AIBU to expect parents to control children even in the likes of Pizza Express

[Jewels234]

I know it's more of a family restaurant, but there are children all around me going mental. Screaming, having tantrums, standing on chairs. It's horrendous.

I am probably being unreasonable being here in the first place, but I love a leg gera salad.

One of my nieces works in Giraffe. She's heavily pregnant. She likes kids.

That doesn't mean she liked the one who came into her branch recently, repeatedly ran around despite being asked not to and then ran up the stairs and crashed into DN as she was coming down them with a tray of hot coffee. The child was ok. DN got burned.

The mother had the audacity to give DN abuse for "nearly burning" her precious child while DN was being given first aid by colleagues!

DN's observation is that generally speaking the worst offenders are "the Boden wearing" type.

Young children shouldn't be allowed in restaurants after a certain time at

night. I think this would be a really popular move for some businesses and their customers.

I know of a coffee shop which doesn't allow pushchairs. It's always busy.

Before I was a mother I was very intolerant of other peoples children and did lots of passive aggressive tutting and eye rolling when they played up. Well hasn't karma bit me in the arse. My 2yo DD likes a good tantrum now and again. Usually in public. And has been in pizza express. It's mortifying, and I always to apologise to people round us. But I really can't help how she is sometimes and take a punt when we decide to go out as usually she's good. Don't blame her though, they take fucking forever to bring food out and if it was socially acceptable I'd probably stamp my feet and scream in frustration as well.

Hobnong I get that!!

I was going to say Pizza Hut No, Pizza Expess Yes!! ;)

This is MN where everyone's child is restaurant trained from birth and never ever plays up or has a tantrum and always sits nicely without the aid of mum's iPhone.

So clearly YANBU.

It's our job as parents to put them in situations they can handle and manage the situations when they can't. It is not a child's fault if he or she is running about, squealing, or making a godawful mess. The parent should ensure there is no running about, no squealing, and clear up after them.

Children cry, that's usual, but if they can't be consoled, then the parent has to react and do what they can to resolve the situation. If that means taking them out, then that is what they do. Tantrums happen, but they need not destroy everyone's day.

This of course apples to NT children.

Sometimes controlling a child isn't as easy as it sounds.

I feel like an awful parent as it is when my 3 year old starts messing around and won't listen. He doesn't do it all the time, but I don't really know what to do to MAKE him do as he is told? We do try, but can't exactly put him in time out in a restaurant. He gets told he will get no pudding if he's naughty, or no TV when we get home or something which sometimes works. He doesn't run around, if he did he would be strapped into a highchair regardless of how old he was to teach him that if he acts like a baby he is treated like one but has been known to throw colouring pencils on the floor for no apparent reason which REALLY annoys me so wouldn't blame other people for being irritated by it.

My youngest is 22 months old and if he's tired he will just cry and nothing will calm him down apart from being put in his pushchair and ignored for 5 minutes until he falls asleep (I know his tired cry, if he wants something like a drink for example he has enough vocabulary now to tell me) Obviously that is going to look like I'm not 'controlling' him too but by letting him do this it means he will cry for 5 minutes and not an hour. Otherwise he's really well behaved in restaurants, he loves food!

So in a way, YABU as kids will get bored in restaurants, they have shorter attention spans than adults and sitting quietly waiting for food when they are hungry isn't going to be a time when their behaviour is at it's best. If you want a nice quiet meal, you should probably go somewhere less family friendly or at a later time. YANBU to be irritated but probably would be unreasonable to assume parents have a metaphorical remote control to mute and pause their children, it's not as easy as that.

Yes. I know lots of people whose kids have been a bit challenging in a restaurant who are lovely parents and whose children have grown up just fine. Everyone does their best.

The loudest people in restaurants are generally drunk so aren't children.

The loudest people in restaurants are generally drunk so aren't children.

Your Pizza Express sounds very different to my Pizza Express.

Fanjo - I think most people do their best. Sadly I think there's a small minority who can't be bothered.

That sounded a nightmare yanbu child friendly doesnt ,mean play ground.

The small minority who allow their children to run about and endanger themselves and others certainly aren't doing their best. That situation is totally different from trying often under impossible circumstances to deal with challenging behaviour at the table.

And what about all of us who will never be able to afford to go to places like the Fat Duck? You may regard the places you let kids run about as cheap places, for some of us it is a posh night out.

I work at Pizza Express (I'm a food runner so everyone thinks I'm a waitress and asks me for drinks/their bill even though I have no power to do this) and if children are running around and making noise we as staff are supposed to gently tell them to sit down or explain politely to their parents that the children could be hurt if they crash into someone who is carrying hot food. I'm slightly surprised that no one did this when you went OP but then again most of us are very young (in college/uni) and can find parents very intimidating.

It's more of a safe guarding issue than annoying. Especially with hot food and drinks being brought out.
If hot tea was spilled on a child heaven forbid but who'd get the blame. Probably the poor innocent waiter/ess.

OP I was in the same restaurant at the same time as you

...my kids weren't amongst the perps- they are big

I didn't notice any particularly lairy kids because gluten free lager but I did notice that the waiting staff were frazzled and that there were a lot of fed up looking people

We had a lovely time. But have to say-if I didn't have kids I'd avoid PE on bank holiday Monday like the proverbial plague

What gets me is the running around. We were in TGI Fridays on Sunday, (haven't been for years, nice burgers!). Child at next table not being loud or anything but constantly running round. My two would run round given half a chance and I have to work really hard at stopping them. Makes it so much harder when my 3yo can see another 3yo doing what she wants to do.

It can be so difficult. DH and I try really hard to keep DC3 and 4 quiet, we pick our times and places carefully, take things to entertain them, try and order the children's food ASAP.
Sometimes though it all falls apart, food takes too long, they get fed up of colouring and it can descend into noise/tantrums etc quickly.
We take it in turns to take them outside but even going in and out can be seen as being disruptive and cause tutting. Getting out phones or iPods as an extreme last resort also leads to cats bum mouths and eye rolling, we're damned if we do and damned if we don't.
Our older two were never any bother, we could take them anywhere and bar a bit of loudish babbling as babies they were model diners.
DC3 and DC4 are completely different, they are physical children always on the go and both have been loud from being babies. Sitting quietly doesn't come easily to them.

Children are noisy but letting them run about or stand on chairs bang on tables is bloody annoying even in child friendly places

Yanbu people dont educate their children anymore X

Sometimes you cannot stop the banging on tables.

What about not taking your children out to eat until they are able to sit quietly and sensibly for a couple of hours to eat a meal? If that means that they have to wait until they get to say age eight, or are able to do this by the age of four or five, than that's the time to bring them to restaurants, -otherwise you're just inflicting their noise and bad behaviour on everyone else!

If thereason for the noise is disability, that is disablist.