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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit put out about what happened at swimming today (trivial)

48 replies

Dansak · 08/05/2015 17:44

I took ds (4) to a child swim session today, it was really busy and a mix of babies up to preschoolers.

He likes to jump in and splash, I try my best to make sure he doesn't get people with his splashes, but didn't realise a man and his approx 8mth old baby had moved close to where we were. Ds jumped in and splashed them, baby laughed but the man looked annoyed and said let's see how he likes it and started splashing my ds, then stropped off muttering.

I realise I am being pfb, but aibu to think he over reacted and shouldn't have started splashing a little boy?

I hate confrontation or that we may have inadvertently upset someone, so it's bothering me a little bit.

OP posts:

YorkieButtonsizeMen · 08/05/2015 20:03

If it was actually a jumping specified area, and the man took a baby near enough to it to be in the path of flying toddlers then he was pretty unreasonable himself.

But that wasn't clear from your OP really.

Jumping areas need to be kept clear; non jumping areas need to be used with caution.

Perhaps the ideal thing, if you intended to stop the jump but were caught off guard, would have been to apologise to the man, and for him to have said Ok, and everyone move on. It doesn't sound like you had a chance to though.

Are the sessions for babies or older kids - or both? Do they actually encourage jumping from that area?

londonrach · 08/05/2015 20:06

Very poor swimmer here. Love swimming but no one should jump in unless its in an area for jumping. I stay in slow lane. Anyone jumping in means i go under. Yabvvvvu allowing your ds to to that and frankly if i had a 8 month with me id be furious. Your ds splashed men, man spashed back!

Tryharder · 08/05/2015 20:08

The splashing is fairly irrelevant really. The scary attitude and aggression of a full grown man to a very young child is worrying and weird.

YANBU.

Notso · 08/05/2015 20:09

I agree whereonthestair I horrified MIL once by pouring water all over DD's head and face when she was helping me bath her. She was about 12 weeks.
It doesn't always work though my youngest has had the same treatment, more even as he has been subjected to bathing with DC3. He is 3 now and still doesn't really like being splashed or getting his hair wet much.

skislope · 08/05/2015 20:16

if a grown man did that to my nearly 4 year old daughter i would not be happy. no excuse. however pfb or whatever.

Knottyknitter · 08/05/2015 20:20

All the swimming instructors are really protective of dd (4 months) when I take her.

This week, we were in the toddler pool, and the Big Kids class came to use it too. They must be all of 3 yrs, so yes, to me, they're H U G E!

The coaches immediately started shouting at them not to splash the baby. They were quite loud and vocal about it - great, except dd was doing 80% of the splashing herself; she loves the water, and the attention from the big ones was right up her street.

Then I felt I had to stick to the rule of no splashing near the baby. Easier said than done, getting any rule across to someone who's sixteen weeks old!

At least she naps properly on a Tuesday after swimming.

Icedfinger · 08/05/2015 20:20

YANBU he should have spoken to you if he had a problem.

PP who removes child from the bath for splashing? Are you serious?

Original poster

Dansak · 08/05/2015 20:33

Yorkie its a session for all preschool ages, its a large oasis type pool. Babies tend to be in the shallows, older children in the deeper area and around the jumping platform. But babies do go to the other areas, which is why I try and check before jumps. I just didn't see him. I am sorry they were splashed, I do try to be considerate of others.

He didn't give me chance to apologise, I would have done.

I didn't include everything in the op as it was just about what he did, I thought if I included too much information it would be too detailed.

OP posts:

AlpacaMyBag · 08/05/2015 20:38

Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt for his odd behaviour, perhaps he had a bad night with his DC and was feeling grumpy and unreasonable? Not out of the question for someone with a baby.

But YANBU.

Aridane · 08/05/2015 20:58

Don't really get the problem, or why the man is apparently a cunt and aggressive for splashing back.

EduCated · 08/05/2015 21:02

I don't think it's so much the splashing back as the 'see how he likes it'. Had it been playful, which it certainly doesn't sound like it was, then it would be pretty PFB.

Coffeemonster1 · 08/05/2015 21:06

If the man was so worried about his baby being splashed then he should stay in a quiet section of the pool and have not moved towards you while he was jumping in.. Obviously everyone should be considerate of others when jumping in etc but you shouldn't stop your lo from enjoying themselves. Getting splashed in inevitable in a kids pool !!! YANBU.

SueBigFatSue · 08/05/2015 21:09

londonrach it was a jumping zone.

OP The man was being a dick.
As with any swimming pool...there's a risk you may get a bit of water splashed in your face

CrapBag · 08/05/2015 21:14

If he doesn't want his baby to get splashed he needs to go when it is quieter ffs. Idiotic man and I would of have been happy had he splashed my 4 year old. Children like to play around in a swimming pool, it's hardly something new.

TowerRavenSeven · 08/05/2015 21:17

Yanbu in the least! He was the adult not a child for heaven's sake! If I had an 8 mo old I'd be looking out for bigger kids and avoided them. I'm assuming he saw you and your ds, he should have stayed away if he didn't want baby splashed.

amybear2 · 08/05/2015 22:31

YABU He didn't slap him or swear at him or spit him.If your DS didn't like it maybe it will teach the pair of you to be a bit more considerate next time.

MidniteScribbler · 09/05/2015 07:18

So it was ok for your DS to splash him, but not ok for him to splash your DS back? In Australia we'd just call that a water fight and it would be all in. Talk about uptight.

I can't wait until he goes to school and we get to see the threads. "Little AngelicBoy hit another child, then that child hit back. How dare they lay their hands on my little precious! That horrible child should know better than to hit my child!"

Yarp · 09/05/2015 07:26

Midnite

the splash was unintentional, not aimed at starting play
The man's splashing was result of anger and to take revenge on a small boy
The man splashed back, not the baby, so it bears no relation to your comment at the end

AppleAndBlackberry · 09/05/2015 07:27

I would be really upset if an adult man aggressively splashed my 4 year old and so would she.

AppleAndBlackberry · 09/05/2015 07:27

It's very different from doing it in fun

MidniteScribbler · 09/05/2015 07:41

Being splashed by the man is probably a better lesson than an ineffectual mother saying 'don't do that darling'. It's just bloody water. The guy didn't hit him or call him names. It's some water splashed on a kid that was already wet. It's water! Hardly going to scar him for life.

Yarp · 09/05/2015 07:57

No, it won't scar him for life

The man was a twat though

Yarp · 09/05/2015 07:58

And why assume mother would be ineffectual?

Aggression is the only means of discipline?

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