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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you voted Conservative you won't admit to it?

248 replies

Jjcrackers · 08/05/2015 10:02

My Facebook thread is chocca-block with 'anti Conservative'/country ruined/heath to the NHS' posts. Yet nobody has piped up to cheer that the Conservatives are winning.

AIBU to think that with such a majority, probabilities would suggest that a large proportion of my friends (in the loosest sense of the word)voted conservative but are sitting on their hands?

OP posts:
CheesyDibbles · 08/05/2015 22:41

Left wing voters tend to be more vocal about how they are voting, believing they have the moral high ground. This is why the polls are often wrong and understate the Tory vote.
I agree its tedious on mumsnet, you try and put forward a balanced view and its mostly ignored or you are told you are a selfish person for having a different economic view!

This. So very, very this.

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 08/05/2015 22:55

Meggy moo - bitter is an emotive word - you are being just a little be goady and aggressive towards me.

You came across as bitter and twisted.

Are you honestly saying you wouldn't feel aggrieved if it was the other way round and it was the English that had more money spent on them per head it wouldn't bother yoy? I think you might be just a little bit pissed off.

Actually no, I would be aggrieved -unlike you--

Can you tell me straight that you honestly think it is fair?

Yes, I do think it's fair as I am a higher rate tax payer are yo

And you know full well that it is a drain on the English tax payer. The money spent per head is set by the formula not by how much each separate country generates off it's own back.

So are you saying NI, Wales and Scotland are a drain on the English tax payers? I wonder how much tax you pay given your posts!

MeggyMooAndTinkerToo · 08/05/2015 22:56

wouldn't be aggrieved bloody ipad

Topseyt · 09/05/2015 04:25

Relief to have seen this thread. Relief from the immature and puerile vitriol I have seen posted on here.

There are people who clearly think that their opinion is the only valid one, and anyone else's different one is there to be dissed.

Most of them just don't seem to understand that this is why we vote by SECRET ballot - to avoid voter intimidation such as they so like to dish out.

Without saying who I voted for, lets just say that although I am naturally somewhat right wing, I fully accept the opinions of left-wingers too. I don't have to agree with them and they don't have to agree with me.

Name calling is just immature though, and shows an inability to conduct and follow reasoned debate.

2boys2girls · 09/05/2015 06:09

I agree I've noticed that most labour supporters fight dirty ie the name calling the slagging off of others its a blessing Tories got in if this site is anything to go by! I'm shocked by "peoples" people in the loose's of terms, pack animals maybe more apt maybe feral cats or dieased flea ridden vermin but that's to disrespectful to such creatures

Madsometimes · 09/05/2015 07:36

There was a woman on Question Time last night saying that she is a member of the LGBT community and despairing that she has no political role models like her. The response by the panel was to get involved with politics herself.

My inner response was Ruth Davidson ticks all your boxes and is well respected by her political friends and opponents. But everyone knows the Tories are sexist homophobic baby eaters so they would never allow a gay women into a leadership position Hmm

2boys2girls · 09/05/2015 07:49

Why the insults ?do feel an argument is lost when the insults start flying,

Welshwabbit · 09/05/2015 08:08

I am a Labour member and voter - have been since I was 18. My husband is an on/off Conservative party member and until this election has always voted for them - this time he voted Labour because he was unhappy about their promises to raise the inheritance tax threshold whilst also cutting certain welfare benefits; the new right to buy policy which he felt was not thought through and was unfunded; their position on Europe and the way Cameron had dealt with the Scottish issue. I have told him he is clearly out of step with the mood of the country and that if he ever votes Labour again I will know what to expect!

Anyway, that's the background. Clearly, as I am married to a Tory (albeit a wet, one nation one) I don't hate them. I have a lot of very left wing friends, some of whom ranted a lot on social media yesterday. I don't condone this and I don't like personal abuse of Tories for obvious reasons, but I do know they were upset and most of them care deeply about the future of the country. It's easier to be nice when you've won.

I also have a lot of Tory friends -and most of my friends are quite vocally political so there were plenty of Tories celebrating on my Facebook feed. Most did so graciously and without gloating. Most agreed that the Tory campaign had been pretty nasty. I was pleasantly surprised that after a long and at times bitter campaign we were able to put aside the tribalism of our student politics days (nearly 20 years ago! Where did the time go???) and disagree in a mutually respectful way.

Two things I found harder to understand. The people on my feed are mainly ideological Tories - they vote that way because they think it's best for the country. There were a couple of posts - from people I know have no experience at all of trying to manage on a low wage or benefits - saying how pleased they were that the Tories were back in because it would help with their mortgage and tax burden and the benefits cuts were fair. No reasons given for the latter view. I do think that is thoughtless and selfish although I would not (and did not) say so on Facebook.

Also, whilst I understand why people wouldn't necessarily want to tell their friends their voting intentions for fear of abuse (although really - get new friends!) how does that prevent them from telling the truth to pollsters? No risk of abuse there. Genuinely interested in the answer.

Sorry about the essay!

Welshwabbit · 09/05/2015 08:15

Madsometimes, I think Ruth Davidson is a good thing. She did a great job during the referendum campaign, but reading up on her background it doesn't appear that she is working class, and that is something the young woman on QT specifically mentioned.

TheCatsMother99 · 09/05/2015 08:29

I voted Conservative. I don't mind admitting it but I'm absolutely sick to death of seeing so many aggressive Facebook posts from what seems like only Labour supporters against the Tories. Forgive me if I'm wrong but it doesn't seem like the other parties are as aggressive, from my part I haven't been verbally attacked by the Green Party, lib dems or UKIP supporters anyway.

I imagine other conservative supporters might not want to admit it because of the level of abuse we receive.

LotusLight · 09/05/2015 08:59

I had to pretend to be a labour supporter on a business call yesterday! The lawyer on the other side assumed I must be labour. I though it was really presumptuous of her to assume she knew my politics. It is more polite not to make that assumption and to realise some people yesterday were very upset and others of us over the moon.

Earlier in the day an accountant gently mentioned the election and we both realised we were glad - fellow Tory and I told him a colleague of my daughter had been crying (very left wing from abroad) and my daughter with huge pleasure (Tory) had left a newspaper on her desk,. Just office banter but not need to cry surely... laughing as I type.

Is it just manners and class? In the UK we tend to know that talking about money, politics and sex is not a wise idea and it can upset people in polite or social conversation so best avoided whereas perhaps the left is not quite so polite or considerate of others?

Also it depends on your friends and circle. My constituency voted 60% for our Conservative candidate so I am obviously not surrounded by Labour voters in this bit of London.

I see more people voted UKIP than voted for SNP and the Irish put together. I had no idea until i read it in the paper today. So if Cameron is going to go by the will of the people a bit he should give more attention to UKIP supporters than SNP although that is not may - I support first past the post and Cameron has a majority so the people as a whole have decided just as the Scots decided they wanted to stay with us so there we are.
(Mad, there are gay MPs so I am not sure why that person thought there were no role models in politics).

TheChandler · 09/05/2015 09:01

Welshwabbit I think Ruth Davidson is a good thing. She did a great job during the referendum campaign, but reading up on her background it doesn't appear that she is working class, and that is something the young woman on QT specifically mentioned.

Erm, she went to Buckhaven High School in Fife, which is about as working class as it gets. Her father worked as a manager in the textile industry. She worked as a journalist before entering politics, and a proper jobbing journalist at that, firstly on local newspapers and then on radio.

I'm not sure what the qualifications are for being working class, but she seems to have been a non-privately educated taxpayer prior to entering politics, which is more than you can say for many supposedly socialist MPs.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 09/05/2015 09:04

I had to pretend to be a labour supporter on a business call yesterday! The lawyer on the other side assumed I must be labour.

I'd take a dim view on this if I were her manager.

Welshwabbit · 09/05/2015 09:04

LotusLight if I've understood you correctly, that wasn't very nice behaviour on the part of your daughter.

Welshwabbit · 09/05/2015 09:06

TheChandler, I didn't say she was privately educated. Her father had a managerial role, which I would not define as working class.

Chips1999 · 09/05/2015 09:17

I have noticed that people I know who have voted Conservative seem very reluctant to admit it openly. I'm not quite sure why that is, maybe it is because people see politics as a private thing not to be discussed as suggested on this thread.

I believe that politics should be discussed, it does affect us all and we should be able to have sensible discussions on it no matter which way we vote. I've changed my opinions through reading other people's opinions and gained understanding of other people's choices by talking about their choices.

Welshwabbit · 09/05/2015 09:21

Should say I think Ruth Davidson is still a great role model and could have been mentioned, just that she doesn't quite fit the brief. Angela Eagle is another one - daughter of a print worker, I discover, but went to Oxford so might also not float the questioner ' s boat.

flora717 · 09/05/2015 09:23

That's because a mere +0.8% voted conservative (Not very significant). Tories now command (owing to the demolition of their coalition partner) 313 seats (the coalition gave them 360 ish). The massive change is the SNP. The tories will have to work hard to get every party member to take the party line. I might not be a Tory but I do intend to engage with my MP about significant points to me. It's not a victory in election campaign terms for anyone but snp.

QOD · 09/05/2015 09:26

I did and said so on Facebook

Democracy and what suffragettes died for ... for me to vote, and to vote how I chose

LotusLight · 09/05/2015 10:29

Office banter... daughter and colleague joke all day about all kinds of things so daughter putting copy of newspaper print out on colleagues desk for when colleague arrived just part of the joke and the other gives as good as she gets. They all had lunch out yesterday too. Although I agree I would not have done that.

On the other one - the labour lawyer is a lovely lady and we get on really well but politics had never been mentioned. She won't have a manager as she part owns the firm. I know perfectly well that there are a good few labour supporters out there and many are very upset so being a kind Conservative I hope I never rub their noses in their abject failure. It is particularly annoying for parties like UKIP who have had more votes than Scottish and Irish parties in total and 1 seat too. This is why Cameron was wise in his first speech to say he was going to try to bring the nation together as one nation for the good of us all.

RedToothBrush · 09/05/2015 10:37

I had a conversation with a group of friends last night. We voted differently between us. We are all pretty liberal types and share a pretty similar view of life. So it was interesting that we had voted differently. What became apparent was none of liked everything about the party we voted for but felt there was merit/danger from the option we choose and the alternatives. When we talked about what we ACTUALLY wanted it was almost universally the same. We had the same fears and worries and the same hopes and aspirations for the future in terms of what the state should do and provide.

I think Nick Clegg and David Cameron were always much more on the same page than people realise. Cameron is a liberal conservative whilst Clegg is a liberal who now after time in government had his idealism tempered by the realities he was left with. I actually think Cameron probably has a harder time dealing with the more right wing elements of his own party than he ever did with the Liberal Democrats.

This cross over and overlap also goes with Labour. Some Conservatives share more in common with some Labour supporters than the right wing of the party.

Would I call my friends scum for how they voted when they think the same way and have the same values and priorities?

I find it ironic that so many of us end up fighting amongst ourselves over a cross on a piece of paper when the reality is we often share more in common with what we want than we don't.

I think the complexities of how we get to where we need to be are made harder by politics getting in the way. I think there are councillors and NHS managers who make decisions designed to make a point or because they are incompetent rather than because they are the best option. They always have the fall back that they can blame it on the government and its cuts. It becomes about point scoring and individuals making a point. Why did some councils axe high paying staff first whilst others axed loads of low paid ones? The different approaches are more revealing than you think.

I do fear what a conservative majority will do, but it is tempered by the realisation that they are not going to be able to do as much as their rhetoric suggests because even with a minority they will struggle to pass things. The Conservative party has a wide range of views and this is going to be very difficult to unify. Lots of MPs will try and make a name for themselves. Especially with Cameron going after this term. Lots of factions are going to spring up. It wouldn't surprise me if there were defections and lots and lots of rebellions.

There is lots of room for the SNP and Labour and yes even the LD to capitalise on this if they are smart and get their houses in order quickly. If they spend too much time staring at their shoes then the Conservatives will run away with things. I think in many respects the ball is MORE in the court of the opposition to direct things than with the government. But that relies on them getting their head out of their arses, listening to the public and working together.

I dunno. I don't think the world has ended. It will be harder for a lot of people, but I equally think there is a lot of people over egging it to make it a bigger drama. That's where they will fail to be effective in drawing support.

The swing voters need to be appealed to. They get turned off and angry at the name calling and the end-of-the-worlding. Engage. Treat them with respect.

They are NOT your enemy. They are your friends.

DaveMinion · 09/05/2015 14:18

I happily admit I voted tory. But apparently being a healthcare worker and someone with a chronic health condition means I don't care about the NHS and disability benefits. Pisses me off no end.

bananaramadramallama · 09/05/2015 17:14

Everything RedToothBrush said is spot on imo.

As another point, one of the things I would like to see is a cross party coalition type approach to the NHS; at the moment it is a political football and unscrupulous/incompetent, often politically motivated bad decisions are made at the top of its management chains.

If the government and all parties could agree to take the politics out of it and figure out a way to improve and adapt that all are involved in/agree on, then we could save it and make it future proof.

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