To ask if for your honest view on regretting having or not having that third child?

[suddenlycupishalffull]

...I am genuinely torn over it...DS is 4, DS2 is 17 months...DH is enjoying 'getting our lives back' & the thought of another baby fills him with dread...we have 2 healthy, happy DC & I was fine during pregnancy & childbirth & he stresses we need to be grateful for that, which of course we do...but I see their childhoods already going so quickly (eldest starting big school in September, youngest already a toddler & no longer a baby) and don't feel really to let that go yet, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life without a doubt. Practically, it's not the right thing to do...I have no local family help, I suffered post-natal anxiety with both & don't like the chaos that lots of children brings...when I think of their futures, I hope we could take them on holidays, spend quality time with both, all of which DH says we will struggle to do with a 3rd child in the mix....and yet...my small family is not close at all and for various reasons I don't have a relationship with my relations (grandparents, aunts, cousins etc), I'd like something different for DC, I don't think a small family necessarily leads to happiness for children, I felt very isolated and alone at times. So...AIBU to ask whether you honestly have regretting having that 3rd child or regret having not gone for it?

I hear you.

I have two. Just turned 1 and 2.5. 18month gap. Chaos. Tiring. No family support. On the go all day just me with the two of them.

Yet, like you, I weirdly have a yearning for a third! I wouldn't mind, I didn't even particularly 'do' pregnancy or childbirth very well!!

I guess I just somehow don't feel I'm done. Which I should do.

Watching with interest...

Blazing88 - I've an eighteen month gap followed by a two year gap. The two year gap seemed soooooo easy!

As for those of you on the go all day and relieved when they're in bed, I'm currently sitting waiting for DC2 to come home from girlfriend's, so I can lock the house sufficiently for us to be secure, but still allow DC1 to get in about 3.00 am, because DH has already gone to bed and I don't know where the mobile is to be able to text DC2 details of what he needs to do when he gets in. After a full day at work, I'm desperate to go to bed but any other option apart from sitting up is too complicated for my tired brain to cope with.

I have 3dc. BUT they are 12, 8 and 7 months. Had they been close together in age I would have been ripping my hair out. As it is, the older 2 are very helpful. Baby dd is definitely my last tho so I seem to be enjoying her more and am far more relaxed than I was with ds and dd1.

suddenly I think you have to spend some time thinking further ahead. the thought of going through pregnancy and birth and the baby stage again terrifies me and since finding out I'm pregnant I've had several wobbles of 'I cant do this' but at the end of the day what made the decision was looking past having kids aged 6, 4, 4 and newborn to having 12, 10, 10 and 6, to having 18, 16, 16 and 12 and on to having 28, 26, 26 and 22. I couldn't see the future without that 4th child so we made the choice to 'suck it up' for want of a better phrase, for the short term to get the family we want for the long term. DH and I have been very honest with each other that we expect the next few years to be bloody hard and stressful and have talked about coping strategies - for example DH is happy for me to leave all the kids with him while I get and hour of 2 of peace and quiet etc.

but only you can know if you can cope with the short term pain to get the long term family you want. its a hard decision, DH and I ended up leaving it to fate (had unprotected sex but not counting cycle dates etc) - fate said yes!