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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ridiculous demands from theatre group

163 replies

nameyname · 14/05/2015 13:19

Name changed as I think this might me identifiable! DDs are in a theatre group which does a show with adults and kids each year (Oliver type of thing). Middle dd has been doing it for four years, youngest started this year and older dd auditioned every year but not been in it before this year as she has never been offered a main part before.

They are expected to rehearse for two hours every week but older dd has a role that means she is not in a group with the other children but in different scenes so she has to go to extra rehearsals on a different night and attend the main rehearsal where she is often hanging about for ages to do her but as they insist on running it in order rather than letting her do her bits and go home. She doesn't really mind but is really irritated by the fact that the adults who aren't involved with a scene are often invited by the director to comment on what they've just seen but she is never allowed to offer an opinion.

She came back last night from rehearsal really fuming because director told her off for not having learnt all her lines yet and made her feel bad because she couldn't do it off by heart yet, I know they need to learn lines but the show is still a month away so she's got ages to prepare.

The other thing that is really annoying me is that they are expected to provide costumes which are going to cost me a fortune for three kids, this is supposed to be a free activity but in reality it's going to cost me over £100 by the time I've bought costumes and tickets.

So the question is wibu to have a word with the director to point out that this sort of thing is supposed to be fun but her attitude is sucking all the joy out of it for my family, specially dd1?

OP posts:
MythicalKings · 14/05/2015 14:20

And if she was that talented she'd have been offered a role before.

ApocalypseThen · 14/05/2015 14:21

Middle dd who has done it before isn't interested in having a main part and had never had more than a couple of lines.

Why did you allow her to accept the part if she didn't want it then and doesn't want it now?

00100001 · 14/05/2015 14:21

School plays are nowhere near the process of a 'proper' theatre play. you do have to spend hours sitting around doing not much.

wait until she has to go through the bloody tech run! LOL

balletnotlacrosse · 14/05/2015 14:22

I've just seen she's 13. She sounds like she needs to get over herself, and you should be teaching her to have a bit of humility.

00100001 · 14/05/2015 14:22

How is she going to cope with a whole day rehearsal nearer the time?

UnspecialSnowflake · 14/05/2015 14:23

Waiting around is part of theatre once you get beyond school plays. I worked backstage in west end theatres for twenty years, I've seen big name, A list actors/actresses made to wait for hours during technicals while the director has a scene change run again and again and again until it's right. Sometimes an actor is called and doesn't leave their dressing room all day because of hold ups. If your daughter is a talented actress learning to put up with the waiting around a use the time to perfect her lines is a good lesson.

Floggingmolly · 14/05/2015 14:23

How does your daughter react when the fact that she doesn't know her lines is commented on, op? She who thinks her opinions on the other cast members performances are so necessary for the common good??
13...

00100001 · 14/05/2015 14:23

"She hasn't done previous shows because she wasn't even given a minor role, just expected to sing in the chorus which shes done before and doesn't like."

That's called paying your dues :/

balletnotlacrosse · 14/05/2015 14:23

Any chance the reason the director has taken a dislike to her is because she sees her as this precocious, cheeky kid trying to air her views but not bothering to learn her lines?

DontWorryBeHappyNow · 14/05/2015 14:24

the director has just taken a dislike to her - I wonder why?

Let's see:
Unhappy about having to attend all the rehearsals (or at least her Mum is)
Complains about hanging about
Hasn't bothered to learn her lines
First ever role with this company yet expects to be able to comment on other's scenes

I really can't see what the problem is... But maybe it will get better if you march in and insist that she should be given preferential treatment because, you know, she is a really talented actress Hmm

Theycallmemellowjello · 14/05/2015 14:25

People, read the op! She clearly says that dd1 has to go to extra rehearsals on top of the standard 2hrs per week. I think it's hard to know whether this is u or not.

Buying costumes - expensive yes, but if you've been involved before something you knew about surely? So not u for drama club to expect that.

I do think it sounds like the drama club is trying to have it both ways - both expecting dd1 to put in the same hours as the adults rather than going to the reduced children's sessions but then treating her differently from the rest when she's there. I think they should either treat her as a special case - get all her scenes out of the way early so she can go home - or treat her as an ordinary cast member - ie allow her to participate in discussions about the play (no reason an intelligent 12 year old wouldn't have something insightful to contribute). So I think yanbu to be aggrieved at this.

With regard to line learning, the director should have made his expectations clear from the start. If she was not told to have her lines memorised by x date it is unreasonable to shout at her for not having done it.

Nothing at all unreasonable in her not participating unless she got a main part - it's a voluntary activity and of course she doesn't have an obligation to take part unless she wants to.

Shakey1500 · 14/05/2015 14:25

I think she's in line for learning some really tough lessons in the future if this is how's she you're thinking now. Do her a favour, stop pandering and let her learn the hard way. She'll thank you for it later.

00100001 · 14/05/2015 14:26

I don't think any of you realise, just how talented this girl is though.

so talented that rehearsal should be around her! So talented that someone else should cough up and pay for her costume.... she's so talented that she hasn't learnt her lines,and why should she?? she's talented!!!!!

GentlyBenevolent · 14/05/2015 14:26

Doesn't sond like this is the thing for her. Or you.

YABVU.

00100001 · 14/05/2015 14:26

mellowjello Yes, but the child is a main role, of course she has to go to extra rehearsals.... Hmm

Summerisle1 · 14/05/2015 14:27

She hasn't done previous shows because she wasn't even given a minor role, just expected to sing in the chorus which shes done before and doesn't like.

So she wasn't prepared to serve her time in roles that she felt were demeaning, eh but has now deigned to come on board once her star qualities we recognised?

I'm sorry but YABU and your dd is coming across as a diva. Worse, an inexperienced diva who is being enabled by her mother.

I'm a producer and scriptwriter (as well as a performer) in a high quality but amateur production and we always expect people to know their lines a month before show week. Regardless of their age. We also expect to rehearse the show right through once we get to a certain stage. There are perfectly sound technical reasons for this.

Being in a production means working as a team and that means that you give your fellow cast members some respect and not expect to fly in, deliver some unlearned lines and fly out again because you are more important than them.

It sounds to me as if your dd needed to be put in her place, I'm afraid. If she can't work to reasonable direction then all the talent in the world is irrelevant. Something she'll soon discover if she has any desire to go further in the profession.

There's still a month to go. If your dd really finds the director's expectations unbearable then she should drop out while there's still time to find a replacement.

DidoTheDodo · 14/05/2015 14:28

Doesn't like being in the chorus?
Oh my..... Hmm

Theycallmemellowjello · 14/05/2015 14:28

Right that's fine - but if that's what's expected she also shouldn't be treated differently from the other actors with main roles.

IsabellaofFrance · 14/05/2015 14:28

DS1 has been part of a community based theatre group for about 6 years.

They do 2 shows a year - about 6 weeks before each show the rehearsals are ramped up - 2 hours a week is nothing.

In life you have to work for the things you want. There is a high probability that she wont be offered a big part again if she can't be arsed and is acting like a diva.

Floggingmolly · 14/05/2015 14:28

She's not a special case. And she'd be better occupied learning her lines and concentrating on her own performance than "contributing" to the rest of the play where her attentions are neither necessary nor wanted.

Pennies · 14/05/2015 14:29

ROFL. Listen to yourself OP.

00100001 · 14/05/2015 14:31

mellow but it doesn't also mean that the director must listen to her...

LaurieFairyCake · 14/05/2015 14:34

No the director isn't going to be particularly interested in a 13 year olds opinion about adult actors in their first proper acting.

Your job is to tell her to suck it up and stop whinging. I had to do exactly the same to my dd when she complained.

If she's a good actress then she also needs to develop the right attitude as she's still very young.

AliceLidl · 14/05/2015 14:35

So you have a 13 year old child who has never acted in a professional show before?

But you say she's been in the school play and done a turn in the chorus (but hated it and refused to do it because it wasn't a main role), so she has more acting experience than some of the adults in this show?

And also you believe that this school play experience gives her the right to put her opinion, as a very talented actress, forward to the adult director of this professional show?

And her opinion is that she should get to rehearse her parts first and leave early, even though she doesn't know her lines yet, just a month before opening night?

And because this special treatment isn't happening, she's fuming?

And you're going to complain because the theatre group have made a "ridiculous demand" by expecting her to learn her lines and have her rehearse her scenes in order just like every other member of the cast?

I think you do need to speak to the director to spell all this out to them. And then you need to let us know exactly what they said to you in reply.

Theycallmemellowjello · 14/05/2015 14:35

Sure, it depends on the situation. It sounds from the op that the actors will discuss the scenes and how they should go with the director. Obviously that doesn't mean the director has to obey the actors! But excluding one actor from those discussions, when she is expected to put in the same hours and the same effort as the others, is unfair. So if that's going on, I don't think the op is u on that point.