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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about this man in children's park

230 replies

Totality22 · 17/05/2015 18:07

To set the scene:

Park is quite big, has some open grassy areas (which is for general use - dog walking, people sitting down on grass etc..) a football pitch and a children's park which is fully fenced off and gated. Kids park has several slides, 10 swings, water fountains in summer, picnic tables - so is quite a size in itself.

It's not an overly busy park and on some days (colder weather, term time) it has been just me and DS. It's also quite isolated if no-one is in the football pitch. There is a warden but he takes care of the whole park so often isn't in the hut which is located inside the children's park.

Popped in today {as we do most days} and all was fine. It was actually quiet considering it was nice weather and a Sunday.

I let toddler have a run around and was feeding baby on bench when toddler shoots off and as I turn round to call after toddler I see some bloke has settled himself behind me and is unclothed bar a pair of shorts but even they are rolled up... They are rolled up the way people roll up clothes to catch the sun, so we're talking short shorts.

He was all happily settled on a blanket, earphones in and I am not suggesting for a second he was peeking at me feeding baby, he probably couldn't even tell that I was.

But AIBU to think it's just to the most appropriate place to sunbathe?

I toyed with reporting him but we left soon after. Should I have found the warden and let him know?

It was before Midday, not even that hot and he had the rest of the park to sunbathe in

Or an I being hysterical?

OP posts:

Tiptops · 17/05/2015 19:38

I agree with PP that reporting him would have been ridiculous - what for?

But, it is odd.

Agree with KillmeNow , easy to mock the OP but in her shoes I too would find it strange and unnerving, especially in an isolated part of the park.

littlehouseinthebigwoods · 17/05/2015 19:43

I would have felt very uncomfortable too op, although clearly I'm in the minority! You seem to have picked the rough crowd for your aibu!!

DioneTheDiabolist · 17/05/2015 19:43

If I wanted to lie in peace, without dogs (and their poo) bothering me, I would go to the fenced off area. Particularly if there were no children in it at the time.

YABU OP.

CocktailQueen · 17/05/2015 19:47

Love that, worra!

I too think it's a bit odd to choose to sit in the kids' park - if I had no kids with me, I wouldn't sit there... - but maybe it's the warmest/most sheltered place in the park, or maybe he was meeting his dc there later....

Yabu.

partialderivative · 17/05/2015 19:51

What a coincidence that the very man I saw uses MN. Small world.

Who was that comment aimed at?

Pagwatch · 17/05/2015 19:54

I think the op aimed that at ramanoop - who claimed up thread to be shorts bloke. And I then highlighted it. And others have asked him questions.

It's all there ^

MehsMum · 17/05/2015 19:55

I dimly know a bloke who does research into children and childhood. He is not a paedophile: he has a happy relationship, gets on well with his colleagues, etc etc. Given the work he does, he must have had been police checked to within an inch of his life. In his younger days, off he trotted to the park with a notepad and pen, to sit on a bench and record - God, I don't know what, which order children used the equipment in, how they interacted, what got most use, dunno.

Somebody reported him for acting suspiciously around children. Sitting on bench, where he could see them, writing in a notebook. He hadn't approached anyone, he didn't have a camera, but being male and within 10yds of kids is apparently enough.

If I saw someone sunbathing in the children's play park, I'd probably think it was a touch odd, but I'd also be inclined to assume that there was an innocent explanation. Avoiding dogs/dog poo/stray footballs, or just waiting for someone who had children.

ilovesooty · 17/05/2015 19:55

partial someone posted upthread saying they might have been the man in question.

FromSeaToShining · 17/05/2015 19:59

This thread is equal parts hilarious and sad. And having read a few bonkers threads here, I would say that some MNers should never, ever trust their instincts.

My DH often walks the dog via a small park. He usually stops in the park for a bit in nice weather, to read and just enjoy the sunshine. Quite often there are children playing in the park. It would make me very sad indeed if anyone reported him for having the audacity to be in a park where children happen to be.

Original poster

Totality22 · 17/05/2015 20:04

Fenced off and gated designated children's park is not the same as a park with children around.

The latter I'd not have batted an eyelid at seeing a bloke sunbathing in very little clothing.

OP posts:

pearpotter · 17/05/2015 20:06

Quite. People need to RTFT. RTFOP even, would be a start. And also back down when they are clearly wrong because they haven't read it properly.

amarmai · 17/05/2015 20:07

YANBU op and yes listen to your instinct and yes speak to the warden - better safe than sorry. There was a thread a month or so ago where the same kind of pile on happened re the same kind of concerns. Disturbing.

londonrach · 17/05/2015 20:10

Yabu but im sure you know that. Dh and i have just gone for a walk without a dog (we dont have one so slight problem there). Was i casing the joint looking into other peoples houses? ( yes but only as looking for places to buy).

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 20:11

Not exactly on topic, but the OP's inclusion of {as we do most days} in curly brackets as some sort of confidential aside has amused me greatly.

Anyhoo, back on topic ....

Icimoi · 17/05/2015 20:13

YANBU. Most children's play areas have a sign that says NO ADULTS, unless accompanied by a child.

No they don't. Not least because it would be impossible to police.

Original poster

Totality22 · 17/05/2015 20:13

Does curly brackets mean something then?

OP posts:

SoonToBeSix · 17/05/2015 20:15

I would be interested to know if it it's the same guy

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 20:17

Not that I know of, Totality, it just tickled me. I'm not sure why that detail was different, as all your other 'asides' were in normal parentheses, but it made me imagine you saying it in a Les Dawson-esque sotto voce. Was there a reason why "{as we do most days}" got its own special kind of brackets?

Original poster

Totality22 · 17/05/2015 20:17

He said it was him. I'd prefer for reasons of anonymity to not explore it any further.

OP posts:

ScarlettDarling · 17/05/2015 20:18

Op...I completely agree that it's a bit odd for a lone male to choose the children's playground to sunbathe in, when he had the rest of a large park to choose from.

Yes...he may have been waiting for his kids or friends but the op saw no evidence of this, so she's certainly not being unreasonable to feel uneasy. It's a pretty odd choice for a man on his own imo.

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 20:18

YANBU. Most children's play areas have a sign that says NO ADULTS, unless accompanied by a child.

Most? I've never seen that anywhere.

YellowLemons · 17/05/2015 20:21

Sorry you're getting a hard time OP. I would have found it unnerving too.

Most of the playgrounds we go to have signs that say something like:

'No children unaccompanied by adults. No adults unaccompanied by children.'

NobbyNobs · 17/05/2015 20:22

This him?

RubieWoo · 17/05/2015 20:22

No they don't. Not least because it would be impossible to police.

Excuse me, but every park I have been to, this has been the case. Just like there are signs that say NO DOGS.

TenerifeSea · 17/05/2015 20:23

Your child is far more likely to be molested by someone known to them than a random man in the park. I know it's unsavoury to think that Uncle Paul might be a paedophile but we need to properly protect our children and not solely focus on the scary stranger.

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