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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be gopping mad at this woman who posted my DCs party invite on social media!?

526 replies

VodkaVomitANDPoo · 03/05/2015 14:02

I made some daft invites to look like magazine covers for DCs upcoming birthday to use up a load of old photo paper.

I found it odd that I was getting text message acceptances and requests to bring siblings from mothers of children I had never heard of- when quizzed the same name came up and a mention of a Social Networking site.

It turns out one of the mother's of a child in Dc's class took a photo of the invite (which had date/time/venue)on her wall and posted it on FB under an event (wtf?)

I've hired the venue out privately and am panicking the party will be ruined, we will end up in the local paper because 200 kids turn up wanted to be entertained and fed.

I asked the mother directly and she denied it and I have no proof (screen shot etc) although I am STILL getting texts

DC will be heartbroken if I cancel I just do not know what to do for the best. The last thing I'd want it having to stand by the venue door for 3 hours instead of joining in a celebrating a birthday- It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact my child will be 7 but this is the first time we've ever held a party.

Any advice on how to handle would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 05/05/2015 21:31

As if people are trying to come up with ways of this being a misunderstanding.

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 21:48

Thanks Lem- really useful.
I'll pop round hers tomorrow with a blank cheque and tell her it's all on me and whilst I'm at it I'll dance for her in something glittery- seeing as she's been so hard done by.
_sigh-

OP posts:
lem73 · 05/05/2015 22:15

Sorry Op that was a mistake. I was typing while my 12 year old was nagging me. I meant to say you had done NOTHING wrong. Tbh what I actually typed didn't really make sense either so while I have read this thread and been sympathetic to you I think you are being a bit oversensitive.
My honest opinion is this woman is probably one of the cheekiest cows I've ever heard of. I think it is quite easily to tell the would be gatecrashers who have texted you to piss off. On the day of the party have someone stand on the door with a guest list. Only those on the list can get in.
Ds (15) has a friend who recently organized a party in a community centre. She only invited certain people. Unfortunately someone shared the invitation publicly on Facebook. Her dad stood at the door and turned away anyone not on the list. They were teenagers not mums with little kids so I'm sure you can easily deal with it on the day.

ChangingTiming · 05/05/2015 22:17

OP YANBU
Various is, and prob the wierd mum who invited others, then is trying to save face, OP you have done nothing wrong

RustyParker · 05/05/2015 22:44

Hmm, so your DS said cheeky cow's DS hasn't mentioned anything about him having a party.

Then the woman who replied to your DH's text saying she's still on for the party probably does mean your DS's party...

Sadly, there are people out there who know no shame

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 05/05/2015 22:46

Lem I do apologiseSmile
And I agree- I'm super sensitive at the minute but blasé is around the corner and itches to come out.

OP posts:
SoldierBear · 05/05/2015 23:02

Various has to be The other mum.
Apart from the defensiveness she called her a "lady" which she clearly ain't. Rude, grabby, cheeky cow - yes. Brazen attitude, unhelpful - indeed. Lady - ruled out by all of the above.

Gralick · 05/05/2015 23:05

You seem to be good at making fliers - why not make a few hundred advertising a free picnic in the park (all ages welcome)...

Haha, this is the BEST idea yet!!! Do it!

Gralick · 05/05/2015 23:10

... or at the "other lady's" house Grin

BuyMeAPony · 06/05/2015 03:45

Hasnt your DH introduced some ambiguity here? Presumably the texting people thought it was off after they'd heard from you and now think it's on again. Word might spread. We don't know that the text recipient was referring to the picnic. . Don't get sucked into prolonging the saga to satisfy our voracious appetite for updates. actually please do

I hope it all works out. Such an odd situation.

IrmaGuard · 06/05/2015 06:22

There's a whiff of the liftzilla here, though - i.e. a situation that should have been relatively easy to nip in the bud instead being prolonged. I would have spoken to each uninvited 'acceptance' instead of texting, just to be really clear. And having DH send a text masquerading as fb woman is quite pointlessly game playing.

TapDancingMollusc · 06/05/2015 06:48

I agree with Irma

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/05/2015 06:54

Irma - the OP doesn't know the ininvited people! Her text was pretty clear, why would she rack up her phonebill calling unknown people? And she can't speak to them face to face if she doesn't know them, can she.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/05/2015 06:54

I agree about the DH's text though - that was just water-muddying.

IrmaGuard · 06/05/2015 07:04

I know she doesn't know the texters, but she has their numbers from their texts and I would rather have called them back and racked up the cost than have my dcs party ruined. And none have them have texted back after the ops 'you're not invited' text to be clear on what exactly is going on?

Lesausage · 06/05/2015 07:24

The madfacebookmum is crazy and wanted to basically sponge a free party :/ some people are crazy

I hope your dc has a good party

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 06/05/2015 07:42

IrmaGuard
There's a whiff of the liftzilla here, though - i.e. a situation that should have been relatively easy to nip in the bud instead being prolonged

This.

But then, there are loads of threads on MN where the actions taken seem unnecessarily bizarre convoluted.

BigRedBall · 06/05/2015 07:43

Unbelievable!

Is the party this Saturday? I'll be waiting for an update.

Blueandwhitelover · 06/05/2015 07:45

Was nothing at all said at school yesterday? Did I miss that bit?

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 06/05/2015 07:51

Nope- texter isn't coming to the sporting event. If anybody else does they'll be told to leave. Simple. I won't do anymore now. We have people helping on the door and I'm telling the venue today so they'll be prepared.

Let them come. It'll be a shit drive home.

OP posts:
Redlocks28 · 06/05/2015 08:03

And none have them have texted back after the ops 'you're not invited' text to be clear on what exactly is going on?

This is what's strange and makes me think they are collectively inviting themselves on purpose to wind you up and they know perfectly well they're not invited.

Have you fallen out with or upset any of them before??

Original poster
VodkaVomitANDPoo · 06/05/2015 08:07

Redlocks- no! I barely know the mum and she's always been polite and said hello. Don't know who the other people are. One texter was more chatty than others. Others NOTHING.

There is a wall of silence.

OP posts:
londonrach · 06/05/2015 08:09

Putting my 'leaky' tent up for saturday. Hope you dont get any gatecrashers op

Seffina · 06/05/2015 08:14

I agree that she thinks that it will still be open to the public and wants to piggyback the party and hope that you wouldn't notice. Maybe she still doesn't realise it's actually closed.

IrmaGuard · 06/05/2015 09:20

But fb mum has already declined the invitation to op's party, hasn't she? So what is she gaining by 'inviting' others to a party she's not even attending?
And did none of fb mum's friends notice the photo on the invitation was not of her son?