AIBU to expect parents to control children even in the likes of Pizza Express

[Jewels234]

I know it's more of a family restaurant, but there are children all around me going mental. Screaming, having tantrums, standing on chairs. It's horrendous.

I am probably being unreasonable being here in the first place, but I love a leg gera salad.

Although he wouldn't understand being told not to stare.

Socially inappropriate behaviours can be such a headache to deal with when you have a child with cognitive delays. Staring is nothing. Let's just say I'm so glad that DS2 appears to have got over his excitement that everyone has a chin and a nose and that his fascination with bald heads appears to have cooled.

Thankfully, we've had some unexpectedly lovely reactions to his exuberant displays of fascination.

Yes DD likes to grab people by the bum

This is what I mean about parents of NT children making life difficult for parents of children with disabilities by not putting boundaries in place. I'd expect a parent of an NT child to discourage staring at an age appropriate point but I would hardly imagine that fanjo can ensure her daughter complies with behaviour she doesn't understand

I think this is key. If an adult I didn't know smiled and waved exuberantly, I'd assume they weren't NT and respond positively and appropriately.

It's immensely sad that kids who aren't NT don't get the same automatic reaction as parents of NT kids don't teach them this stuff/make 'oh, we must let the children be themselves' noises in places like restaurants when their kids are tearing up the place.

This thread has been useful to me as a reminder to check my assumptions, though.

I studied English Literature at university and have a Masters degree but what would I know??

How arrogant to assume we're should be all 'checking' our children's behaviour for your benefit- you have 'no rights' to expect this behaviour you talk like you do.

We not 'we're'.

Is that in childhood development, Goldenbear?

Surely the expectation of certain behaviours in this context is as much for the childs benefit as others around him/her ?

Not running around shrieking and tripping up waiting staff/climbing on tables is to protect the child from being burnt/ falling off the tables as well as being socially acceptable to others .

Do you allow your child to explore their "natural curiosity" at home by not locking away sharp knives, allowing them to barrel into you when you are a carrying hot food ??
I think people like arguing sometimes on here just for the sake of it !

I can't quite see why your degree in English Literature or your Masters are relevant to your parenting or the reaction of others to what you feel is appropriate. How bizarre.

Should've gone to Delicio in Bexleyheath. It was an oasis of calm.

So what, Goldenbear? I've got a degree in Psychology. It still doesn't make me an expert in anything much, or my opinions more valid than anyone else's.

Which of us were you talking to, GoldenBear? I talked about checking my own assumptions about other people's children to make sure I'm operating fairly.

I do think we should all try to equip NT children with appropriate social skills for everyone's benefit. Thoughtfulness to others is quite useful in a functioning society.

If we're going to play Competitive Education, I'm happy to join in but if it's about the definition of 'stare', wouldn't a decent dictionary be sufficient?

What the on earth has having a degree got to do with anything Goldenbear I would imagne lots of us on here have degrees, so what??

I have a degree in English literature, and a Masters. I should have said ages ago, I didn't realise it gave my views extra credibility on this thread.

Aww, Fanjo - I'd be waving back at her. I like engaging with children and seeing them smile. Why wouldn't you do something nice like that?
My friends adult son has ASD and is non verbal. That doesn't mean I don't say "hello, X" when we meet just because he isn't able to say hello back.

No need to be obtuse. Well obviously you develop a good understanding of how text is constructed- if you are studying it 'all' of the time! I therefore know that it is a perfectly 'valid' description, even taking into consideration definitions. How does a psychology degree equip you with the same understanding of text construction- it's not exactly the focus of the degree is it?

Ballet, it has nothing to do with subject of the thread, it is a tangent.

Oh, and if we are boasting, I am a member of the Kellogs Noddy Club, circa 1967 and have a badge and everything.

It's not a boast, I'm trying to provide a reason as to why I don't want to be patronised in this area.

Aww. Thanks. Wish we could meet all you nice wavy people when out and about.

Is your DD going on the taxi outing? If so she will get loads of people waving. We all used to hang out if the office windows to wave at all the children. Excellent fun!

How does a degree in English help you parent just because you read some books on childrearing attachment parenting doesnt make you a good parent childrens natural curiosity doesnt mean that it isnt a parents job to keep them safe the world does not stop turning because a toddler wants to stand on chairs .

I have a degree in English Literature as well. I just didn't see the need to drag it onto this thread.

Mrsjayy I think she imagines it gives her a superior understanding of the definition of staring.

Actually, I have a degree in Eng Lit too.
It's not as fabby as my Noddy Club membership though. And you don't get a badge either.