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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about this man in children's park

230 replies

Totality22 · 17/05/2015 18:07

To set the scene:

Park is quite big, has some open grassy areas (which is for general use - dog walking, people sitting down on grass etc..) a football pitch and a children's park which is fully fenced off and gated. Kids park has several slides, 10 swings, water fountains in summer, picnic tables - so is quite a size in itself.

It's not an overly busy park and on some days (colder weather, term time) it has been just me and DS. It's also quite isolated if no-one is in the football pitch. There is a warden but he takes care of the whole park so often isn't in the hut which is located inside the children's park.

Popped in today {as we do most days} and all was fine. It was actually quiet considering it was nice weather and a Sunday.

I let toddler have a run around and was feeding baby on bench when toddler shoots off and as I turn round to call after toddler I see some bloke has settled himself behind me and is unclothed bar a pair of shorts but even they are rolled up... They are rolled up the way people roll up clothes to catch the sun, so we're talking short shorts.

He was all happily settled on a blanket, earphones in and I am not suggesting for a second he was peeking at me feeding baby, he probably couldn't even tell that I was.

But AIBU to think it's just to the most appropriate place to sunbathe?

I toyed with reporting him but we left soon after. Should I have found the warden and let him know?

It was before Midday, not even that hot and he had the rest of the park to sunbathe in

Or an I being hysterical?

OP posts:
WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 20:57

Also to further fuel this thread and probably get loads more shit the only other people in the park when I left was a boy and his mum who was wearing a burkha... so if I had an issue with this guys modesty I wonder what this other mum made of it?*

Surely it's none of her business what anyone else wears, just as it's no one's business what she wears?

Aermingers · 17/05/2015 20:58

So now not only is he a paedophile he's also offending Muslims? Fucking hell. Poor bloke, he just wanted to get a bit of colour on his legs and he'll end up being chased by pitchfork wavers and having a fatwa put on him.

donemekmelarf · 17/05/2015 20:59

I would have gone to find the warden

Good luck on that one.
Do Parkies even exist these days? Hmm

amarmai · 17/05/2015 21:04

strange that the repeated attackers of the op show no concern for children - this totally convinces me that your instincts are correct op.

Original poster
Totality22 · 17/05/2015 21:04

This park has a warden. His hut was open and I saw him when I arrived.

Mentioned the burkha woman as I understand it's worn for modesty? Although I'm probably wrong.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 17/05/2015 21:05

so if I had an issue with this guys modesty I wonder what this other mum made of it?

Who gives a fuck what she made of it?

Men are allowed to remove their tops in the park.

This thread just keeps on giving...

chippednailvarnish · 17/05/2015 21:08

Yes won't somebody think of the children and the sensibilities of the burka wearer and their poor eyes being exposed to short shorts.

Schmoozer · 17/05/2015 21:10

YANBU

Sounds Dodgy to me, can't BELEIVE the reactions you have had from so many clowns on here.
Trust your instinct OP, the bloke sounds ODD

treaclesoda · 17/05/2015 21:11

I also have never seen a park or playground that specifies no adults in kids areas. I thought that was one of those hysterical things made up by the Daily Mail, it never occurred to me that they might actually exist.

But...having said all that, I think on balance I would find it very strange to see a man lying sunbathing between a slide and a swing as the OP describes. It's not that I'd assume he was sinister (unless of course he was acting in a way that did seem sinister) it's just that I'd be thinking 'why there? Can't be very restful'.

On the other hand, I'd really need to see the park. If it is the spot that gets the most sun then...

ghostyslovesheep · 17/05/2015 21:12

this thread has everything - it's epic Grin

BigChocFrenzy · 17/05/2015 21:14

If unaccompanied adults are banned, there would be a sign. Since you haven't mentioned a sign, I presume there isn't one.

He's not staring or taking photos, just listening to his headphones.
He's entitled to wear his naff shorts and goose pimples; the woman is entitled to her burkha; you are entitled to wear your pearls, to clutch hard.

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/05/2015 21:15

OP, following your post at 20:51, I think you're bonkers as well as unreasonable.Shock

Perhaps you should focus on you and your DC's time together, rather than trying to read the minds of the other people in the park.

donemekmelarf · 17/05/2015 21:16

Who would be a man in this day and age? Sad

BigChocFrenzy · 17/05/2015 21:17

Dog shit is often invisible until you walk on it or lean back on it with bare skin. The kids area, having a warden, probably doesn't have broken glass or syringes to lie on, either.

Bair · 17/05/2015 21:19

Mentioned the burkha woman as I understand it's worn for modesty?

Yep, hers. She wears what she like and others wear what they like.

Like these chap sporting the 'half speedo', I assume you switch sides for a nice even tan.

donemekmelarf · 17/05/2015 21:22

To set the scene:

I catch the bus to and from work. Very often my husband will wait in the car, opposite the bus stop, so he can give me a lift home.
He tries to get there early (to get a space near enough).
Sometimes he reads a book, sometimes he sits and looks around and I'm sure that sometimes often he has a doze whilst waiting.

The place he parks is right next to a park with shock horror a children's play area.
I hope people aren't looking at him and thinking Lone Man Near Park! Must be up to no good!
God forbid he should happen to look in the general direction of the play area!

GatoradeMeBitch · 17/05/2015 21:22

Sometimes intuition plays a big part in these things, and you are never going to be able to accurately explain the situation to people sitting at home on their sofas.

But it is possible there was an entirely innocent explanation. If he was only in rolled up shorts perhaps he was trying to get vitamin d exposure. Maybe he wanted to be in a public area instead of an isolated part of the park where people might have been more worried. Chances are he had nothing more in his mind but soaking up some sun.

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 21:25

This chap who popped up (so to speak) to say that it was him, was that for real? Was it actually him? Did he decide to just pop onto MN to see if the lady who had been looking at him in the park had happened to start an AIBU about it? Or did I miss a page or something? (And is he Will Smith?)

Hey, maybe burkha mum will be along soon to confirm whether she was/was not offended by his lack of modesty.

MurkyMinotaur · 17/05/2015 21:27

It does depend on the context to some extent but it's also worth remembering that it can be really hard to enjoy a park when you haven't got a child nor a dog or a bunch of friends to lark about with or basically any other qualifier that you're there for a non-sex-based reason.

It almost seems as though our society expects that your reason to be in a playground must be obvious and fit within a narrow parameter or else it's suspect. But you can be that 'lone' adult because you haven't got a way not to be! Maybe you like being outside, seeing springtime, having some sunlight and relaxing...or you actually really like swings and you're waiting for your turn! Children don't have a monopoly on open honest fun, after all! Smile

Goldenbear · 17/05/2015 21:33

I don't understand the 'sock' comment?

If you haven't seen the no adults without accompanying children signs - 'so what'?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/05/2015 21:34

Totality - you said you don't think the man was a pervert - so what was your concern about him being there?

Schmoozer - there is no need to call people names because they don't share your point of view.

DixieNormas · 17/05/2015 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrawberryMojito · 17/05/2015 21:39

I'm with you OP, it sounds weird. I'm not saying I would have done anything about it but I wouldnt have hung around.

All the parks local to me have gated kids play areas within them. Normal people do not choose to take off most of their clothes to have a lie down in these areas.

Lovecat · 17/05/2015 21:40

Is this park in Islington, by any chance? If it's the one I'm thinking of then YANBaltogetherU, as you have to walk through the entire park and through a gated entrance in the far corner of the park to get into the kids' area, passing the warden's hut as you do so. It's not somewhere you'd just happen upon and think, ooh, nice place to sunbathe, you'd have to deliberately make for it. If I and DC were the only other person around I'd be slightly weirded out by it.

But then I think if I was on my own with a child in an isolated part of any park and a random man turned up and hung around, it might make me feel uneasy. Not the man's fault, but given past experiences I would probably leave fairly swiftly as well.

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 21:40

If you haven't seen the no adults without accompanying children signs - 'so what'?

The 'what' is that those who haven't seen them are contesting the view that they are present on most/all children 's play areas. It appears that their presence, or not, differs according to local authority.