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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about this man in children's park

230 replies

Totality22 · 17/05/2015 18:07

To set the scene:

Park is quite big, has some open grassy areas (which is for general use - dog walking, people sitting down on grass etc..) a football pitch and a children's park which is fully fenced off and gated. Kids park has several slides, 10 swings, water fountains in summer, picnic tables - so is quite a size in itself.

It's not an overly busy park and on some days (colder weather, term time) it has been just me and DS. It's also quite isolated if no-one is in the football pitch. There is a warden but he takes care of the whole park so often isn't in the hut which is located inside the children's park.

Popped in today {as we do most days} and all was fine. It was actually quiet considering it was nice weather and a Sunday.

I let toddler have a run around and was feeding baby on bench when toddler shoots off and as I turn round to call after toddler I see some bloke has settled himself behind me and is unclothed bar a pair of shorts but even they are rolled up... They are rolled up the way people roll up clothes to catch the sun, so we're talking short shorts.

He was all happily settled on a blanket, earphones in and I am not suggesting for a second he was peeking at me feeding baby, he probably couldn't even tell that I was.

But AIBU to think it's just to the most appropriate place to sunbathe?

I toyed with reporting him but we left soon after. Should I have found the warden and let him know?

It was before Midday, not even that hot and he had the rest of the park to sunbathe in

Or an I being hysterical?

OP posts:
Aermingers · 17/05/2015 21:41

Please ensure you never go on holiday to the same place as Bobby from Towie. It will be for the best....

i.huffpost.com/gen/2099504/thumbs/o-BOBBY-NORRIS-570.jpg?5

Casimir · 17/05/2015 21:42

you are being evil

SoonToBeSix · 17/05/2015 21:47

Who is evil?

kali110 · 17/05/2015 21:51

No signs in parks like that near me!
I wouldn't have found this odd, but then i don't think there is one every corner.
My friend would probably do this. He's no perv, just terrified of dogs.
Poor bloke doesn't sound like he has done anything wrong.
No idea why you're now throwing muslims into the mix!

HelpMeTummyPain · 17/05/2015 22:18

None of the scenarios posters are plucking out of the air are comparable! Are people being deliberately obtuse?

Walking the dog, husbands or indeed anyone sitting on bench alone in park reading a book and waiting in car for people are all very normal.

Going into the fenced and gated children's playground and setting out for a topless sunbathe in between the swing and slide = very not normal! Fwiw it doesn't sound like he was waiting for someone etc. sounds like he was there to sunbathe. Which dodgy or not is still plain fucking weird!

MakeItRain · 17/05/2015 22:19

I would have found this odd too. Really strange place to sunbathe out of the whole park, whether by a man in tiny shorts or a woman in a bikini. I mean, have any of the posters having a go at you, really, in all honesty, chosen a space between the slide and swing in a fenced off children's playground to have a sunbathe???

EatingMyWords · 17/05/2015 22:31

Well oddly enough, though the 'park man' earlier was presumably taking the piss he has a point; the park I was in earlier which sounds similar in set up to the op has a kid's playground that is much more sheltered than the rest of the park so I can believe people sunbathing there for that reason.

It also has water fountains and there were kids in swimming cossies playing there despite the pretty cold wind so the temperature doesn't put some people off taking clothes off!

BarbarianMum · 17/05/2015 22:34

I love the fenced off children's bit if the park. Only place you can sit in the grass without a fuck off great dirty dog bounding over you or some out of control child on a bike riding into you.
Luckily I have children with me when I go so no one suspects me of nefarious practices Hmm

SuperFlyHigh · 17/05/2015 22:43

If he was hanging around a long time and acting strange then yes maybe I'd have reported (only because as children we saw the occasional dodgy lone man in parks lurking eg near toilets).

But I agree he could have been waiting for DC, or just wanted that spot - maybe he'd been elsewhere on park but felt uncomfortable, cold or whatever and wanted to move.

HelpMeTummyPain · 17/05/2015 22:48

I am also Hmm at all these people making out that the kids playground is the bestest and most peaceful sunbathing spot in the park.

You must all have a better class of park than me, mine is usually full of screaming children and not very conducive to having a lay down for a chill in the middle of the play equipment. Because the kids would steamroll over you and the parents would be ShockHmm

In real life anyway. Clearly not on MN Grin

SoldierBear · 17/05/2015 23:07

I've never seen a sign forbidding adults without children.
The park at the bottom of my street is often used by a young adult with learning disabilities and gets great pleasure from being pushed on the swing. Should she be denied that?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/05/2015 23:15

It probably is odd behaviour, but odd and dangerous are not synonymous.

chippednailvarnish · 17/05/2015 23:19

I am also hmm at all these people making out that the kids playground is the bestest and most peaceful sunbathing spot in the park

You missed out "Dog shit free".

HelpMeTummyPain · 17/05/2015 23:22

Grin chipped

And again, a young adult with learning disabilities USING the play equipment is nothing like a comparison!

emmelinelucas · 17/05/2015 23:24

This thread makes me Confused
I have never seen a sign saying "No unaccompanied adults", or anything like that.
So - "adults" must include women as well.
It doesn't does it ? it really means men.

WorraLiberty · 17/05/2015 23:34

What a lot of people are failing to take into account is that the OP fucked off with her kids when he settled himself down to sunbathe.

If she'd hung around, she might well have seen his wife and kids turn up having been to the toilet/to buy an ice cream.

And this would have been a complete non story.

Not that it isn't anyway...

Dr0pThePirate · 17/05/2015 23:37

I too think this is odd behaviour but I'd like to offer a theory to explain this man's actions that absolves him of pedophilia whilst simultaneously confirming the OP was right to find his sunbathing unusual:

The man was a foreigner. Most likely European.

You see these folk are keen on sunbathing wherever and whenever they can. They are also likey to be unaware of the strict British protocols regarding parks/children/grass/bare flesh etc.

Also, the short shorts confirms this.

DixieNormas · 17/05/2015 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangeVase · 18/05/2015 00:06

Exactly - the fenced off bit bans dogs, footballs and kids on bikes.

It tends to be used by smaller children accompanied by mums/carers so by far the nicest bit to sit /sunbathe in peace.

If you do lie out on the big, open grassy area the chances are you WILL find yourself in the middle of a football game or being licked by a dog befoer ten minutes is up.

nocoolnamesleft · 18/05/2015 00:28

As a matter of interest, are there any other areas in the park that are fenced off from dogs, so that you don't find yourself sitting/lying in dogshit? If there are, then it is indeed rather odd. If not...rather more understandable.

It is, after all, deeply unpleasant to discover that as you lie on your blanket it goes "squelch".

partialderivative · 18/05/2015 00:43

So there should be a sign saying 'Only normal males allowed to lie on the grass'

Aermingers · 18/05/2015 00:59

If he was some kind of pervert then surely short shorts would be the last thing he should wear?

Because they wouldn't be very good at hiding it if he was, er, getting excited. There's a reason why the dirty mac brigade wear macs.

Original poster
Totality22 · 18/05/2015 07:56

Worra, you're very sweary and angry about this? Rather disproportionately so I'd say.

OP posts:
Original poster
Totality22 · 18/05/2015 08:06

Just to clarify a few things

  • yes the rest of the park is open to dogs but its not a massively busy park
  • when we have picnics we tend to sit in open park of park (usually as picnic means its warm and kids park is busy so not great for a chilled out picnic)
  • whole park is looked after by a full time warden - the warden's hut is in kids park but he is responsible for whole park and isn't always in kids park. As a result the main park seems dog shit free. We have certainly never encountered any dog mess.
  • I never said man was a pervert. I said his place of choice to sunbathe was odd
  • poster up thread who claimed to be park man 'confirmed' he wasn't waiting for anyone.

Anyway I see the error of my ways and of course the kids park is the only suitable place to sunbathe!!! In future I'll make sure I keep the kids quiet so lone grown ups can sunbathe in peace and tranquillity in the middle of the kids park.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 18/05/2015 08:13

I never said man was a pervert. I said his place of choice to sunbathe was odd

You were considering reporting him. What was his offence if you didn't think he was a pervert?

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