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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be this obsessed/ distraught...

27 replies

putthekettleonwouldya · 07/05/2015 22:33

About aging?

OP posts:

Jinglebells99 · 07/05/2015 22:34

How old are you?

AntiHop · 07/05/2015 22:34

Yabu. I've got happier as I've got older.

purplemurple1 · 07/05/2015 22:35

what about aging are you stressed about - looks, dying?

MelanieCheeks · 07/05/2015 22:36

You're going to get older, ie age. Nothing you can do.

abigamarone · 07/05/2015 22:36

I'd have to know how obsessed/distraught you are about ageing to answer, but it's preferable to the alternative.

Original poster

putthekettleonwouldya · 07/05/2015 22:37

looks, dying ... alone :p
30s

OP posts:

magimedi · 07/05/2015 22:37

It's inevitable & the option to not aging is not so good.

trappedinsuburbia · 07/05/2015 22:39

Im more relaxed about it now im just about to turn 40, I think 'fuck it' about a lot more things and age is one of them.
I was distraught when I turned 30 though .....

purplemurple1 · 07/05/2015 22:40

Are you at the broody age but single so woorying about how it will work out?

todayisayesterdaystomorrow · 07/05/2015 22:41

Yanbu. I'm horribly arkward about turning 40 this year.

Original poster

putthekettleonwouldya · 07/05/2015 22:41

purplemurple1 bingo ;)

OP posts:

code · 07/05/2015 22:43

I had this at 25. I'm in my 40s now and love being old and invisible, it's strangely freeing.

DragonsCanHop · 07/05/2015 22:44

I worried at 30ish and now at 40ish I think fuck it about a lot of things including my age.

I pulled a grey hair out with venum today, straw like fuckers including the bastard one that grows out of my forehead

maroonedwithfour · 07/05/2015 22:45

I'm 37, not really bothered. I'd rather be graceful with lipo

littlebillie · 07/05/2015 22:47

I think we all stress about getting older however when someone close you is sick you realize that old age is to be celebrated.

purplemurple1 · 07/05/2015 22:48

All I can do is offer hope. I met OH at 30 and was trying for kids before I turned 32 (got 2 now at 35), and obv Iäm by no means too old to try for more even though its not for me.

How is your relationship history, anything brewing or do you get out and meet new people? Would consider being a single mum?

BestZebbie · 07/05/2015 22:49

Sit down and actually think through what would happen if a genie ppped out now and granted you the wish to live forever (both with and without aging any further, and with and without the ability for your body to be damaged).
Hopefully after actually working through the various alternatives (they are all OK to begin with and then get steadily more horrific as you get increasingly out of step) aging and dying eventually in the normal sort of span stops seeming quite so bad.

EddieStobbart · 07/05/2015 22:55

I was leafing through a magazine today and started to get really pissed off by the number of "anti-ageing/young looking skin" adverts I came across. We're always being told ageing is an abomination - no wonder you're upset!

I don't have any real advice but try to concentrate on feeling fit and what has improved in your life over time.

Singingbird · 08/05/2015 00:39

During my 30s, I was obsessed with anti ageing creams. It's alll bollocks. I'm now 49 and having the time of my life, given up worrying about lines. Got a good haircut, stopped being in a horrible rlelationship, enjoyed being single. I look better because I'm happy and stopped being desperate for affirmation.

Garcia10 · 08/05/2015 00:44

You have to learn that getting old is a privilege. I have family members who died. One at 18 and one at 21. I'm thankful every day that I am alive. Yes, I may look older but at least I'm here to live my life and see my daughter grow-up.

I know I'm getting older and it isn't easy. I'm in my 40s and it is hard that I'm ageing but seriously it is better than the alternative.

Latara · 08/05/2015 00:45

I'm 38 & scared of getting into my 40s without a boyfriend/husband & babies. I have written about that on another thread tonight so not getting into it here, but yes it is normal to worry about ageing for lots of reasons.

I have a lot of regrets so it would be nice to turn back the clock but no-one can do that!

Latara · 08/05/2015 00:48

Actually one of my friends was killed in an accident at 25, she was very fun-loving & a good person. So I feel bad having regrets when she didn't even get to see 30.

olgaga · 08/05/2015 01:32

OP I made the mistake of setting various targets for myself by the age of 30. it was a very depressing time of my life as while I was pleased with my career etc I had no partner, family of my own etc.

I think life is all about balance and at various times in our lives that balance is out of kilter. Somehow this feels worse if it coincides with a "landmark" birthday.

All I can say is life does change. And if you feel really down for a prolonged period do speak to your GP. Sometimes there are issues from your early life which take on greater significance as you mature

All I can advise is don't push your feelings to one side, seek help. Don't do what I did and resist. I did finally seek help from my GP who was unexpectedl kind and understanding.

mrssnodge · 08/05/2015 10:45

Im happier now at 48, than I ever was in my 20/30s- I had Dc really young, in an unhappy marriage, and it took to my mid 30s to get out of it.
now Dc are all grown up, only one left at home,I met he love of my life at 40 and Im happier than ever before with my lot- yes I look in the mirror and think "gawd," but for all I was slim and lovely in my youth and now Im a bit fatter, and wobble a bit, I m defintely happier and stil look Ok for my age - ish!

NotOneIota · 08/05/2015 12:24

I'm with you on this one OP. Up until 10 years ago I looked young for my age. People often commented that I didn't look old enough to have teenage sons. Then,at 42 (I'm 46 now) the menopause hit me like a steam train. Skin,hair teeth,nails,energy levels,memory all suffered, and I've come out the other side looking every scrap my age. It was a shock that youth was all over,I regret not appreciating it more! But a side effect of getting older is that your thought processes change,more confident,more able to speak up,care a little less what people think,and I am very much enjoying that part of it!

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