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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be gopping mad at this woman who posted my DCs party invite on social media!?

526 replies

VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 14:02

I made some daft invites to look like magazine covers for DCs upcoming birthday to use up a load of old photo paper.

I found it odd that I was getting text message acceptances and requests to bring siblings from mothers of children I had never heard of- when quizzed the same name came up and a mention of a Social Networking site.

It turns out one of the mother's of a child in Dc's class took a photo of the invite (which had date/time/venue)on her wall and posted it on FB under an event (wtf?)

I've hired the venue out privately and am panicking the party will be ruined, we will end up in the local paper because 200 kids turn up wanted to be entertained and fed.

I asked the mother directly and she denied it and I have no proof (screen shot etc) although I am STILL getting texts

DC will be heartbroken if I cancel I just do not know what to do for the best. The last thing I'd want it having to stand by the venue door for 3 hours instead of joining in a celebrating a birthday- It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact my child will be 7 but this is the first time we've ever held a party.

Any advice on how to handle would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
strawberry01 · 03/05/2015 19:27

Send out (plain) invites again to everyone.

MadamG · 03/05/2015 19:30

Sounds utterly insane. I think I'd let Her phone the police, I can't imagine them being to impressed at her

SquareTheCircle · 03/05/2015 19:31

Is FB-mum hoping you cancel the party so she can swoop in and grab the cancellation for her child's party? That's the only possible explanation I can think of for such bizarre behaviour. If so I would do as said above. Hold the party, but with some friends on the door checking names off a list.

LateNightFury · 03/05/2015 19:42

Omg, how wierd! Any chance she got mixed up, papers on June table etc and she thought it was an open flyer and not the invite?

blushingbooty · 03/05/2015 19:44

Wow I wonder if she's a mnetter and has just got a really embarrassing shock at seeing how appalling her behaviour is. Contact the venue, they may well have suggestions- even might suggest cancelling. If your number is on the message have you googled it?

orangutanhihio · 03/05/2015 19:45

Why don't you phone some of the unknown respondents op? If you've had 11 then I'm sure someone will answer! Then clarify where/whom they got the details from. Once you know, you can reiterate politely that it's not a sports centre open day, it is a private party...

letscookbreakfast · 03/05/2015 19:49

I think she's realised what a cunt she's been and by mentioning harassment she's hoping that you'll back off.

I wouldn't though, get to the bottom of it and make sure everyone else knows what she's done.

Mrsstarlord · 03/05/2015 19:53

I don't understand the need to create new Facebook accounts / change date etc. Why not just ask the respondents that you haven't invited where they saw the invitation, explain that you want to clarify to a wider audience so there isn't any misunderstanding.

Put a brief sign on the door to the effect of the one mentioned above.

Ceic · 03/05/2015 19:56

I think the op told her unknown respondants that they weren't invited but some answered "I saw it on Facebook" as if that meant they actually were.

Ceic · 03/05/2015 19:56

Back to the op.

40 kids invited! Definitely talk to the venue.

Maybe they can help you with an official physical paper ticket, get it laminated and hung on lanyards. You hand them out. No lanyard, no entry.

LIZS · 03/05/2015 19:58

If you don't want to speak to the responders again , text them all , same text including the other mum- sorry for misunderstanding but you would like to confirm that there has been a mistake , the party is a private event by personal invitation only and could they add that to any fb entry.

LIZS · 03/05/2015 20:00

This a great idea celc, make it a ticket only event with mocked up entry tickets.

monkeysaymoo · 03/05/2015 20:01

God I bet she is absolutely cringing with embarrassment and instead of holding her hands up has gone on the defensive instead.

Psipsina · 03/05/2015 20:23

When you replied to the unknown people, did you actually say who you are? Because it sounds as though they think they are talking to HER.

So of course they will be confused and say 'but I saw it on FB', as in, her FB. They think you're her.

You have to say who you are, and that there has been a mix up, or they will think they are texting her.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/05/2015 20:26

Vodka - a previous poster mentioned sending out a second invitation - if you have time to do that, it might be the best idea. Make it very different to the original, and say that people only get in with the second invite.

As this cheeky mum has said her ds won't be there, she won't need a second invitation, so there's no chance of a repetition of her, frankly appalling behaviour!

Andylion · 03/05/2015 20:29
  • it sounds as though they think they are talking to HER.

So of course they will be confused and say 'but I saw it on FB', as in, her FB. They think you're her.*

I think they think they're talking/texting the venue.

Psipsina · 03/05/2015 20:33

No I think perhaps not because they are naming their children as they 'accept'. As though they are personal friends of the woman who shared the invitation.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 03/05/2015 20:33

How extraordinarily odd. OP I hope you make some headway into figuring out all this weirdness.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 20:37

Pico you were RIGHT! Omg!

Perhaps clarity. Text from previous mum I don't know who said her dc was a yes informed me that she was invited by the lady who posted invite on FB to the park first for play/presents and picnic for her child's Bday party THEN to the sporting venue for MY DCs party, so she must indeed have thought I'd think it was fine for her to turn up with a gang of kids and parents!!!!!!??

The cheek of it.

I'm saying no more and will inform the venue and let the staff deal with it. I'd half a mind to charge the fuckers £20 a kid.

This venue is an 30 minutes drive from our town imagine that! I cannot believe the guile of some people

OP posts:
Variousrandomthings · 03/05/2015 20:37

Did all the invites have the children's names actually written on the actual invite? Invites usually do. If you passed out an invite without it having 'x is inviting z to his party', then there is room for confusion. Pick up time is usually very hectic, noisy and distracting and so verbal instructions might have got lost in the chaos.

rednsparkley · 03/05/2015 20:41

Perhaps clarity. Text from previous mum I don't know who said her dc was a yes informed me that she was invited by the lady who posted invite on FB to the park first for play/presents and picnic for her child's Bday party THEN to the sporting venue for MY DCs party, so she must indeed have thought I'd think it was fine for her to turn up with a gang of kids and parents!!!!!!??

This is just unbelievable!! I am gobsmacked that anyone would EVER think that this was an acceptable way to behave Shock

Psipsina · 03/05/2015 20:41

Oh my good lord. See it makes sense now, she's FUMING that you've 'embarrassed' her by telling her mates they aren't invited to your party...how very dare you! Grin

What an absolute beeatch. Who needs enemies eh?

LIZS · 03/05/2015 20:45

I also think you need to let the other mum know that she should let inform everyone she has invited to her picnic (which evidently doesn't include your dc) that the sport event is not open to them. Could still be confusing if some of your guests were also invited to her picnic. Issue confirmation tickets to those who accept your invitation.

KirstyJC · 03/05/2015 20:46

Wow - I can't work out how some people's minds work - did she really think she would get away with that? If you can, I would post on her FB - making it clear that she had no authority to invite anyone, that anyone she invited would not be allowed in, and then send her a link to some Brasso to clean that neck of hers....

And tell the venue to be on the lookout and give them a list of names that ARE invited.

I would also make it clear to her, by text or FB, that you know exactly what she has done, and that she lied about it, and that it will be on her head if people get cross. And that you're taking legal advice about whether she has broken privacy laws by making your personal mobile number available online...(OK that might be BS but she won't know that, will she?)

Variousrandomthings · 03/05/2015 20:48

It sounds like a misunderstanding to me. She obviously thought the event was a public rather then private affair. I do think it's utterly stupid to give verbal instructions about a party at pickup/drop off. It's too hectic! Invites usually have full details written down, including who the invitation is actually addressed to.