To take pride in my stinky farts?

[kellwells]

Ok, so I apologize for the TMI, but I have ALWAYS been a super smelly farter. It runs in my family. My mum has the stinkiest farts ever and so do me and my sister. I know it isn't an intolerance, and I do all the things that have been suggested to minimize it, but it's just the way I'm made.

When I was younger I was embarrassed by it, but then I decided that if I can't help it then I shouldn't be ashamed. So now I take pride in the fact that I can stink DH out of a room even though he's a big burly bloke and I'm little petite me. Even when he loads up on Guinness and pub food he can't compete with my stink. The best part is that mine are almost always silent so I will slip them out without him noticing and then laugh like crazy when it hits him.

So, I have to ask, is anyone else like this??

So who knew THIS would be such a divisive topic! ?

fanny farts - now if you can do one of those bad boys made to order I'll wing a blue Peter badge over to you!

I save my farts up in work all day, one of my favourite parts of the day is getting into my car in the carpark and letting rip, I don't even open the window.

God help any policeman if they stopped me and I wound the window down, probably knock them dead .

OP thanks for giving me a real belly laugh tonight, respect to you, you can't hold what's not in yer hand!

Get a bloody life! It's a bodily function, everyone does it.

Farting, picking noses, burping are all bodily functions. Doesn't mean you should be doing it in front of people all the time.

That's just grim.

I was brought up proper

I'm dead posh me and I still guff

I wouldn't leave him over 1 fart if he really had to but I'd consider it respectful to do it in another room .. If he consistently farted, stinking the place out, thinking it was funny even if I told him I found it disrespectful then I would have to consider whether the relationship was what I wanted with someone who disrespected my feelings yes.

I hate it and like an earlier poster I also feel a bit violated. It's absolutely disgusting to force it on others. I mean, do you fart away in front of office colleagues for example?

Quite easy to be discreet!

donemekmelarf I agree. Just because I have an intimate relationship with someone doesn't mean I want to share all bodily functions.

Farting, picking noses, burping are all bodily functions* of course. I don't leave my used sanitary towels lying about the bathroom, apply my pile cream ( when I was pregnant).
I don't want to share the sight of my OH or him me cutting our toenails, squeezing spots or wiping shit off his arse.

Or are all these things eye wateringly hilarious and I have no sense of humour?

Firstly I am jealous of your bottom farting as mine has been sewn up :( BUT my stoma makes the most horrific farty noises with no warning (it's so bad that I tell my classes that I have a bag so we can all laugh together) :D

Oh I belch all the time. It shows you've enjoyed your food.

"You think it's funny, but I bet your husband is secretly turned off by it.
Hope we don't see you on the Relationships board a couple of years down the line."

I think that's a really mean thing to say. You should let rip once in a while.

And I'm far from uptight or prudish - I have a great sense of humour if I do say so myself , pretty easygoing and I'm very open-minded in the bedroom and no problem with other bodily functions..

But polluting the air I breathe with disgusting, stinking farts is just not on!

It's bad enough trying to keep the romance alive with your partner as it is, especially when you have both have to work long hours and have young children and all the financial worries of running a home .
So, why risk jepoardizing things by doing disgusting things in front of them as well?

I'm all for having a laugh and the occasional fart IS funny, but to do it all the time and take pride in how much they stink.
Yuck.

Farting, picking noses, burping are all bodily functions of course. I don't leave my used sanitary towels lying about the bathroom, apply my pile cream ( when I was pregnant).
I don't want to share the sight of my OH or him me cutting our toenails, squeezing spots or wiping shit off his arse.*

One might not want to do those things but when you have been married for a very long time they sometimes become necessary. I can't cut my toenails any more (prolapsed disc). If I couldn't afford to have pedicures my DH would have to do it. He had on occasion had to pull my knickers up for me and help me with my tights. If I had to wipe him bottom, I would, because I love him.

Oh I agree, but to do so though choice because it's hilarious?

Farting is occasionally quite amusing. The odd pull my finger has taken place in our house ( dh's finger not mine!) Of course I fart in front of my husband. He is my husband, he's seen me at my worst. A lot worse than passing wind! And its my home. Im not going upstairs just to fart! Unless we have guests obvs.

I'm not spitting tea or pissing myself laughing though. Its funny in passing, every so often, not every day. Not hilarious and not thread worthy imo. Just yoy know, a fart...

The best is walking and trumping in time! I have yet to achieve this but my Gran was brilluant at it

Brilliant! I dont like mrs browns boys and draw the line at mealtimes etc. i used to be quite uptight about it but having 2 boys 2 dogs n a dp. Got to be able to contribute! The best really are if in another room and the non farter thinks you have said something!

Dd 7yr can fart to command. I don't know how she does it. She takes great pleasure in pointing her bum at us and letting one rip

Alchemist YY to the artichokes! I don't eat the fuckers myself but DH overloaded on artichoke pie in Italy once. He had to sleep with a brick tied round his neck and all the windows open. I've never heard the like of it and by the morning he was all deflated and wizzened!!
I bloody love this thread!

Hilarious.

bensam- but she is 7.

You seem to be teaching her good habits.

Well you can't be that disgusted happy else you wouldn't be hanging on every new post!