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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be gopping mad at this woman who posted my DCs party invite on social media!?

526 replies

VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 14:02

I made some daft invites to look like magazine covers for DCs upcoming birthday to use up a load of old photo paper.

I found it odd that I was getting text message acceptances and requests to bring siblings from mothers of children I had never heard of- when quizzed the same name came up and a mention of a Social Networking site.

It turns out one of the mother's of a child in Dc's class took a photo of the invite (which had date/time/venue)on her wall and posted it on FB under an event (wtf?)

I've hired the venue out privately and am panicking the party will be ruined, we will end up in the local paper because 200 kids turn up wanted to be entertained and fed.

I asked the mother directly and she denied it and I have no proof (screen shot etc) although I am STILL getting texts

DC will be heartbroken if I cancel I just do not know what to do for the best. The last thing I'd want it having to stand by the venue door for 3 hours instead of joining in a celebrating a birthday- It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact my child will be 7 but this is the first time we've ever held a party.

Any advice on how to handle would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Variousrandomthings · 05/05/2015 19:20

Is your DH a nutter? What kind of person texts pretending to be someone else? How childish and ridiculous. I think you should both calm down and give her the benefit if he doubt

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 19:30

No various- he's not. I think a nutter would've made a big public announcement on FB naming and shaming her. I think a nutter would've gone to her house to ask her what the hell was going on. Seeing as she's gone completely dark on us and is refusing to answer now several texts. He wanted to be filled in a bit.

You must be very sheltered if you consider his the actions of a nutter instead of someone who's frustrated.

OP posts:
CapnMurica · 05/05/2015 19:30

Various....are you the other mum?! You seem very invested in defending her actions. Although I do agree the DH was mad texting everyone.

findingmyfeet12 · 05/05/2015 19:34

I hope you update us after the party. I know I sound tragic but I genuinely would like to know how it pans out.

letscookbreakfast · 05/05/2015 19:36

You really think that the OP's DH is the nutter in this situation?

Give me strength.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 19:37

Capn- Dh texted ONE person....ONE!!!!!!!!!!
I'm wondering if various IS the mum in question. Very defensive.

OP posts:
Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 19:39

Thank you letscookbreakfast I don't think my actions have been over the top. I was originally really furious my personal details and photo had been plastered all over social media and it turns out there's likely to have been more going on.

OP posts:
findingmyfeet12 · 05/05/2015 19:41

You seem to be good at making fliers - why not make a few hundred advertising a free picnic in the park (all ages welcome)... Wink

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 05/05/2015 19:42

Agree that the person who replied to DH might well have been referring to the thing in the park.

As she's not coming to yours any more presumably she is going ahead with the park thing with the FB people.

Variousrandomthings · 05/05/2015 19:47

I think both you and the lady have behaved in an over the top manner actually

findingmyfeet12 · 05/05/2015 19:57

How has the op behaved in an over the top manner?

She asked the lady about the open invites as any normal person would do. The other lady chose to then lie about it and eventually to stop communicating with her.

If this happened to me I'd also speak to the other person about it and try to iron out the issues. She couldn't ignore it and let lots of uninvited guests turn up and ruin her child's party.

MissDuke · 05/05/2015 20:00

Op I was one of many posters who said this had to be a misunderstanding. That is looking less and less likely, isn't it Confused crazy! I completely disagree with those saying you have done anything wrong.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 20:01

How exactly Various?
There's no way I was going to cancel.

OP posts:
TheRestofmylifeiswaiting · 05/05/2015 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 20:08

Not able to amend time as there's a session before us (small) and they'll be cleared out ten minutes before us.

OP posts:
Hypotenuse · 05/05/2015 20:15

Oh good lord this is an astonishing read! I admit I would be one to have an invite in my bag, mistake it for a flyer and see if some friends wanted to come along. I'm very dippy.

But the second I was made aware of my mistake I would be mortified and desperate to fix it! Because although I am dippy, I am not an arsehole or a crazy person. I expect most people would react the same to accidentally gate crashing a young kid's birthday party.

I have recently encountered a horrifically grabby, entitled person. They do exist.

spababe · 05/05/2015 20:15

Anyone else dream about this? I dreampt I was holding a dinner party and half an hour after starting people started turning up and I did not know who they were. I was trying to find them all chairs and explain there was not enough food to go round!!!

I feel your pain, OP!

redexpat · 05/05/2015 20:23

Is this the return of the clumsy saga? Are you sure you didnt have a discussion with the other mum where you agreed to share the party?

I really hope people saw that thread otherwise I sound really odd.

KoalaDownUnder · 05/05/2015 20:24

I'm so confused. Confused

I thought you texted back to all of the uninvited people who had RSVPd 'yes', and said 'Don't come, it's a private party', etc. So why would your DH's text to this woman make any sense?

Imscarlet · 05/05/2015 20:37

She texted back from her number all of the uninvited people.
Today her DH, from his phone texted one of the 'uninvited' pretending to be the mum who posted the flyer, having gotten a new number to 'see' if her child was still coming and the 'uninvited mum' said yes her child was.
Presumably they were hoping to get a message back saying that they had been told that there was a mix up and thought they weren't invited to some other child's party.

OP, I'd be very tempted to create a Facebook profile and befriend this person to see what exactly is on her wall. Not to mind texting someone.

PiratePanda · 05/05/2015 20:38

Delurking. I think this is the weirdest and most awkward social conundrum I've ever seen on MN and that's really saying something

OP you've done nothing wrong, not even your DH pretending to be lunatic lady. Even if it were, intitially, a misunderstanding (and I doubt that), she has done nothing to correct it, and the thought of god-knows-how-many random strangers turning up to your DS' party must be causing you a great deal of anxiety.

I can't remember in the 13 or so pages so far - but have you told the venue? You really must.

StupidBloodyKindle · 05/05/2015 20:44

yes redexpat twas what I thought of but you have a better memory than me. Was addicted to that one too.

bloodyteenagers · 05/05/2015 21:04

Party in the park you Say? On Saturday. Check the weather. Although she has said she is no longer coming, they might all still turn up by stealth. Weather is not party on the park.

StackladysMorphicResonator · 05/05/2015 21:08

This is excellently entertaining! And Various is definitely either the other mum or someone who knows her. How exciting!

lem73 · 05/05/2015 21:15

This is one of the strangest stories I've read on MN. The Op has certainly done wrong