed yet.

I think it's the safest option as he'd still be stampeding round the house if he wasn't constrained. I don't think YABU.

ElizabethG81 · 18/05/2015 13:39

Ha, mine also wear vests with poppers, have dummies and a bottle of milk at bedtime. Flame me Grin

crazykat · 18/05/2015 13:41

As long as he can't climb out then I'd leave him. If he was in a cot I'd think he could do with a junior bed for the extra space but a cotbed is just a junior bed with sides.

If he's happy and you're happy then leave him there for now.

plantsitter · 18/05/2015 13:44

Don't mess with good sleep is my opinion.

MsJuniper · 18/05/2015 14:07

Oh we also have vests with poppers, sleeping bags, a bottle of water at bed and a dummy too (actually 3). And a cosy chair for bedtime stories before curling up in his cot. DS is confident, independent and very much a little boy but if those things help him sleep then I am more than happy for him to have them.