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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be gopping mad at this woman who posted my DCs party invite on social media!?

526 replies

VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 14:02

I made some daft invites to look like magazine covers for DCs upcoming birthday to use up a load of old photo paper.

I found it odd that I was getting text message acceptances and requests to bring siblings from mothers of children I had never heard of- when quizzed the same name came up and a mention of a Social Networking site.

It turns out one of the mother's of a child in Dc's class took a photo of the invite (which had date/time/venue)on her wall and posted it on FB under an event (wtf?)

I've hired the venue out privately and am panicking the party will be ruined, we will end up in the local paper because 200 kids turn up wanted to be entertained and fed.

I asked the mother directly and she denied it and I have no proof (screen shot etc) although I am STILL getting texts

DC will be heartbroken if I cancel I just do not know what to do for the best. The last thing I'd want it having to stand by the venue door for 3 hours instead of joining in a celebrating a birthday- It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact my child will be 7 but this is the first time we've ever held a party.

Any advice on how to handle would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
beckworth · 03/05/2015 22:33

I reckon mydogeatsballoons is right, but I still think that makes her both daft and cheeky. She missed the fact that it was the OP's child in the picture, didn't wonder why there was a mobile number on the flyer....and she knew it was intended to be a birthday party for OP's son (because it was explained to her when she was given the envelope), so what was she going to do, turn up with a birthday present for OP's child, and 40 other random children?! 'Oh sorry, just thought we'd tag our own party on to yours?'

bloodyteenagers · 03/05/2015 22:37

Oh come on, of course she knew what she was doing.
The op has stated several times that she asked the cheeky cow, who denied everything.. The first mention was the time cheeky woman could have fessed up. She didn't.
When the op asked further, she was threatened with police involvement, if op would send cheeky woman's mates back.

Really? She's an innocent person who was confused?

No she is a cheeky woman who is either trying to piggy back the party, or worse trying to get the op to cancel so she can swoop in.

Don't cancel op.

All text reply saying, no you are not invited. It's a private birthday party. Unless you have been invited by me ( state your name) then don't bother comi as security will turn you away.

I would also actually create a fb account, public profile, just for this. Get any mutual mates to share with her mates to let them know publicly don't show up. You ain't invited.

DoJo · 03/05/2015 22:40

Why text instead of replying on facebook though?

Because, presumably, the flier said 'RSVP to this number' so people did! I'm not saying that it wasn't a stupid mistake or that she shouldn't have been thoroughly apologetic to the OP, but I can see how the original mistake wasn't necessarily quite as outrageously cheeky and presumptuous as it first appeared. She may just have suggested it for those who were coming to the park as something that they could do afterwards rather than actually realising that they would effectively be gatecrashing a party.

momtothree · 03/05/2015 22:40

Cheeky cow! Why didnt she just apologise v sorry will help sort .... oh and sorry DS wasnt invited to DC birthday but thought we`d all tag along to yours anyway ..... serious faux par

WillowKnicks · 03/05/2015 22:47

Hmm so presents (just for HER DS presumably) in the park (free) & then all rock up to your sporting venue. CHEEKY MARE!!!!!!

YouTheCat · 03/05/2015 23:00

So why photograph the birthday invitation and use it as a photo on an event on facebook? That's not done by mistake.

IrmaGuard · 03/05/2015 23:04

So the invitations look like fliers, don't have the name of the birthday child on it and don't have the name of the invited recipient. It does sound strangely ambiguous.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/05/2015 23:08

OK - if you accept that it could be a mistake - I have forgotten the OP had said it was her child's party, I lost the envelope and, the next time I came across the flyer, I thought it was for a public event, so I thought it would be a good way to end my child's party.

Even if we accept all of that (which seems a bit of a stretch to me), surely, when the OP told me I'd made a mistake - a big mistake - and had invited a load of random kids to someone else's party, I would be hugely apologetic, I'd explain the mistake I'd made, and I would promise to sort it out.

This woman's behaviour - denying she had created the FB event, ignoring the OP's texts, deleting the page and saying her child wouldn't be at the party - to me, that adds up to guilty conscience. I think she knew it was not a public event but thought she'd chance her arm.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/05/2015 23:15

No mistake made at all - she was being a cheeky brassnecked cow who thought she could get away with it.

IF she or anyone else thought it was a public event, they wouldn't have RSVPd.
Even if they did RSVP, they wouldn't have ASKED if they could bring siblings.
IF it was a mistake, brassneckwoman would have been morto and apologetic when OP pointed it out to her - she wasn't.

She's been caught out, she's pissed off and the police comment was just ridiculous as, as someone else pointed out, it would be her OWN FRIENDS who would be contacting her for reasons as to why they couldn't get into an event that SHE had advertised.

MetallicBeige · 03/05/2015 23:16

If it's anything like a local ski/snow place nearby, the public have use of it and they also run parties throughout the day. Either way you have to pay for entry/or the party hosts have prepaid for their guests. Everyone is aware of that.
What on earth was she expecting? That you wouldn't notice 10-20 extras?! Some people are actually that cheeky unfortunately.

MumsyPumsy · 03/05/2015 23:24

Is Myleen Klasse going to be there?

IrmaGuard · 03/05/2015 23:25

I'd name FB woman in the reply texts. As in "Ethel Smith* has advertised this party on her FB page. It is a private party only intended for invited guests. Uninvited guests will not be admitted". Let cheeky Ethel deal with her friends and the fall out.

*If her name is really Ethel Smith let me know. I'll buy a lottery ticket.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 03/05/2015 23:41

I'm sorry op but I have to agree, I think there's been a massive misunderstanding on both sides and she's furious with you for apparently changing an event or not making it clear that it was private in the first place. She's probably embarrassed but has decided to blame you for the cock up rather than admit that she shouldn't have made it public without checking that it actually was. If you say the event would usually be public it's not a difficult mistake to make. It's now been blown out of proportion by her embarrassment and your assumption that she did it deliberately. If you put rsvp to your number no wonder people are texting you.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 04/05/2015 00:05

Misadora, aren't you missing a huge point here and that's posting my DCs invite with their photo and my contact details on it too- she was totally out of order doing that.

OP posts:
beezlebop · 04/05/2015 00:08

Hello Vodka, I have never heard the like! Innocent misunderstanding or not, she certainly should help sort the mess out but that's unlikely I would've thought! Do you have suitable big people to ask? That'll sort it. And have a big ð??ºð??ºð??º after and avoid her at all costs! Some of the stuff on the School run really is Machiavellian, madness or just plain stupidity in all their forms xxx.

beezlebop · 04/05/2015 00:09

Lol, I meant Wine Wine Wine Wine Wine

Lweji · 04/05/2015 00:09
OrlandoWoolf · 04/05/2015 00:13

See - this is the reason my Dad won't use Facebook. He thinks his house will get burgled on holiday or a party of his will get gatecrashed. Grin

I think he's read too many FB stories in the Daily Mail.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 04/05/2015 00:28

Well Orlando I guess it wouldn't have mattered whether I'm a FB user or not- it was all out of my hands. Bless your dad.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/05/2015 02:56

The EVENT would not usually be public because it is a child's PARTY.

The VENUE would usually allow the general public in AS WELL to the VENUE but not to the PARTY, which would be in a separate section.

Brassneck woman invited other people to the PARTY. NOT to the venue.

KoalaDownUnder · 04/05/2015 03:13

Okay, putting this on Facebook was some kind of lunacy. But why don't you just make up a group text and send it to all the eleven random RSVPers. Say it's a private party for your son, Child X, it was posted on FB in error, and if you didn't receive a paper invitation then you're not invited - please pass it on. Done.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/05/2015 03:20

Oh I wouldn't tell them her DS's name though!

whatawhoppa · 04/05/2015 03:55

Create your own event on fb, post your flier with an amended address, her address. Let her deal with 200 disappointed kids, and then deny all knowledge. What an utter bell

KoalaDownUnder · 04/05/2015 04:46

Good point, ThumbWitch! Okay, without your son's name, OP.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 04/05/2015 08:02

I responded to each and every text saying exactly that- " you're mistaken- it's a private party only people who've been personally invited by me will attend"

We shall see if she made it more public than just her friends on Saturday

OP posts: