AIBU to think women who are pregnant should at least have an inkling?

[Mummybear8]

I've just seen a post pop up on my FB newsfeed about a woman who has JUST found out she's 8 months pregnant and DID NOT KNOW! I saw a picture of this woman, who looked very obviously pregnant (she was fairly slim except for a huge baby bump...) and I'm thinking; "how on earth, as a woman, did you not come to the conclusion you were pregnant?"

I'm not saying women should know the second the winning sperm arrives and penetrates the ovum (I am equally suspect of these women that "just knew" in the millisecond they created a new life) but surely there's some middle ground between that and 37 odd weeks gone?

I can understand how some women in exceptional circumstances or in their first pregnancies take a while to find out, for example those who continue to have a regular bleed whilst pregnant or those who don't seem to show until very suddenly nearer the middle/end, but seriously? Can't you feel it moving?! I am almost 23 weeks pregnant and have been told I have an anterior placenta and I can still, very distinctly, feel a good kick!

I am especially suspicious of those on their subsequent pregnancies that "just" go into labour all of a sudden with no warning or previous knowledge of this miraculous and totally unexpected pregnancy.
So, AIBU to think that if you know how babies are made, how do you NOT know you've made, and are carrying, a baby?
I am intrigued to hear others stories/opinions...

I'm a size 8 and didn't show with my 1st until the end, and people thought I was joking when I said I was 8 months. I'm currently 16 weeks with my 2nd and despite everyone saying you're massive with your second there's still nothing to see. If going on bump alone with no other symptoms I don't think I'd realise until the third trimester. I always get very sick though and have regular cycles

I think it happens on very rare occasions, but I think 90% don't speak up until they are past the abortion limit so it's not an option.

Long time lurker first time poster!

This happened to me. I found out when I was 28 weeks. I'm 5 ft 9 size 8/10 I went running every morning and then went to work a 12 hour physical job, I gained no weight. I was on the pill and was as regular as clock work. I was not in any type of denial and she was a welcome addition.

When I was waiting at the maternity ward doors at 39 weeks about to give birth a young girl making small talk wouldn't believe I was full term.

YABU

I rarely felt movements in any of my pregnancies. I have a tilted uterus and the placenta was at the front masking any kicks.

I've often wondered too

I rarely felt any movements in any of my pregnancies. And I regularly feel 'movements' now that I am most certainly NOT pregnant

Our Sunday school teacher was a larger lady. She left Sunday school very suddenly one week complaining of awful stomach cramps. Some members of the congregation had to come and look after us. One of the lady's said "I think she's having a baby" and I still remember her crying "don't be ridiculous I'm not pregnant"

Next day we heard she had had a baby boy.

He was jess in our nativity and being Mary I was allowed to hold him

Jesus. .. who on earth is Jess?

My mum didn't know with me until 6 months and she was a midwife! She was on the pill so still had monthly 'bleed'.

I've had quite asymptomatic pregnancies, barely a bump with dc1 so I can see how it could happen.

YABU

I was 22 weeks when I found out with ds1 and a friend was dancing on the night she went into labour, had a brilliant figure and had no idea at all.
She left the stage complained about stomach cramps, they didn't improve, called for an ambulance and she just made it in time for 3 pushes and her dd was born.

My mom was being treated for a pretty grim bowel infection. And here i am :) loverly story to think thats what I was classed as for my first 6months in the womb. I think in some cases doctors are alot to blame. Although my dear nan went for hystarectamy at the ripe age of 67 and they asked her if she could be preggers! Cue me and my nan pissing ourselves laughing

I had the most enormous bump both times with my pregnancies, the second time around I was showing by 12 weeks

I do remember a lady at antenatal classes who was 7/8 months pregnant and just looked like she was a bit bloated eg after Xmas dinner, I couldn't believe how slim age was. Taking this into account and the fact that some people don't feel the baby moving (or put it down to other causes) I guess it does happen.

It must be awful to go into labour and not know you're having a baby.

Ms Dragons, Your friend actually knew she was pregnant the idiot Doctors kept telling her she wasn't so she wasn't clueless or in denial she was right all along.

It is not true that periods can continue during pregnancy, the womb lining shedding each month only happens if there is no implantation of an embryo, once a placenta develops the uterine lining does not continue to grow and shed.The pill prevents ovulation and sheds once a month but this also stops once pregnancy is established by 8 - 10 weeks, Any bleeding past this point is of concern. I do not know how ANY one could Not Know they were pregnant, Even if you had no morning sickness, no weight gain (the average baby weighs 3 - 4 kilos so you would have to gain at least that plus amniotic sack, 6 kilos or so {15 lbs}) and were oblivious to the babies movements, lack of periods, hormonal mood swings,brain numbing tiredness, distended breasts, and other physical changes of pregnancy, the sheer discomfort of having a giant watermelon sized lump displacing your internal organs should be a bit of a give away, I've had 4 kids and knew almost immediately that I was pregnant every time, I never say never but I find it almost impossible to believe that a woman could be pregnant & not know, there would have to be an enormous amount of denial going on there.

Not everyone gets these symptoms though.
I was 18 weeks before I knew I was pregnant.

Apart from the no sickness, I didn't have hormonal mood swings, no tiredness, no swollen breasts.

I'm pregnant right now with an unplanned and unexpected baby. It's my third baby as well, yet I had no idea I was pregnant for almost half of the pregnancy.

I missed a period and felt sick so I took a pregnancy test which was positive. Two days later I took another two tests which were both negative. Having had two previous miscarriages (this is pregnancy number five in fact) and having had a strange bleed before the missed period I assumed I'd had an early miscarriage. Went to the drs a few weeks later and she tested me again which again came back negative.

Felt a bit under the weather the next month and had some spotting, all consistent with post miscarriage symptoms in my experience. Two months later I went back to the drs as I was still feeling so run down. She did a pregnancy test and that immediately came up positive. I assumed I'd gotten pregnant again and was very cross with myself for that. Went along to BPAS a few days after the pos test at the drs and they scanned me. I expected to be a few weeks pg so very early but they put me over 16 weeks. I decided to keep the baby due to the fact that it was further along, so back to the drs, and later to a scan which put me at 20 weeks exactly.

So yes, I had had an idea I was pregnant right at the start, which wS corroborated by the pos test. Then I had those three neg tests when in fact I was pregnant which obviously threw me. I didn't put on weight, nor did I feel any movement. However a week after the scan was when I felt her move and within a month I had a definite bump, so I would have had clues, probably, had in still not known.

In conclusion to my rather long essay (sorry!) it is absolutely possible to not know you are pregnant, even in subsequent pregnancies. Therefore OP YABU.

So Callie, all the women who have had break through bleeding in pregnancy are making it up are they?
Your experience of pregnancy is not always going to be the same as other people's.

I'm glad you said 'almost impossible to believe' Callie cos I'm sure my colleague would rather not have PTSD brought in by an unknown pregnancy. Maybe I should tell her she's lying.

Everyone's experience is different - similarities but ultimately different.

I had been diagnosed with very large fibroids and had been told I was very unlikely to get pregnant so contraception was a waste of time, or if I did every get pregnant I was unlikely to carry a baby to full term. I was, obviously upset by this and put down the irregular bleeding I had for a couple of months after that to the upset. I was due to have my wisdom teeth out under GA and at the pre-op appointment was asked if I could be pregnant. I explained what I had been told and that I'd had irregular bleeding. They said I should go to the medical centre and bring a note saying I definitely wasn't pregnant just to be sure. I went to the medical centre, the test came up positive, they cancelled the wisdom teeth op and gave me my first ante-natal appointment date. I had had no idea - no feeling sick, no symptoms at all other than, looking back, I felt very hungry. I had been out moving flagstones the day before the pregnancy test as we had a mole tunneling under them. Not only did I carry DS to full term (after some further initial bleeding) he was induced when I was a week overdue.

I had no symptoms at all. At all. I'm already overweight. I can go 12 months without a period. My ds was born at 32 weeks and he didn't move really at all.

I knew I was pregnant because I was actively trying but if I hadn't been, I would have been that woman who didn't know and then a baby popped out.

Don't know how you could not know at full term, but can understand up to 26 weeks or so. At 28 weeks a good friend asked me if i'd lost weight. I then told her i was pregnant (i hadn't told anyone till then because the year before at 20 weeks pregnant i'd lost a baby i was carrying) I knew, but no one else had any idea as i didn't show at all - 3rd pregnancy, 2nd child and thatms after the first one where i showed big time... And the first was tiny and my other one was a much bigger weight. But full term... No way unless you are very big, placenta is blocking kicks and maybe slight denial?

I had a customer at work who had a baby in the toilet without a clue she was pregnant. I could believe it in her case, she was a heroin addict who didn't have a clue what day of the week it was most of the time. SS took the baby into care, I think of that poor baby often and hope she got a decent chance in life after her horrendous start.

Callie, I found out at 37 weeks. At that point I was over 2st lighter than I'd been a year previously. In hindsight, I'd had a period of feeling rough and tired, but I was working a 15 hour day most days and out at night being 23, so I just put it down to that. I had no kicking feelings. No back pain. No bump. I bled every month when I stopped taking my pill for the week, it just wasn't on my radar at all. None of my pregnancies have been massively hard physically speaking, I never got a huge bump even with dc3.

Yanbu. I always find this ridiculous and is almost certainly denial in many cases

I was nearly three months when I found out with ds2. I had no symptoms and had pcos, I had no idea and was shocked. I managed to hide it bump wise completely till around 5 months when I exploded.

Friend mine was the same.

Another friend was one that found out in labour. She didn't have a clue. No signs no symptoms no idea. That was 14 years ago, very obvious with consequent babies but that first was a complete suprise