Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Friend upset over sponsorship ...

110 replies

SponsorshipDramaLlama · 09/05/2015 17:40

I don't think I'm being unreasonable but maybe I'm wrong. I've name changed to venture into this part of the forum, partly because you can be a bit brutal and also this will identify me if my friends are on MN ...

I'm a keen runner, belong to a running club, do several races a year. A friend has never really run but is quite sporty and athletic. On the spur of the moment she decided to do a half marathon, did a couple of weeks training and successfully ran it - all great so far.

She decided just beforehand to do it for charity and asked me several times to sponsor her which I promised I would do. Being somebody who socialises with a lot of runners, it wasn't surprising that I knew eight other people doing the same race. Four of them were also doing it for charity, and by coincidence, three were doing it for the same charity (I wasn't running it as I had done one the week before - I've never run mine for charity as it's a hobby not a special endeavour for me).

I spoke to DH and we agreed we wanted to sponsor all our friends so decided to sponsor each one £5. So we were contributing £20 to one charity and £5 to another. We had also sponsored a few people doing the London marathon and it's all getting expensive. While we don't struggle, finances are pretty tight to the wire each month. We both work but childcare cripples what we bring home each month and we aren't high earners.

Anyway, my friend hasn't really spoken to me since doing her race and hadn't replied to a few texts. I asked a mutual friend in passing if she had seen her recently and she said that she had but knew she was a bit upset with me for only sponsoring her £5!

I sent her an email after I heard this and said great job on the race, you did really well and should be really proud of yourself for raising a good amount for charity. Sorry we couldn't contribute more but we were also sponsoring quite a few others in the same race and wanted to support all our friends equally rather than just one person a larger amount.

She replied and said it was okay but she was a bit upset as £5 doesn't go very far and it sends a message to others that it is okay to donate a low amount and for future reference it is better to donate anonymously and keep the amount hidden when it is less than £10.

I feel pretty put out and wish I hadn't bothered to sponsor her at all. DH says forget it, move on and don't sponsor her again but it is making me worried about sponsoring others - is £10 really considered the done minimum now?

OP posts:

swampytiggaa · 10/05/2015 18:47

I ask for sponsorship once a year for the scouts night hike. I do it with my son and two of my daughters. It is quite a long walk and raises funds for shelterbox.

I get one form for all of us and leave it out at work for a couple of days. I ask once and thank people for whatever they donate. I stick in some from us as well.

I hate asking actually but it is a good cause.

SolidGoldBrass · 10/05/2015 19:02

It is tricky when there are loads of different people asking for different sponsorships, which is why I think it's really important to make it clear (when I am asking, which happens about once every two years) that a donation of 50p or even 5p is fine because it all adds up. (Of course it's also fine with me if people choose not to sponsor me and I certainly wouldn't do a wailing guilt-trippy post on social media that someone hadn't offered enough.)

mrsfuzzy · 10/05/2015 19:19

a fiver isn't much when you have money but it is a lot to a charity and to someone on low income, she should be grateful you sponsored to start with as you were sponsoring others as well.

Justusemyname · 10/05/2015 19:24

For future reference!! Cheeky bitch.

I'd never support her money wise again.

AliceLidl · 10/05/2015 19:25

Sounds like she was doing it more so she could brag about how much she raised than because she really wanted to help the charity in question.

If she's so ungrateful, I'd refuse to sponsor her in future.

thewomaninwhitefluffybunnyears · 10/05/2015 19:29

Your friend is unreasonable! I have done various sponsored things for NICU (in memory of my DD) and any donation is appreciated. Your friend is ungrateful. I have donations under £5 before and many £5. They all add up and people can only donate what they can afford. As you say, there are multiple demands these days.

rookiemere · 10/05/2015 19:41

Is it just me or is £5 actually a reasonable amount of money as a donation?

It's just under an hours work on minimum wage. I may just be tight, it's entirely possible, but I'd be pleased if someone donated £5 to my cause. It seems peoples expectations of what others should donate have risen disproportionately in relation to income.

pollyenta · 10/05/2015 19:47

I'm someone who looks at what others have donated because I don't want to look stingy. But if everyone has given more than I can afford, I'd be more likely to not donate at all than donate significantly less than anyone else has. Less embarrassing.

So YANBU at all!

GottaFeeling · 10/05/2015 19:57

I'm a runner, so I know loads of people doing sponsored events and I and many of my friends have children, ditto.

My policy is that I sponsor people generously for their first marathon and nothing else. I never sponsor children and I never ask anyone to sponsor mine. When mine are doing a sponsored event. When asked to sponsor anyone else, I explain my policy. Most are fine about it and if they're not, that's their problem.

Flyinggeese21 · 10/05/2015 21:18

Agree rookie, £5 is a significant amount for most people.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread