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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be gopping mad at this woman who posted my DCs party invite on social media!?

526 replies

VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 14:02

I made some daft invites to look like magazine covers for DCs upcoming birthday to use up a load of old photo paper.

I found it odd that I was getting text message acceptances and requests to bring siblings from mothers of children I had never heard of- when quizzed the same name came up and a mention of a Social Networking site.

It turns out one of the mother's of a child in Dc's class took a photo of the invite (which had date/time/venue)on her wall and posted it on FB under an event (wtf?)

I've hired the venue out privately and am panicking the party will be ruined, we will end up in the local paper because 200 kids turn up wanted to be entertained and fed.

I asked the mother directly and she denied it and I have no proof (screen shot etc) although I am STILL getting texts

DC will be heartbroken if I cancel I just do not know what to do for the best. The last thing I'd want it having to stand by the venue door for 3 hours instead of joining in a celebrating a birthday- It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact my child will be 7 but this is the first time we've ever held a party.

Any advice on how to handle would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
TheEponymousGrub · 04/05/2015 20:42

Here's another reason why it can hardly be a misunderstanding. The other mother must have texted the op to accept the invitation on behalf of her child. So she DID know that was the op's mobile number. What did she write in her acceptance text?

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 04/05/2015 21:17

Grub she wrote "Thomas can come thanks, Thomas's mum"

I still HAVE the text!!!!!!
-goes into screen shot frenzy!-

OP posts:
Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 04/05/2015 21:18

Ps name changed so as to avoid outing.Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 04/05/2015 21:23

I asked dc today if he knew about the lady's dc (Thomas) having a birthday party coming up soon and he said nobody had mentioned any party for Thomas- Dh said earlier if Thomas is having a bash wouldn't half of the class be going to that?

OP posts:
EmpressOfJurisfiction · 04/05/2015 22:46

And I think this has been said before, but if the woman thought she was inviting people to a public event OP wouldn't be getting requests to bring siblings.

Variousrandomthings · 05/05/2015 13:26

I'm sure there's a simple explanation for the misunderstanding/confusion. Not worth getting your knickers in a twist

PurpleCrazyHorse · 05/05/2015 13:32

I think she's stolen your birthday party idea and thought she can tag hers into the public session alongside yours (and probably sneak her invitees across into the party area to take advantage of your food/cake/instructors). She's used your fancy invite not realising/remembering that your mobile number is on it and has now been caught out.

She would have got away with it if she'd blanked out your phone number and if there was a public session running alongside. You'd have no heads up and a load of random people in your party area, I'm sure of it. As it happens, you've had the RSVPs and there's no public session for them to come to.

I think the numbers she's told are limited but I'd call her on it, say there's no public session, it's private hire, and you'll be directing her friends back to her. I wouldn't tell the venue as they're not running a public session, so it's likely they'll have members of the public they're turning away anyway. I'd place a list of guests on the door and supervise arrivals before parents drop and run. Depending on numbers, maybe ask your invitees to bring their invites to hand over on arrival. If she's this brazen, then her friends might also try to drop little Jimmy and drive off before you have chance to stop them (although in this circumstance I'd report the child as lost).

Redlocks28 · 05/05/2015 13:40

When is the party?

Presumably you rang or text the people who replied to you immediately back (the ones that weren't invited) to explain the situation?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/05/2015 14:05

Redlocks - the OP said, I responded to each and every text saying exactly that- " you're mistaken- it's a private party only people who've been personally invited by me will attend"

letscookbreakfast · 05/05/2015 14:10

I'm sorry but I can't wrap my head around it being a misunderstanding unless the mother is thick, the whole thing seems deliberate.

Redlocks28 · 05/05/2015 14:38

Thanks, I missed that. Did any of those people reply apologising profusely for misunderstanding?

I don't know of anyone that would reply to a party like this-something is photographed and then set up as an event on someone's facebook page which other people would see and then reply, to a phone number by text?!

Either it's sent out as an invitation (which is handed to you or your child) or it's an event sent from the person's own Facebook page to which you accept the request and it shows up as you're attending the event on THAT person's FB page!

Neither of these are the case.

I think it sounds more like the woman and/or her friends are deliberately messing with the OP. Is there a history of not getting on with them?

gruffaloshmuffalo · 05/05/2015 15:11

Oh my gosh! I cant believe the brass neck of people

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/05/2015 15:13

"I'm sure there's a simple explanation for the misunderstanding/confusion. Not worth getting your knickers in a twist"

Yes, there is a simple explanation - the woman has appalling brass neck and was trying to piggyback onto the OP's party. There Was No Misunderstanding.

MarjoryStewartBaxter · 05/05/2015 15:29

I was originally coming down on the side of misunderstanding, but if she replied to you on the number in the invite then she knew she was posting your contact details Confused

Are you likely to see her at school this week? Can you corner her and ask face to face why she posted your DS's invite on facebook?

StackladysMorphicResonator · 05/05/2015 15:38

This is astonishing - the woman is barking mad/outrageously cheeky/a complete cow! Those posters trying to suggest this may have been a mistake - erm, not likely! And if it had been, the other child's mum would've surely explained and apologised profusely?

MadAboutMathsMum · 05/05/2015 15:48

If it were a misunderstanding surely facebook mum would have phoned the venue to pay for all her party invitees and been told a private event was already taking place?

WipsGlitter · 05/05/2015 15:58

Have you seen her at school this week yet?

Rousebarnlane · 05/05/2015 17:20

I haven't read the whole thread, but surely the simplest solution is to

POSTPONE THE EVENT TO ANOTHER DATE

and this time don't invite the lady in question.

If the venue wail about cancellation charges tell them it's their responsibility then to deal with the influx of hundreds of uninvited gatecrashers. Mention teenagers/raves/drugs/health and safety. That will get the venue manager's knickers in a twist and I bet they cancel and re-arrange for you then.

OhWotIsItThisTime · 05/05/2015 17:43

She can't postpone Rouse, it's a fluke the venue's had a space.

Give the venue a list of names and tell them not to let anyone else in.

DisappointedOne · 05/05/2015 17:43

Rousebarnlane

Drugs and teenagers?! Read the thread.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 17:59

Hi- I've been waiting on pins all day and she wasn't at the pick up!

I know this is bad and I will get judged for it but hey ho.

Given that the texters were all quiet after I tried to get some clarity on why they were invited. DH texted one of them and prefaced with "This is XXXX (woman is question) I've got a new phone- just checking you can make Saturday"

He got an instant reply with "Yes XXXX is coming" Then we chickened out of saying anything else Grin

Still not 100% sure what the whole plan was in photographing the invite, still not sure with regard to her response when I asked politely- fairly sure we won't get any bother on Saturday but four dads and my DH there on hand should anything occur- oh and DH's mother who is a dragon- nobody will mess with her and pretty sure I won't see her on the school run this week and my DC has said again he is not having a party, that is to say nobody from the class invited to anything- unless they are all sworn to secrecy! And in answer to an earlier question, she doesn't seem the type at all to be cheeky and grabby.

I'm not too worried now about the outcome(Having spent days frothing at the mouth). I cannot be bothered to pursue her but I am raging mad she made the whole thing public, invite and all.

Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 17:59

sorry if that's a garbled- in a bit of a rush this evening!

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/05/2015 18:08

The person he texted might just think the text referred to the picnic in the park.

Glad to hear you have reinforcements lined up, for the party!

Imscarlet · 05/05/2015 18:08

Could you have the normal entrance shut off and have your guests come in a side entrance? Tip the guests off beforehand. Sign on the door saying 'closed for private party.' List of names on the side door.

findingmyfeet12 · 05/05/2015 19:02

Even if I thought this was a public venue, I still wouldn't invite others along knowing that my child had been invited to share another child's event. It could never be socially acceptable to bring your own "gang" along to another's party even in a public venue. It would cause so much awkwardness and be so unfair to the other child.