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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit put out about what happened at swimming today (trivial)

48 replies

Dansak · 08/05/2015 17:44

I took ds (4) to a child swim session today, it was really busy and a mix of babies up to preschoolers.

He likes to jump in and splash, I try my best to make sure he doesn't get people with his splashes, but didn't realise a man and his approx 8mth old baby had moved close to where we were. Ds jumped in and splashed them, baby laughed but the man looked annoyed and said let's see how he likes it and started splashing my ds, then stropped off muttering.

I realise I am being pfb, but aibu to think he over reacted and shouldn't have started splashing a little boy?

I hate confrontation or that we may have inadvertently upset someone, so it's bothering me a little bit.

OP posts:

cathpip · 08/05/2015 17:47

The mans a dick......

GottaFeeling · 08/05/2015 17:47

Of course he shouldn't have reacted like that and what are you doing in a pool if you don't want to get splashed? but when your pfb is still only 8mo, you're allowed to be a bit odd at times.

VelvetRose · 08/05/2015 17:48

You didn't mean to upset him, he was being protective of his dd. Maybe she was terrified of the pool in the first place. Splashing your ds is really pathetic though!!

MythicalKings · 08/05/2015 17:49

In our baths DCs have to get out if they deliberately splash. No jumping in allowed when little ones are in the pool.

Original poster

Dansak · 08/05/2015 17:51

Yes I was probably just as protective over splashes etc when ds was that age and getting used to the environment. He just took it a bit far.

Thankfully ds just thought he was playing.

OP posts:

Griphook · 08/05/2015 17:57

You were restrained, if someone had splashed my ds I would have had words. He's 4 Ffs

keepsmiling2015 · 08/05/2015 18:20

He's a cunt!

tigermoll · 08/05/2015 18:37

Although the man was a bit childish, it sounds like you need to actually stop your son from splashing rather than just 'trying' to make sure he doesn't splash anyone else. If you're cross at someone else for splashing your kid, maybe you should think about why it's ok for him to dish it out but not take i??

Szeli · 08/05/2015 18:45

He's lucky your DS didn't then splash back. My DS(2) would have gone hell for leather reciprocating the splashes.

AuntyMag10 · 08/05/2015 18:47

Yanbu, what an idiot. Would have loved it if your ds splashed him back

diddl · 08/05/2015 18:48

The guy was an idiot, but perhaps you shouldn't be letting your son jump in when it's busy!

QueenB14 · 08/05/2015 18:50

I would not be happy if I was you! I have a 6mo DD who likes the water and if she was laughing like you say his dc was I would have just given your DS a little smile but kept an eye out in case he got a bit too boisterous etc

Plus if there are little ones jumping in I don't tend too stay too near the sides where the splashes would get us anyway

TheAuthoress · 08/05/2015 18:50

He was being a bit of a dick, but i remember when my PFB was 8months old, I thought giant 4yos were little shits! Now that PFB is almost 5 I've changed my mind

I think I would have explained to my 4yo in earshot of the PFB dad that we have to be aware of other people in the pool when we jump in as there's little babies nearby as they may not like water in their eyes. Sure, the pool is for jumping and splashing, but they need to grow up with a sense of awareness of who is about too.

Yarp · 08/05/2015 18:57

Lawks, the man was a tosser.

An occupational hazard of water is getting wet

Yes of course explain to your child about looking first etc etc, but retribution from a grown man to a little boy is pathetic

YorkieButtonsizeMen · 08/05/2015 19:06

Umm, I think you're a little unreasonable for allowing a 4yo to jump in close enough to an 8mo baby to splash them.

this doesn't make the bloke reasonable in his reaction, however, to be blunt - you started it!

Original poster

Dansak · 08/05/2015 19:10

Yes I imagine ds did seem huge to him. I do get his protective element. It is very much a splashy, jumping in type session though, he was jumping off the platform in the middle of the pool, along with lots of others. I don't try and stop him splashing as he hits the water, but I do try and stop others getting splashed near us and jumping close to other people. It is all part of the fun and building water confidence in the correct environment. He doesn't use his hands to splash.

I will work on his awareness more of what he is doing though and checking around more.

Glad I wasn't being too precious about the man splashing him though, I wish I had said something now.

OP posts:

EduCated · 08/05/2015 19:13

He sounds like a twat. It's one thing to be annoyed (unreasonably) but another still to deliberately splash in retaliation!

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 08/05/2015 19:14

That is really bizarre behaviour.

Your child splashed his child by accident.
His child is not distressed.
Instead of asking you to stop your child splashing, he, an adult, deliberately splashes your child back, putting them in danger deliberately when your small child had done the same by mistake.

I'd have reported him to the lifeguard, really strange unsafe behaviour around children and a scary lack of awareness about appropriate behaviour.

YorkieButtonsizeMen · 08/05/2015 19:28

But where is a parent with a small baby who IS distressed by big splashes, particularly in their eyes, meant to take their child to swim?

Your child's right to make huge splashes doesn't trump a baby's right not to be splashed.

It's difficult I accept but I fear some compromise is in order.

I once asked some 10-11 year old kids to be gentle around my 3yo, in the baby pool (knee deep beach pool that they shouldn't have been in) and got a mouthful from their mother.

whereonthestair · 08/05/2015 19:47

Is it just me who thinks that splashing is part of learning to swim, and that even babies need splashing when they are tiny.so long as they are also safe/ with a parent etc... I remember it from when ds was tiny and I have always thought of it as part of why he is now a water baby...

Original poster

Dansak · 08/05/2015 19:51

No I don't believe anyone's needs have more rights than others, I should have checked again before he jumped, my problem is the dad's retaliation.

Not wanting to do a massive dripfeed, I didn't go in to a huge amount of detail in the first post as I wasn't asking if ds was being unreasonable to splash, I was asking if I was being unreasonable to be upset by what the man did.

Just to clear things up as I really don't want anyone thinking I allow my ds to run riot around babies, we go to this huge pool 30 mins away because it caters for preschoolers too, whereas the local baby pool is more gentle and sedate for the little ones. Jumping in is actively encouraged and it's a massive pool, the platform is used for jumping off. The man came up behind me, I do normally stop the jumps if I spot anyone near, I hadn't seen him.

OP posts:

Beth2511 · 08/05/2015 19:56

I often take 5 mo DD and she actually enjoys being splashed. Only time ive ever had a problem is when we tucked into a corner and a parent told their child to jump in and came scarily close to landing on DD.

One little boy bashed into dd and his poor mum was desperately trying to explain why he needs to be careful and dd made it really difficult for her by laughing away.

glittertits · 08/05/2015 19:57

Can't see a problem here. Boy splashed man. Man splashed boy back. Hardly a crime!

Notso · 08/05/2015 19:58

A baby swimming class maybe Yorkie or some pools have specific baby and toddler sessions. It's also worth asking when the quietest times are, often early morning or just before school pick up.

QueenB14 · 08/05/2015 19:59

I think you're right op IMHO he had crossed the line when he addressed your son in the manner he did "let's see how you like it" when you were supervising nearby

That was before he even raised his hand to splash him back

wait til his dc is 4 would he like a grown man purposely splash them in the face to teach them a lesson? Doubt it

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