to be sad that I've never been hugged by another adult who loves me

[HugAMNer]

I hug my children a lot when they want hugs, however I'm sad because my childhood never involved hugs - I can't remember ever being hugged. My DH never hugs me because he's not a huggy person but I crave a hug, he won't hug me if I ask though because he hates hugs.

I guess it is hollowed out. He's fine with the DCs, yes.

OP, can you have salsa lessons? Or a massage? Or join some kind of group who meets up to build friendships- book club, PTA, sports etc?
We're not a huggy family, and my mum probably feels the same as you but gets loads of hugs from my sons.

Suggested salsa because it's hands on BTW!

As a result of this thread, I think we should all aim to hug someone extra. Not someone you'd normally hug, but a random extra hug.

Today I was waiting to be served in a shop and the elderly lady in front was all flustered trying to sort out her purse and her walking frame and her bags of shopping. She apologised for holding me up and looked really distressed. I just gave her a big hug and told her I wasn't in a hurry. She said "oh, that's lovely, thank you."

OP does your DH have Aspergers? I'm only asking as a friend of my DDs has Aspergers and is unlikely to ever be in a relationship as he can't bear anyone touching him, not even his mum or close school friends

I don't think he does, maybe he's just an a*
Sorry, feeling p'd off with him tonight.

My parents were not huggers at all. The only time my DF hugged me was when I had a miscarriage. Because of the way I was raised, I have to remember to hug my kids, which sounds really weird. DS(14) is big enough to wriggle free now, my DD (9) is mine for a few more years of hugs yet.

Can I give you a hug too [[[[]]]]]]]

I give amazing hugs (confirmed by several victims sources).

Op, if I met you I would squeeze you until you begged me to let you go. In a good way.

I hope you get your hugs very soon

Hmm. He's seen this thread. "It won't change anything, I still won't hug you"
LTB?

OP sending you a hug x
I was never hugged as a child and don't remember being shown affection. My mum had mental health problems. I am naturally a tactile person and hug my children to death. My husband was an awkward hugger when we met but he has got used to it and understands its something I need in life. Just like companionship and intimacy.
I really hope you can make progress with your chap xx

Me neither. At least somebody loves you. I've never had that either.

"He just does what he wants and goes to sleep"

Oh that's really not good. He needs to be making the effort to please you and engage with you

I don't really regard myself as a huggy person but I'll hug someone if I think they need it because they're a person, and they need it.

I'd second the suggestion for a massage. That kind of self care is important and the physical contact can be good too.

LTB?

Lack of hugs* and a poor sex life are deal breakers for me. If they're deal breakers for you and he sees no need to change, you might want to think seriously about that. How long have you been together?

• I'm not huggy with most people. I'm very huggy with partners.

(( TiggyD ))

Hope you're OK x
Everyone needs a hug at least

All the best to everyone in finding one

My mum was just not a huggy or a kissy person.I remember she kissed me when I went into hospital to have DC1 and I was absolutely gobsmacked.I am a really huggy person!!
But the great thing is it is much better to have family who love you but don't hug you than teh other way round.

Same here TiggyD, I'm totally unloved.

Same here TiggyD, I'm totally unloved.

This is so very sad.

(((((((Big Hugs))))))) to everyone who needs them.

OP the more you write about your husband the more of an arsehole he sounds. Maybe being away from him wouldn't make you feel so starved if affection?

(( AutumnFades ))
A big hug for you too x

Oh and OP. . Sending you the biggest warmest hug!

Oh my goodness . I'm a hugger, I'm sure DH and DTDs get sick of all my cuddles A hug can have the same effect as hours of conversation. A very unmumsnetty hugs to you