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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to still have DS in a cot..?

112 replies

Milkandmarmite · 17/05/2015 21:52

I have one ds, 2.8 years who still sleeps in a cot bed with the sides up.

I haven't taken them down yet as he hasn't figured out how to climb out, so as far as I am concerned the need hasn't yet arisen.

However, I have had more than a few comments now from visitors and family members suggesting that he is FAR TOO OLD to be sleeping in a cot.

AIBU? Surely, it's better he isn't running about the place causing havoc at bed time any earlier than he needs to be?! I am of the mind - all in good time! On a side note, this is also my approach with potty training, he is no where near ready and has absolutely NO interest so I have decided not to push it quite yet. However the raised eyebrows are coming thick and fast for that too...

Sigh, is it me... AIBU?

OP posts:

gamerchick · 17/05/2015 22:17

Na you keep them in it until they can climb out and then you just take a side off until you get a bed.

No need to change anything until you have too imo.

WineIsMyMainVice · 17/05/2015 22:19

My DD still has the sides up on her cot bed. She is 2.9. Don't sweat it! People love to judge - it's their problem! And they are probably just jealous as their DC is running around at bedtime etc!!!

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 17/05/2015 22:21

Ds was 13 months old, he climbed over the bars the little monkey.

Dd was 18 months.

Your the parent you get to decide.

imwithspud · 17/05/2015 22:22

YANBU, DC1 is 2.5 and has only been in a bed since February. I don't even know why we moved her tbh, she wasn't climbing out or anything. Fortunately it went smoothly, she didn't even realize she could get out at first. I don't understand people who move their kids into a bed when they're still babies (i.e 9/10 months), unless they're climbing out obviously.

We haven't started proper potty training either, I have half heartedly attempted it a couple of times but she's not really interested and with a new baby due imminently we don't feel now is the best time for any big changes. A couple of people have passed comment on her still being in nappies but at the end of the day it's really got nothing to do with anyone else. Doesn't affect them so I don't know why people get so bothered about these things.

sneepy · 17/05/2015 22:23

My youngest brother was so old when he moved out of the cot that he helped take it apart. Undid all the screws himself. He's quite successful now, married etc so I don't think it did him any harm.

Xmasbaby11 · 17/05/2015 23:09

Dd was 2.7 which seemed late but there was no rush - she was fine. She loves having a bed but it's a hassle having a stair gate at the door.

as for potty training, we did it this week and she's 3.5. She wasn't ready before andIhad nothing but supportive comments.

Missm00 · 17/05/2015 23:21

I moved my daughter out of her cot when she was 14months, and still not walking. But that was because she threw herself around in it so much that it actually started to fall apart, and I needed it to last for her brother. She slept better once she went into a bed. But I can already tell her brother will be the opposite, and will stay in the cot for as long as possible.
At the end of the day they are all different.

DisappointedOne · 17/05/2015 23:37

I work in early years and occasionally a parent wants to keep their child a baby for as long as possible. Being independent is a big part of being two and I would say you are doing your child a dis-service by not encouraging this.

WTF????????

"Being independent is a big part of being two...."

That pretty much sums up all that is wrong with the early years approach in this country.

BillyBigchin · 17/05/2015 23:45

Mine would still be in cots now but they figured out how to get out of them before they turned two.

They're six now btw .

Tell the folk that comment that you'll take it under advisement. That's what I tell my mum when she offers me advice like that!

TowerRavenSeven · 17/05/2015 23:48

I had a friend have their dd in a cot until almost age 5. Seriously. She was a teeny tiny little girl and never tried to get out. Do what you want and ignore the rest. 2.8 for a cot IMO is nothing.

1944girl · 17/05/2015 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 18/05/2015 00:06

Meh. DS was in his cot until 3 and a lot. He liked it. We talked about big boy beds but he didn't care. One day he said yes so we whipped the sides off that night. He could get out but we had a chair next to the cot so he'd been able to get in and out safely for about 2 years.
When he chose to do it it was a smooth transition.

Pengweng · 18/05/2015 08:40

My twins are 3 in August and I have only just taken the sides off their cot beds. And i only did this as we went on holiday 2 weeks a go and they had to sleep in normal beds as one is too big for the travel cot now and it is a pain in the arse to go on holiday for a week and pack two travel cots anyway.
I will say that they had never attempted to climb out before and even though they have been FREE for a few weeks they still have not worked out that they can in fact climb out of the bed if they wanted. They call for us in the morning to get them up. I was prepared for all hell to break loose but they have been surprisingly ok just scuppered myself there
I do not think it is weird, they can stay in cot beds for ages and i guess the only reasons to remove the sides would be if they were climbing out or if they needed to be able to get up and use the toilet in the night.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 18/05/2015 08:46

I really don't get why people think keeping the sides on a cot is hindering progress?! DD will be 20 months when DC2 comes along in 7 weeks and I've had some raised eyebrows because I've decided to buy a new cot for the baby rather than rush DD into a bed and reuse the cot.
My reasons are

it's a cot bed so will last DD ages anyway
she thrashes around so much in her sleep that she would fall off at least 20 times a night
she's a light sleeper and I know if she heard us up with the baby she'd get up to see what's going on.

I'll take the sides off when she and I are both ready!

Penfold007 · 18/05/2015 08:46

My Houdini sprogs worked out how to scale the north face of their cot and escape. Putting the side down was the safest option. If you and your DS are happy it's no one else's business .

SpringTown46 · 18/05/2015 08:51

One of mine was climbing out the cot at 18 months, so had to go into a bed. But the other was still in a a cot at over 3yrs, and in our bedroom! Then, not only went into a full-size bed, but also into own bedroom, no problem. It probably helped that by then they were verbal, so could understand what was happening, and also get to choose the decor!

propelusagain · 18/05/2015 08:53

Chuck out the rules. If everyone is happy and getting good sleep then it doesn't matter.

I didn't use a cot at all- each to their own.

Sophieelmer · 18/05/2015 08:56

All the children that stayed in cots longer are they 'younger' in most ways? Particularly self care.
My dc were out of cots younger than I would have liked, due to escape skills. But also further ahead than average in selfcare. Not sure if that's because it's harder to baby them when they're not in a bed.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 18/05/2015 09:10

I don't know how being in a cot baby's them Sophie? DD gets in at night, goes to sleep, wakes up in the morning and then gets out. Otherwise she can dress herself, feed herself etc etc. What babying goes on when they're asleep?

Sophieelmer · 18/05/2015 09:28

I'm not judging smile. Really don't have much feelings about where other dc sleep! Just thought putting down to sleep in a cot for some parents might be a reminder of how young they are. My dc was out of the cot when still non verbal so memories of a cot are memories of a baby, rather than a preschooler. I have very different expectations of a baby than I do of a preschooler.
I haven't had a dc that stayed in a cot for v long so seeing this thread made me curious. I don't have an opinion

Naty1 · 18/05/2015 09:28

Dd is not behind with other self care.
At nearly 3 she is still in cot bed with sides up as she is very active and would not nap/go to bed without the sides. She needs to wind down.
As we are due dc2 soon i think the sides will stay on a bit longer as a pp said i dont want her waking up when the baby does.

crossroads15 · 18/05/2015 09:35

YANBU unreasonable. Wish I'd left my last DD in hers longer. We moved house and decided to buy her a bed. She got out up to 30 times a night for months having previously slept 7 - 7 from 11 weeks. I would have given the cot back but we had a new baby on the way at the time who was going to need it so didn't seem much point. New baby is not 18m and I plan on leaving her in it until she climbs out.

crossroads15 · 18/05/2015 09:36

*now 18m

lolbeansansalad · 18/05/2015 09:38

YANBU, DS1 had his sides on his cotbed until he was 3ish, we will keep them on for DS2 for as long as possible to keep him contained

Lweji · 18/05/2015 09:41

DS slept in a cot until he was almost 3. He is fine. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't remember it.

Nope. No need to remove cot sides until they need to traipse out to the loo at night for potty training.

Just clarifying that you can't potty "train" at night. They either wake up or they don't.

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