2nd date madness?

[perfectlyincapable]

Not a stealth boast thread honest.

I have been online dating on and off for quite a few months, nearly every single date has ended very quickly (usually by me walking out).
I'm not desperate for a relationship but I do miss having the companionship, I'm still friendly with my DCS dad and we Co habitat so that makes dating harder hence why I believe I haven't had a lot of luck.

Anyway fast forward and I was invited out on a date by a seemingly nice guy who I had been chatting to for a little while.
Now this guy has blown me away, he met me with flowers, held the doors open, insisted on paying and walked me home and gave me a kiss before leaving basically the whole old school gent shabang.

I am really impressed and he really seems to like me, he has been in contact frequently by text and phone, he suggested our 2nd date and has booked tickets for Alton towers with hotel (separate beds if needed as he knows I won't DTD for a while yet) leaving tomorrow.

Now we had discussed our ideas of fun as we went to the funfair and I mentioned I love theme parks, we also work very similar hours so he knows we both aren't working, my exH is also fine with the DCS.

But I just can't shake this worry of its too good to be true.
I have had some terrible relationships and even my good ones have never been as thoughtful as this guy.
I'm terrified but I don't know why, my friend has joked he is probably a psycho trying to reel me in as these things never happen in real life.

AIBU? I mean if it was all just a ploy surely he wouldn't have spent a fair amount of money on a date right (I was sent the booking confirmation for my own piece of mind).

Tell me I'm just being stupid and this is a good crazy, I obviously don't think I'm going to be kidnapped or murdered but I am worried about red flags and him turning out to be a nutcase.

I'm at ease with casual sex but you don't buy me with a pint.

The point was about the assumptions possibly being made when she's made it clear it's not on the agenda. It was about posters telling the OP that she needed to have options open to her.

We all hope he's a nice guy and he more than likely is but he now knows that he had crossed her boundary. If he respects that, fine.

My now dh tried to suggest an over-nighter in a hotel (London) for our FIRST date. I said no (mostly because exH was still living in my house, though we were separated, and it would have caused problems - bad situation not relevant here).
My point is, he wasn't doing it for any manipulative on controlling reasons, but turned out to be a nice guy who just thought it would be fun to go to London. Possibly he was hoping sex would be on the cards too, but that doesn't mean he was an awful predator not interested in me as a person, too (at least I hope not, because we've been married for years now!)
By all means don't go if you're not comfy with it, and explain why - if he's a nice guy he'll get it. I wouldn't assume he's a baddun for proposing it though.
And yes, as a pp said, the expense is relative to his income - maybe he's loaded - yay! (Joking).

Ah, sorry, see she's made her decision - should RTFT.

Over-thinking it, your friend doesn't help.

My best friend went all out like that when he met someone he really liked. He'd had so many shits that when he found a woman he clicked with, who didn't treat him like shit.

We haven't stopped talking yet really so I'm aware of his relationship history (one LTR with 3 DCS, she dumped him a year ago because of his long hour unsociable working hours).
Very amicable on the face of it so that's a positive.

He has also said to me that if I change my mind on the date it's understandable and I can keep the booking and tickets (may as well not waste them) and take a friend and we can do something low key when I'm back.

He sounds really really lovely actually. Maybe there are reasons for his keenness that aren't so great. But maybe he's just lovely. If he treats his mum really well, I bet he's just a nice bloke.

I believe Adolf Hitler was very fond of his mum

I believe Adolf Hitler was very fond of his mum

Thetruth I decided to drive he had suggested the train or he drove but I wanted to for my own piece of mind.

Well it will certainly be make or break, I hope you have a lovely time

hell no. book your own room. he probably IS well intentioned and non creepy but...what if he's not?

snow I take it you haven't read the whole thread then??

What's wrong with dinner?

I find this whole thread bizarre.

If I met a guy and found out he was living with the mother of his children I would run a mile.

OP I am not surprised you find dating hard. If any decent man knows you are living with a bloke hewould walk away. THe ones who will still date you knowing this are thinking only about one thing.

OP don't listen to a lot of the posters on here, of course he's not definitely an arsehole / wannabe rapist.
The point is just keep your sensible head on, don't be swept away by his "prince charming" routine, you don't really know him yet.
I've been bowled over by a couple of these chaps previously and they turned out to be wankers, but then I met another Prince Charming and guess what? He wasn't a wanker and we got married last year!

Fulltothebrim well done for missing the entire point of the thread.
My living situation whilst not ideal for some works very well for OUR DCs but thanks for your input.
And as a side note I did previously have a year long relationship with a very nice man whilst still Co habitating, so no not every decent man would run a mile.

perfectlyincapable* no I think it's you who are missing the whole point.
You say yourself that you have had some "terrible" relationships.

I am suggesting that while you continue living with your OH that elusive other relationship may be out of your grasp- yes just because of that "tiny" little detail.

If this was a man posting here he would probably get a grilling- asking for help in cultivating a romance while still living with his wife.

I am gobsmacked you can't see this OP perfectlyincapable

I'd be very wary OP. Sounds like far too much too soon which would be a red flag for me. I'd be trying to put the brakes on a bit to see how it evolves over time- a second date can be the one that makes you see a slightly different side to someone and think 'maybe not'. I wouldnt want to be stuck with someone for 2 days if that was the case.

Re the booking a room - I think he's trying his luck and is hoping you'll drink/ feel indebted enough to change your mind about DTD.

It'd be a bit ironic if you'd walked out on some genuine, if not as 'good mannered' men only to fall for someone who seemingly did everything 'right' yet is a complete wanker.

Thought I'd update you all.
Well we went to Alton Towers and had an amazing time, he is so lovely, very polite and a true gentleman.
We ended up staying because he managed to book another room.
Thank you for all the advice it seems I was worried over nothing.

Full to the brim, yes I've had some terrible relationships but also some very nice ones whilst still being friends and Co habitating with my ex husband.
I'm sorry you find that two adults who get on well and want to the the best for their children a problem.
Luckily there are a few non judgemental out there who are open minded and secure enough to see past it.
Better never have a lodger hey if I want a relationship because it will obviously be very off putting having another adult living under the same roof even with separate rooms.

Extremely bad form Full to the brim.
And yes like I say I have had some terrible relationships and some good ones, that was a bad one.

Glad you had a good date and glad you had separate rooms. DH and I have been together for 17 years after he took me to a theme park for our FIRST date (we'd been friends for a month or so first) so I think it's a fantastic idea.

Oh and your obviously a little lost fulltothebrim because that was one of my ex boyfriends not my ex husband.

But you still live with this guy perfectly.