Ridiculous demands from theatre group

[nameyname]

Name changed as I think this might me identifiable! DDs are in a theatre group which does a show with adults and kids each year (Oliver type of thing). Middle dd has been doing it for four years, youngest started this year and older dd auditioned every year but not been in it before this year as she has never been offered a main part before.

They are expected to rehearse for two hours every week but older dd has a role that means she is not in a group with the other children but in different scenes so she has to go to extra rehearsals on a different night and attend the main rehearsal where she is often hanging about for ages to do her but as they insist on running it in order rather than letting her do her bits and go home. She doesn't really mind but is really irritated by the fact that the adults who aren't involved with a scene are often invited by the director to comment on what they've just seen but she is never allowed to offer an opinion.

She came back last night from rehearsal really fuming because director told her off for not having learnt all her lines yet and made her feel bad because she couldn't do it off by heart yet, I know they need to learn lines but the show is still a month away so she's got ages to prepare.

The other thing that is really annoying me is that they are expected to provide costumes which are going to cost me a fortune for three kids, this is supposed to be a free activity but in reality it's going to cost me over £100 by the time I've bought costumes and tickets.

So the question is wibu to have a word with the director to point out that this sort of thing is supposed to be fun but her attitude is sucking all the joy out of it for my family, specially dd1?

What specifically is "sucking the joy out of it for your family"?
Being expected to rehearse for two hours per week? Perfectly normal.
Providing own costumes? Did you know before your children auditioned?
Your dd1's opinion not being sought?? She's only just started... That's fairly diva like behaviour, isn't it
They will probably suggest you withdraw your children if any of the above remain a problem for you.

Ewell yes it is supposed to be fun but it's also supposed to be a show put on for an audience. The audience are going to expect everyone to know their lines and have the proper costumes.
If you or your children don't want to fully commit then they shouldn't.
Obviously it's s bit daft if the Director thinks he's Woody Allen and is being totally over the top about it but I have exprince of such groups and people give a lot of time and effort ( and sometimes money) to them and the show HAS to be good at the end of it.

YABU

I'd be fuming if my cast hadn't learned their lines a month before show date.

It's normal in am dram for the cast to pay for their own costumes - who do you think should be paying if not you?

The director often asks experienced adults about a scene and probably wouldn't ask a child.

If you have a word it could well be the last time any of your DCs are cast.

2 hours a week sounds ok

"where she is often hanging about for ages to do her but as they insist on running it in order rather than letting her do her bits and go home."

Why should she be the one who is allowed to "do her bits and go home"? Surely 'doing it in order' is the best way to rehearse the whole thing?

I think you have massively underestimated the commitment needed by everyone to ensure this is a success. YABVU and a diva.

YABU. What is ridiculous about asking that cast know their lines a month in advance? Or that you have to make a contribution towards the costumes?

And as for your daughter being irritated because she is not allowed comment on other people's performances, but the adults are? Sorry, but she sounds like she needs taking down a peg or two.

I am on the production team and musical director for both adult and youth theatre companies. Why isn't she learning her lines when she's sitting there? With a month to go she should have learnt them by now. There's always a degree of sitting around-it happens to me when there's a lot of acting or dancing going on in a rehearsal that I'm not involved in. But you suck it up and play candy crush/MN/Facebook etc.

Perhaps she could learn her lines whilst hanging around for ages....

BTW acting involves A LOT of sitting around. It's not just the thrill of the show.

2 hours a week is nothing in rehearsal terms. And in the nicest possible way, she's an inexperienced (by your own admission) child. They are not going to seek her opinion. She is there to learn. Being a diva at this stage will not help.

Sorry but I think YABU

You don't say how old your DDs are but that doesn't sound like an outrageous amount of rehearsal time. When my DD was at schoold they put on a school musicl most years and that is certainly in line with the amount of time the principals were expected to put in every week.

If the drector thought she should have learned her lines by now she is probably right. After all, it is not so much a case of saying the lines but the acting, timing and anything else she needs to know. Remembering the words is probably the least of it. If she can't commit to a bit of effort to learn her lines there are no doubt other children in the group who would.

Yes it is an expense but you chose to have all three children in the group - did you not know beforehand that costumes might be required?

Yabu.

Two hours a week is surely a normal amount to rehearse.

She should have learnt her lines. Surely the whole process would be even slower if nobody knows their lines.

Why should they organise the rehearsal schedule around your dd? I could understand it if she were a surgeon who had to race back to perform an operation.

In any production it is very important that the cast know their parts as soon as possible. You can't rehearse properly with people reading their lines. If everyone else knows their part I can see why the director was unhappy about your DD. I'm also wondering who you think should pay for the costumes, OP?

However, in relation to everyone saying 2 hours a week is reasonable, it looks to me as if OP is saying her DD is in fact doing a lot more than tht.

Surely part of the learning process is sitting around watching others rehearse and listening to the critiques they receive. If your daughter doesn't want to do that and doesn't want to learn her lines well in advance, or have experienced adults commenting on her scenes, maybe she's just not that interested and should be doing something else?

She didn't participate before because she wasn't offered a main role? Yet is 'fuming' that her opinions weren't sought at rehearsal? Op, I don't think this activity is suitable for your dd.

If it's a free activity, where did you think the money for costumes would be coming from?

This is surely a wind-up?

If not, I feel truly sorry for the director.

DS1 has been in school shows before which start with 2 hour rehearsals months before, plus singing rehearsals, which morph into half-days with a month to go and full day sessions in the final week. Two hours at thus stage is nothing. My only bit of sympathy is around costume cost if this wasn't explained in advance.

You have to run it in order once you get into rehearsals proper, or the blocking goes to pot. In my experience there's usually some consideration given to children to not keep them hanging on for too long, but sometimes it can't be helped.

By now your daughter really should know her lines, not knowing them effects all the other performers. If she's stuck sitting around for hours that's what she should be doing.

You and your precious daughter should opt out of the theatre group as you think you know better.

Dance shows often charge up to £80 per child for costumes.
£100 for three children and tickets sounds ok, presumably the activity is free apart from that? I pay more than that per month for my 2 children at drama.

YABU. Having done a lot of theatre work, some with lead roles, others not. It's entirely reasonable to expect lines learnt a month before. It's also invaluable to be present when scenes you're not in are run. IMO it's vital to know what's going on even when you're offstage. In case there's a cock up and you have to adapt quickly.

Agree that lines could be learnt when "hanging around". It IS a big commitment involving much time and effort. But the rewards of waiting in the wings, stepping on that stage and earning an applause is FANTASTIC. Ahhh the smell of the sawdust dhalink

Perhaps she and your family aren't suited to it?

Wow OP, you sound like a right piece of work, as does your DD!

dd auditioned every year but not been in it before this year as she has never been offered a main part before - what, because only a starring role is good enough for your precious diva? I guess it wasn't worth putting the effort in for a minor role? But presumably that's ok for everyone else when they first start out, as long as your DD doesn't have to lower herself to playing a supporting role, ever?

And now that she's been given a main part, she actually has to attend rehearsals twice a week? And the director dares complain that she hasn't bothered to learn her lines a mere month before the show? And he isn't organising the rehearsals around your precious diva's scenes to make sure she only has to attend when she's in the limelight? And he isn't seeking her (presumably expert, given her level of acting experience) opinion on scenes that she isn't in? How very unreasonable of him

If it's any consolation, I very much doubt they'll make the mistake of giving your DD a starring role again. Hopefully this won't affect your DD2's chances too badly, unless of course she has inherited the same entitled attitude.

Just in case this post is for real, YABU. Totally.

The important thing to remember is that your DD is a member of a team, and other people are relying on her. If she doesn't know what she's doing, then other people can't do their bits properly either.

You can't rehearse properly if you don't know your lines. Otherwise you're just reading aloud from the book. Ideally, you'd know all your lines before you even set foot into a rehearsal room so that you can get the best out of the limited time available.

And you can't just come on and do your bits and then forget about the rest of it - it's critical that you understand how your role fits into the overall narrative structure.

Rehearsals are rarely arranged for the convenience of the participants but for the needs of the production. Your DD could use the time she's not required productively - actually learn her lines, or, if not, do some homework.

I can't imagine any adult who's had some experience in theatre taking feedback from a child doing their first show. I'm cringing at the very idea.

If you want your DD to get the best out of this experience, OP, you need to get on board with what's required and make sure your DD understands what she needs to do. She's going to be very unpopular if she lets the rest of the cast down.

Re: costumes. Can you make or borrow something? Charity shops are always a good, cheap theatrical costumiers.