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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think allowing our sons to play rugby is irresponsible parenting?

318 replies

AddToBasket · 04/05/2015 11:40

There's another article in the Times today about Professor Allyson Pollock's attempt to get people to understand how dangerous school rugby is. She's been abused on Twitter, stonewalled by other parents, ignored by Rugby's professional bodies. (Link here but behind paywall)

Basically, a combination of parental peer pressure and the Establishment mean people won't listen to what she has to say. Rugby as it is played at school at present is not safe.

AIBU to think we aren't protecting our sons? Why are we allowing this compulsory sport to put at risk so much for our boys?

OP posts:
howabout · 04/05/2015 14:05

YANBU. I am glad I don't have sons and so this is an abstract question for me. I think for children there is an issue of vast differences in physical stature for similar ages. The risks must surely be higher for a short or lanky slight boy than for a stalky boy. There is also a trend for mixed gender rugby in primary aged DC and my DDs will not be doing this - I say this as a mother of 2 martial arts black belt DDs. There are similar risks in martial arts but certainly they were better thought through and managed in my DDs particular branch than they appear to be in rugby.

shewept · 04/05/2015 14:06

This is my problem. According to this study Rugby is the riskiest sport. So we ban it in school. In five years a study say 'football is the riskiest sport's so we ban that.

Eventually all sport will be banned in schools. You can not ban everything which will cause injury or is a risk of injury.

FishCanFly · 04/05/2015 14:06

I will be flamed here, but i find something very homoerotic about rugby. Bunch of guys groping each other.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 04/05/2015 14:07

Some fantastic examples on this thread of people who can't seem to grasp the difference between anecdote and scientific evidence.

I completely agree with this. And I am considering lobbying MNHQ to not allow any new members until they demonstrate they understand this.

Songofsixpence · 04/05/2015 14:13

I agree it shouldn't be compulsory, and it's not just boys.

My DD had to do 6 weeks of full contact rugby late last year. She hated it and I can't say I was particularly happy about it. She spent quite a lot of that term with a black eye or a limp

The lessons weren't even taken by an actual PE teacher - he was off sick with a rugby Hmm injury so the lessons were supervised by whichever teacher had a free period and were willing to give it up

DD's school is split into 4 houses and each house stays together for their PE lesson. School had a rota and each house did a different sport so there were 4 sports running each PE lesson. It wouldn't have been impossible to allow the kids to do something else if they really didn't want to do rugby.

DD is quite sporty, loves athletics, netball and watersports so it's not like it's rugby or nothing.

AwakeCantSleep · 04/05/2015 14:13

No-one suggests banning all sports in school. Some people question the wisdom of mandatory participation in a sport which carries a higher risk of injury (compared to the other school sports).

Songofsixpence · 04/05/2015 14:19

Our school also has a lot of after school sports clubs for those who want to take part in matches, etc. DD is in the netball team.

There's a rugby team - which is run by one of the parents who is a proper qualified rugby coach. He was pretty horrified that there wasn't one for PE lessons

Maryz · 04/05/2015 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrlandoWoolf · 04/05/2015 14:28

Not sure how relevant that is to compulsory sports at school TBH

fredfredsausagehead1 · 04/05/2015 14:36

When taking account of injuries and percentages were these serious injuries because my children play sport and are ALWAYS injured!

Because if we are talking about broken noses and bones, sometimes the risk of not following your passion outweighs the risk of a minor injury

Football is terrible as is hockey, athletics....saw a horrible pole vault injury Hmm

My daughter sliced her head open swimmingHmm

Diving is very risky on the neck...

Skiing is horrendous for injuries Hmm

StellaAlpina · 04/05/2015 14:39

Do DC usually get to choose what sports they do in PE these days? That sounds like a really good idea as long as they don't get to always choose the same thing and have to alternate a bit.

We didn't get to choose 'till year 11.

MoreBeta · 04/05/2015 14:46

I played rugby from age 12 until age 22 as hooker (middle of the front row in scrum). I was not very big but physically very strong and didn't mind being hurt.

I had a ruptured kidney, I almost broke my neck, dislocated my thumb, broke several fingers, was severely concussed and my knees don't work properly even now. Over my rugby career I spent 4 weeks in hospital and most of the rest carrying varying degrees of injury.

I loved it. My mother hated me playing. It has danger inherent in it.

My DS plays rugby but insists on only B team where players are his size. He has been asked many times to play A team rugby he is just not big enough but has the skill.

I think UK school rugby players should be graded by size into lightweight' and 'heavyweight' as they are in New Zealand. This would make it safer.

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2015 14:46

I will admit I am glad my two didn't want to play Rugby. It seems a truly bizarre game with lots of potential for injury.

Cauliflower ears and broken noses are not a good look.

Also glad they don't play cricket but that's mainly because I find it really boring and a bit rubbish as a sport.

IndridCold · 04/05/2015 14:54

Prof Pollock is right to draw attention to the risks involved, but she should leave it there and let individuals decide. We need to learn to understand and manage risk in our lives, not try and eliminate it completely by banning things.

I am a big rugby fan, but I have to say that I will be pleased when DS stops playing - it is his decision though (he is 16).

trice · 04/05/2015 14:56

Ds has to play rugby at school. He has always hated it and has injured his back in a scrum. I think all sports should be optional.

If the aim of school sports is to encourage people to take up a lifelong love of physical activity then the focus should be shifted from team games to weights, pilates, gym, running and dance. The sort of exercise that adults choose.

IMO the team games obsession is driven by the studies that show team sports players are more competitive (No shit Sherlock). And by state schools trying to emulate public schools.

I know lots of people love rugby. That is great and I wish them joy of it. Why would they want to play with someone who hates every minute?

MrsFrankieHeck · 04/05/2015 14:56

DS loved it. He's had plenty of injuries but worse ones from cricket and bizarrely high jump.

DeeWe · 04/05/2015 15:03

My dad pulled a muscle playing chess. He was in serious agony from it. Grin

Jessica2point0 · 04/05/2015 15:08

I think a offering a range would be the best option. And it would be feasible if the schools would coordinate together. Say on Wednesday afternoons (for instance) all yr 7 from two / three local schools all do PE. All the PE teachers from those schools split the kids between them so they could offer 4 - 6 options rather than one or two. It would mean schools cooperating properly though, and decent sports facilities shared between them.

meandjulio · 04/05/2015 15:11

YANBU. I have avoided rugby for ds because of the serious nature of the injuries risked (had never heard of Prof Pollock). Cricket risks are managed as a rule by softening the ball and then with a helmet (or just playing a crap team with no pace attack Grin). Swimming risks are managed by having a lifeguard or just by watching your child.

I agree that splitting the players by weight would make a big difference to my assessment of the risks. Year 7/8 rugby must be between children who are 4'6" and those who aren't far off their adult size.

Sparklingbrook · 04/05/2015 15:27

The other thing that I am not sure about re Rugby is the jolly japes 'lads on tour' type stuff when they play for teams. Involving fancy dress and high jinks.

Mistigri · 04/05/2015 16:01

I partly agree with the OP...

Rugby isn't played at my children's secondary school so it's not an issue for me, but I did recently agree to keep my son off school (at his request) rather than do a sport which I felt exposed him to unreasonable levels of risk - the supervision was inadequate and he'd already sustained a soft-tissue injury in a previous session.

I'm not against risky sports - I'm a rock climber, my son races BMX bikes and does competition gymnastics, all of which are inherently risky. But (a) I'm satisfied that when he does these sports the risks are appropriately assessed and mitigated and (b) he is aware of and consents to taking the risk.

No child should be compelled to do a risky sport without their explicit consent.

StellaAlpina · 04/05/2015 16:12

Some adults enjoy team sports though i.e., office football and netball leagues.

re: jolly japes my mate set the halls fire alarm off when she left a plastic spatula on a hot hob because she was distracted by naked rugby players playing on the quad. Confused

Kewcumber · 04/05/2015 16:47

I don't think rugby should be compulsory. And I'm a big rugby fan and DS plays.

But Allyson Pollock doesn't do herself any favours when she uses tiny sample sizes, emotive language without backing it up with data and calling for a ban on high tackling when high tackling is illegal in the game.

The private schools operate more dangerous practices in my opinion - they bring in contact earlier along with rucking and mauling and scrums.

I would also doubt that the majority of school PE teachers are trained coaches.

I would like to see size grading like in NZ, schools only using trained coaches and rugby being optional (perhaps cross country as an equally unpleasant option in the winter!).

I don't think Allyson Pollock is possibly the best person to advocate for safer rugby because of her approach.

worridmum · 04/05/2015 16:56

at my school one boy was paralayzied playing football from a bad tackle I think we should totally ban football why risk more injuries when their are sports with no contact at like hiking and cross country running as all contact sports are risky and should totally be banned why are children forced to play contact

(btw i dont think it should be banned as their is risks with all contact sport even cycling is dangerous but no calls for that to be banned for children 3 people died cycling when i was at school (2 in my high school 1 in my brothers school)

Kewcumber · 04/05/2015 17:02

I don;t think NZ has has a rugby child paralysis incidence in 33 years (without looking it up so I could be slightly out) by the way.