2nd date madness?

[perfectlyincapable]

Not a stealth boast thread honest.

I have been online dating on and off for quite a few months, nearly every single date has ended very quickly (usually by me walking out).
I'm not desperate for a relationship but I do miss having the companionship, I'm still friendly with my DCS dad and we Co habitat so that makes dating harder hence why I believe I haven't had a lot of luck.

Anyway fast forward and I was invited out on a date by a seemingly nice guy who I had been chatting to for a little while.
Now this guy has blown me away, he met me with flowers, held the doors open, insisted on paying and walked me home and gave me a kiss before leaving basically the whole old school gent shabang.

I am really impressed and he really seems to like me, he has been in contact frequently by text and phone, he suggested our 2nd date and has booked tickets for Alton towers with hotel (separate beds if needed as he knows I won't DTD for a while yet) leaving tomorrow.

Now we had discussed our ideas of fun as we went to the funfair and I mentioned I love theme parks, we also work very similar hours so he knows we both aren't working, my exH is also fine with the DCS.

But I just can't shake this worry of its too good to be true.
I have had some terrible relationships and even my good ones have never been as thoughtful as this guy.
I'm terrified but I don't know why, my friend has joked he is probably a psycho trying to reel me in as these things never happen in real life.

AIBU? I mean if it was all just a ploy surely he wouldn't have spent a fair amount of money on a date right (I was sent the booking confirmation for my own piece of mind).

Tell me I'm just being stupid and this is a good crazy, I obviously don't think I'm going to be kidnapped or murdered but I am worried about red flags and him turning out to be a nutcase.

OP, I was reading this thread but never said anything. Glad your date went well, you sound like a lucky lady meeting a lovely man like this gentleman. Ignore any posters picking apart the other aspects of your life. You asked for advice on this date only. You trusted your instincts and it all went well. I hope there are many other lovely dates with this man.

I must be the only one seeing this.

The OP is living with her OH - the father of her children.

And what has that got to do with her initial query? Nada. She's updated, it went well. Perhaps it is time to backup and leave her alone.

Imaging a man coming on here asking the same question- still living with his wife and kids and wants advice about getting a new girlfriend.

Bizarre.

I will keep to being polite but I do not understand your issues Fulltothebrim I sense you obviously have nothing better to do than read my previous threads.
Yes my EXH is the father to 3 of my 4 DCs and the idiot Ex boyfriend who you so nicely went through and found all the details out and pasted on this thread is the father to my 4th DC.

WHAT exactly does that have to do with the thread? I have already said I have had some good and some terrible relationships and you feel the need to post every detail about my life... how very sad for you.

I am now leaving the thread.

So glad your date went well OP!

I think there are plenty of women on here who would have a lot of respect for a man trying cohabitation with an ex for the benefit of their children. If this man has no problem with OP's circumstances then I don't really think it is your place to be passing comment.

what would you say to a friend who told you they were going on an overnight second date, quite a way from home, with a man they barely knew, who they met on the internet and they were sharing a room?

I'd say that's how my last relationship started. Either I have very good instincts for when I'm safe or I just got lucky. Either way it was fun and I did not get murdered. There was a moment when I got into his car in the dark in the middle of rural Dorset having only met him once before and thought "well is this sensible, is it, hmm?" but I instinctively felt safe with him. (Also, by bizarre coincidence although we met on the internet, we actually grew up in the same small town and I used to know his parents, so it didn't feel like he was a complete stranger).

OP, the whole flowers, door opening, paying for the date shebang could mean he's a nice, polite man, or that he's a psychopath using charm to cover his tracks, or (my personal favourite) a sign that he thinks it's 1954. It's too early to tell. Trust your instincts, don't fall for charm and make sure a friend knows where you are. Personally I'd also drive myself there. You want to be able to leave without him if need be.

Oh I see you've been on the date and come back and he's not a weirdo. Good. Sorry I didn't read all the thread before I posted.

"A woman would be told this was a massive red flag, because it is."

It's probably more common than you think Kvetch. I'd be a little wary but it wouldn't bother me per se, as a woman dating a man. House prices are ridiculous, not all separated couples can afford to live separately

Really glad it went well OP - hurrah! Will you be seeing him again?

Well, it was a trip to Alton Towers, not a week on Necker Island - he sounded like he made an effort but it wasn't so crazy as to be weird (IMO). Being a gent is great - there are still gents out there! It doesn't have to be a sign of anything other than the fact that he is a good guy.

Just keep dating, don't put too much pressure on it and see where it goes! When I first started dating my DH he was quite a lot like this, moved fast, total gent, great at organising stuff, etc, and was/has always been that guy consistently.

Yes definitely seeing him again we are going for dinner at the weekend

I am so pleased for you, keep us updated xx

Brill! Hope it works out. He sounds lovely.