Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think allowing our sons to play rugby is irresponsible parenting?

318 replies

AddToBasket · 04/05/2015 11:40

There's another article in the Times today about Professor Allyson Pollock's attempt to get people to understand how dangerous school rugby is. She's been abused on Twitter, stonewalled by other parents, ignored by Rugby's professional bodies. (Link here but behind paywall)

Basically, a combination of parental peer pressure and the Establishment mean people won't listen to what she has to say. Rugby as it is played at school at present is not safe.

AIBU to think we aren't protecting our sons? Why are we allowing this compulsory sport to put at risk so much for our boys?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/05/2015 11:45

I agree it shouldn't be compulsory.

I've got 3 DSs. 2 of them love rugby and play for the school team but the other one really didn't like it.

The thought of him having to roughly barge into someone, or have them roughly barge into him, used to scare the bejayzus out of him Grin

shewept · 04/05/2015 11:50

Yabu to call it irresponsible parenting.

I read the article other day. I have seen horrendous injuries in lots of sports. Yes its a risky sport. But most are.

reallybadidea · 04/05/2015 11:51

The son of a friend of mine was permanently brain damaged aged 15 after being tackled during rugby practice in PE at school.

In such a risk averse society I'm amazed children still play it at school.

shewept · 04/05/2015 11:54

My issue is, that more children are injured in car crashes and travelling to school. But we still do it.

I think schools should be aware of the risk and judge it for themselves. I don't actually know what the rights answer is. But lots of children enjoy playing and we can't avoid all risk.

SunnyBaudelaire · 04/05/2015 11:55

I must admit it has crossed my mind, when schools are obsessed with
CP, where parents feel constantly watched and judged, that they are then sending out our sons to play this v dangerous game.

ho hum

Original poster
AddToBasket · 04/05/2015 11:55

Shewept - actually, the point Prof Pollock is making is that there AREN'T riskier school sports, nothing like. That rugby is by far the most dangerous.

Parents writing off what she has to say with 'well, all sport carries risk' are a huge part of the problem.

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 04/05/2015 11:56

YABU.
I don't agree with forcing children to play full contact rugby but they should be allowed to if they wish.
Society is far too risk averse these days, we adults are slowly restricting our children so much that they don't have any sort of freedom. That's why we have a generation of softies and fatties who would rather kill aliens on the xbox while eating takeaway pizza that actually get outside and run around.

OrlandoWoolf · 04/05/2015 11:58

My issue is, that more children are injured in car crashes and travelling to school. But we still do it

Yes. But kids need to get to school. Kids don't need to play rugby. A friend of mine broke his leg in the first week of learning to play.

It can be a fun sport - but unlike some other sports, it does come with risks. Should children be forced to do something that comes with risks like this? Or should it be voluntary?

SunnyBaudelaire · 04/05/2015 11:59

I must admit I was very proud when DS had the one opportunity of his school career to represent the school at rugby. tbh they were desperate to make up numbers and this sport is like a religion where we live.

Original poster
AddToBasket · 04/05/2015 12:00

'That's why we have a generation of softies and fatties who would rather kill aliens on the xbox while eating takeaway pizza that actually get outside and run around.'

Well, presumably we can think of other ways for our sons to 'get outside and run around' than expecting them to factor in spinal injuries, tissue damage and brain impact. Your polarising attitude -rugby or flabby- actually is irresponsible.

There might be arguments in favour of rugby, but they aren't this.

OP posts:
OrlandoWoolf · 04/05/2015 12:01

It's great for those kids who enjoy it and are good at it. Some kids enjoy running, passing and tackling others. For others, the idea of stopping someone who is bigger and heavier than you whilst they are running towards you is their idea of hell. Fuck up and you get shouted at and called a loser.

Just like other team sports. I was never good at team sports. I prefer my own thing.

titchy · 04/05/2015 12:01

Can't view link, but does anyone have any (proper peer reviewed) statistics on the likelihood of a child getting seriously injured for every hour of contact rugby played compared to say the likelihood of a child getting injured for every hour they spend travelling in a car?

SunnyBaudelaire · 04/05/2015 12:02

yes that was a bit of a false dichotomy. There are plenty of other ways of keeping fit besides playing this insane game.

partialderivative · 04/05/2015 12:03

Rugby is a sport that means huge amounts to thousands and thousands of boys, girls, men and women.

Please allow people to find out what they are good at and enjoy.

I first played (full contact) rugby aged 9 and immediately fell in love with it. I was crap at footie and really did not enjoy it at all. I carried on playing rugby for 2 decades.

It would be a crying shame if children were denied the opportunity to play such a sport.

Original poster
AddToBasket · 04/05/2015 12:04

There's a list of the research papers on Professor Pollock's website www.allysonpollock.com/?tag=childhood-rugby-injury

OP posts:
OrlandoWoolf · 04/05/2015 12:04

titchy

That's not really the point. Car journeys are a necessity for many. Rugby is not a necessity. It's a fun sport for some but why would you take such a risk when you don't have to - if people don't want to play rugby, why should they?

There are other ways of getting fit.

OrlandoWoolf · 04/05/2015 12:05

It would be a crying shame if children were denied the opportunity to play such a sport

True - but should it be compulsory ?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 04/05/2015 12:07

A friend of ours is an Anaesthetist, rugby is the one sport he didn't let his boys play in due to the serious injuries he saw in theatre as a result of it.

rookiemere · 04/05/2015 12:09

DS plays rugby, this is the first year that they have done contact and they are 8-9. He's good at scoring tries but less keen on tackling - something that DH is concerned about, me less so as the less tackling he does then hopefully the less chance he has of getting hurt.

His friend doesn't play rugby as his DF is a doctor, so yes the chance of injury is a bit of a concern.

DS is a stocky boy who runs fast, so it's a good sport for his build - it's also one of the few sports that is arranged through the school so a lot of his team mates are in the same year. We did try him at football but he wasn't keen as only one of his pals was doing it. He enjoys the camaraderie of rugby and it's one of the few occasions at that age where they enjoy the thrill of the team winning.

DS is prone to putting on weight, so whilst I acknowledge the risks, provided he is playing it in a controlled way then I'm happy enough for him to do it, I still think it is better than sitting at home doing nothing and yes we could all be doing healthy family activities together, but it's harder to get him out for a walk than it is for rugby.

I am glad though that we are moving to cricket season Grin!

Aussiemum78 · 04/05/2015 12:09

Rugby shouldn't be compulsory, it is not the only sport nor the only way to be active. Basketball, cricket, netball, athletics, swimming etc are all lower contact than rugby.

Here we have rugby league as a big sport, although I think it's dying out in favour of soccer in many areas. Partly because soccer has less contact but also the culture of it is dreadful. I watched an under 7s game not long ago, and kids were getting elbowed in the face, kneed in the groin, yelled at, sworn at (including by parents). There was no "sportsmanship" happening at all. I wouldn't encourage my child to play and I'd oppose it being compulsory at school.

Original poster
AddToBasket · 04/05/2015 12:09

'It would be a crying shame if children were denied the opportunity to play such a sport.'

But would it? I know you enjoyed it and didn't enjoy football, but you might have enjoyed hockey or tennis or cricket or badminton or cross-country or even boxing (lower injury rates). Is it really a crying shame to challenge the role of rugby in schools?

A friend of mine had a scrum collapse on him (aged 14) - he hasn't walked again and is tetraplegic. Rugby was compulsory at my school. Would it really be a crying shame for him to have been given the opportunity of water polo?

OP posts:
StellaAlpina · 04/05/2015 12:11

I've seen a girl fracture a limb falling off the beam at gymnastics
I wonder if my clicky hip and knees are in part due to years of ballet + gymastics
My dad's broken his nose twice skiing
My mum needed an operation due to a yoga injury!

You can't negate all risk, I certainly spent ages practising falling off the beam properly and stretching and cooling down at the end of ballet.

All sports can be dangerous, I suppose you have to weigh up the dangers in sport versus all the benefits for health and self esteem, and make sure you use all the safety equipment and don't take silly risks.

I'm certainly glad for all the benefits I got from doing sport/dance and my middle aged dad is proud when he looks at his skiing trophies and loves shouting at the telly during the winter sport season.

shewept · 04/05/2015 12:12

actually, the point Prof Pollock is making is that there AREN'T riskier school sports, nothing like. That rugby is by far the most dangerous.

Well I know 2 people permanently damaged by football. So Maybe we should ban that. I also am wary of a report by someone who has personally been effected. It can unknowingly influence her.

I agree it maybe the riskiest. But that doesn't mean that it should be banned. We can't keep banning stuff because it carries a fairly small risk.

SunnyBaudelaire · 04/05/2015 12:12

anyway the game is bizarre - son used to come home laughing at it, what with all the bottom grabbing and what not.

Reginafalangie · 04/05/2015 12:13

Is it compulsory in most schools?

The ones my children attend have the opportunity to play a range of sports and are not forced to do any. They do play rugby but it is tag (in primary) and as safe as any other contact sport.

I don't think it is fair that she was "shut down" but it is unfair for you to call it irresponsible parenting.