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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be gopping mad at this woman who posted my DCs party invite on social media!?

526 replies

VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 14:02

I made some daft invites to look like magazine covers for DCs upcoming birthday to use up a load of old photo paper.

I found it odd that I was getting text message acceptances and requests to bring siblings from mothers of children I had never heard of- when quizzed the same name came up and a mention of a Social Networking site.

It turns out one of the mother's of a child in Dc's class took a photo of the invite (which had date/time/venue)on her wall and posted it on FB under an event (wtf?)

I've hired the venue out privately and am panicking the party will be ruined, we will end up in the local paper because 200 kids turn up wanted to be entertained and fed.

I asked the mother directly and she denied it and I have no proof (screen shot etc) although I am STILL getting texts

DC will be heartbroken if I cancel I just do not know what to do for the best. The last thing I'd want it having to stand by the venue door for 3 hours instead of joining in a celebrating a birthday- It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact my child will be 7 but this is the first time we've ever held a party.

Any advice on how to handle would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 03/05/2015 21:33

If the other mothers thought it was a public event why would they be texting the OP to confirm?

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 21:34

Bday parties are held there yes they offer this service but never privately and exclusive without members of the public having an open session too- there's normally segregation but you all pile in. Due to a complete fluke the public session cannot be held anymore which meant the whole place was ours for the duration of DCs party.

OP posts:
MarjoryStewartBaxter · 03/05/2015 21:36

They could have presumed OP's contact details were for someone at the venue?

MarjoryStewartBaxter · 03/05/2015 21:39

Cross post, that was a reply to YouTheCat

OP, might be worth just texting her something along the lines of "you do realise it's a private event and we've hired the venue exclusively?"

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 03/05/2015 21:41

Doesn't sound confusing at all. Envelope with child name on, containing invite with time date and RSVP details and picture of birthday child. Delivered at school gate, can you come to x party. It's kind of the least confusing thing ever :D

Op that woman is totally out of order but it sounds like she only invited a few of her friends. I'd text back all the numbers saying there's been a misunderstanding please do not come to this party, and get someone on the door.

What a bizarre situation to find yourself in. Also bizarre that people want to make out it's all your fault! Rather than the woman whose reaction to a perfectly straightforward request is to threaten to call the police!

zipzap · 03/05/2015 21:42

Blimey! It takes piss taking to stratospheric levels…

I've always thought it was cheeky to invite a sibling along to somebody else's party. And bringing a couple of siblings and/or family friend that's there etc was previous height of cheekiness.

But expecting to bring a whole 40 odd kids and their parents? Just jaw-dropping.

At least you got a heads up through the people texting you - can you imagine the chaos if her Facebook event post had said not to contact you but just to let her know numbers... And you knew nothing about it until 40 strangers turned up on the day...

MadeinSouthWest · 03/05/2015 21:42

The other mother thought you were having your DC's party at the same time as a public event at this sporting venue and you didn't bother to make your own invites you just used the flyer for the event.

You said that it was unusual to get exclusive use of the sporting venue so not an unreasonable assumption that there could be something else going on at the same time.

She decided this event was good timing as it coincided with her DC's party in the park and those who want to could go on to it after the park.

The only bonkers thing she has done is not to confess this when her mistake was pointed out and help you sort out the mess.

DisappointedOne · 03/05/2015 21:43

Bday parties are held there yes they offer this service but never privately and exclusive without members of the public having an open session too

So it's completely possible that she thought "that's a good idea" and intended to bring her guests to the open session. Given how little info you've put on the invites, it's not beyond the realms of possibility.

CuttingOutTheCrap · 03/05/2015 21:44

I reckon she misunderstood - yes, she knew it was your dcs birthday because you told her, but you mention that it's unusual for a party to get sole use of the venue.

I'd bet she assumed there's an open day kind of thing going on, that you are having the birthday party in the same venue as, and participating in, the bigger (public) open day and has decided to piggyback on the open day aspect. (Cheeky, but not quite as much as deliberately hijacking a private party!) But assuming you've now specifically told her you have sole use for the day, she needs to put this right, pronto!

DisappointedOne · 03/05/2015 21:44

Doesn't sound confusing at all. Envelope with child name on, containing invite with time date and RSVP details and picture of birthday child. Delivered at school gate, can you come to x party. It's kind of the least confusing thing ever

What happens to envelopes in your house then? Here they go in the recycling..............

beckworth · 03/05/2015 21:45

Except, why would the event flyer have a picture of the OP's child on it? The people RSVP'ing obviously realised it wasn't a public event or they wouldn't have RSVP'd and asked if they could bring siblings!

Variousrandomthings · 03/05/2015 21:46

SDG - lots of people bombard me with lots of things on the school run and it is pot luck if I remember something mumbled in passing! And yes things get half opened, separated from envelopes, shoved in book bags, forgotten and then rediscovered days later. Saying that I'm not too disorganised considering my mild dyslexia. It's fine as long as everything's written down and clear.

OP the best thing you can do is laugh about it. Turn it into a joke! I'm convinced it was a misunderstanding and it would be quite malicious to turn it into something bigger.

The lady really should have apologised and explained that she was confused.

YouTheCat · 03/05/2015 21:48

But the woman's child was invited to the party, by invitation. If she was presuming the extras she had invited were going to a public event there would be no need for them to phone the OP or the venue, they would just be able to turn up on the day.

Variousrandomthings · 03/05/2015 21:49

Actually i do sometimes receive flyers in envelopes!

balletgirlmum · 03/05/2015 21:50

And I am assuming that even if there was an open session on at the venue there would be an admission charge?

DisappointedOne · 03/05/2015 21:51

They've seen a flyer asking for RSVPs to a particular number, hence RSVPing to the number............

YouTheCat · 03/05/2015 21:53

And asking if they can bring siblings? Really? I think some of you are clutching at straws.

DisappointedOne · 03/05/2015 21:55

They are presumably the people invited to the park picnic for the other child's birthday...............

YouTheCat · 03/05/2015 22:00

So they'd ask the woman who invited them (who obviously has them all on facebook).

DoJo · 03/05/2015 22:01

Bday parties are held there yes they offer this service but never privately and exclusive without members of the public having an open session too- there's normally segregation but you all pile in.

I think this does change the interpretation of events somewhat, and I agree that it sounds like a misunderstanding over the nature of the event - if the venue never normally hosts private events, then I can see how she thought that the open event which normally runs alongside private parties would be a good place for her son's friends to go after their gathering in the park. If she still thinks that you are trying to stop her friends from coming to an open session running alongside the party, then that would explain why she's so chippy about it.

DoJo · 03/05/2015 22:07

And asking if they can bring siblings? Really? I think some of you are clutching at straws.

The texters might still ask if it was ok to bring siblings given that there is the whole park arrangement beforehand. Presumably they think they are RSVPing to the park at the same time, unless she posted a separate FB event for that, which nobody seems to know because the OP hasn't seen it.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 22:07

If you were going to a sports venue for a day you'd just turn up and pay- you'd certainly look at a flier for prices/age restrictions etc?

And yes of course there's an admission charge for public open session- usually the birthday party have a sectioned off bit and a couple of trainers helping with the kids.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 03/05/2015 22:16

Why text instead of replying on facebook though? The crazy woman posted the event on facebook.

MyDogEatsBalloons · 03/05/2015 22:17

It does sound (to me) like the woman got the wrong end of the stick and thought it was a flyer for a public event that you were going to for your child's birthday. As you didn't actually state on the invitation (that you admit didn't really look like a conventional invitation) that it was for just the one specific child, she's assumed it's open to all, and it would be a good idea for her party guests as well. It sounds like these extra 'guests' think they're either replying to her, or to the venue.

She's stupid to deny all knowledge now though.

Lweji · 03/05/2015 22:22

All this woman had to do was to post on her FB that it had been a mistake once she had realised what happened. If that was the case...

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