Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More of a WWYD...balls going over fence

137 replies

Psipsina · 02/05/2015 17:48

I'm feeling a bit pissed off but maybe unjustly...our toddler managed to throw a ball off the balcony, and it bounced off and went into next door's garden. It was there for about a day, still there this morning, and I assumed they would throw it back - we could have asked for it but I didn't like to bother them - but when we went into the garden this afternoon they told ds1 that their dog had attacked it and it was no more.

If their son's ball had come over into our garden, and one of our pets had destroyed it I would offer to replace it. But maybe I'm being daft?

Ds3 just woke up crying about his ball, it was his favourite and he is only 2 Sad

We have got him two more similar ones but I just thought it was a bit unkind to leave it there till their dog got it then not even really give a stuff.

They seem like very nice people normally. Maybe they are pissed off that it went over but our balls very rarely do as I don't let the older ones play with them in the garden for this very reason.

OP posts:
GloGirl · 02/05/2015 17:53

Yabu, they might not have seen it till the dog chewed it and I wouldn't want to replace something that shouldn't be in my garden to begin with.

To be neighbourly I might offer to replace it once but I wouldn't think I morally should do.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 02/05/2015 17:55

Meh. Dogs chew things.

C'est la vie.

ltk · 02/05/2015 17:55

Yabu. Their dog attacked it in his own garden. They did not deliberately destroy it. You will have to explain to ds that if his balls go over that fence then the dog will likely rip them. Maybe explain that the doggy was playing with it and it broke.

Fairenuff · 02/05/2015 17:57

Of course YABU, they are under to obligation to return a ball within a certain timeframe. Shame that their dog got to it first but not surprising reallly as he is more likely to spot it quickly.

Jollyphonics · 02/05/2015 17:57

My kids often kick their ball over the fence, and the neighbours on both sides have dogs who love chewing footballs. I constantly lecture my kids about taking more care, and I've told them that if the neighbours dogs chew the footballs then it's their own fault for kicking them over. If they want them back they have to go round there themselves and ask politely, before the dog goes out there. People can let their dogs out into their own gardens without checking for neighbours footballs.

AuntyMag10 · 02/05/2015 18:01

Off course Yabu, your ds being Sad is not due to them at all. You knew it was there, why didn't you ask.
Maybe they are just annoyed at balls coming into their yard, annoying their dogs.

Original poster
Psipsina · 02/05/2015 18:03

Ok. But I can't explain anything to him and he is only two - he doesn't understand. I certainly won't let him throw the ball from the balcony again, but the thing is, it was a total accident, he didn't mean to do it. he was upset when it happened, and there was nothing I could do to get it back really unless I went and bothered them.

Maybe I should have done that but they might have been even more annoyed then.

I just feel sorry for ds, that's all. He doesn't understand.

OP posts:
GemmaTeller · 02/05/2015 18:06

I apologised to our neighbour because our dog had played with and popped an expensive looking football he found in our bushes.

Neighbour said don't worry, they've told their son if he kicks the ball over consider it gone.
The son only let it happen the once.

GraysAnalogy · 02/05/2015 18:06

Just get him another ball? He doesn't have to understand. Ball is gone, mummy will get another.

Original poster
Psipsina · 02/05/2015 18:07

I think I am supposing the guy is a bit mean. I get the feeling he is a bit mean. We had some work done on the roof, which involved fixing a gaping hole in their chimney as well as ours (which we didn't charge them for as our workmen only found it when they went up) and he complained that some dust and bits of cement had fallen into their garden.

We apologised and made the workmen go and sweep it up but it just felt like he had a chip on his shoulder and was overly anxious about us maybe taking the piss, which we absolutely would not do. I think he was trying to teach ds a lesson with the ball - I think he saw it there and didn't get it on purpose.

I hope not but if so it's horrid.

OP posts:
GemmaTeller · 02/05/2015 18:07

Also, I think its up to you to go and ask for the ball back, not them to throw the ball back.

GraysAnalogy · 02/05/2015 18:08

You're assuming an awful lot there OP. It doesn't help to speculate and make up scenarios

ltk · 02/05/2015 18:09

He is 2, so he probably does understand the basics. Ball went over. Dog attacked ball. Ball is broken. It just takes 24 explanations at that age, including yes the ball is still broken 10 times a day. But your ds being sad is not your neighbours' fault. It was just an accident. I don't know why you expect any other outcome. They have been perfectly reasonable.

AuntyMag10 · 02/05/2015 18:10

Even if he saw it there it still isn't his problem to throw it back when it was you who should have asked for it.

Original poster
Psipsina · 02/05/2015 18:10

No, perhaps it doesn't. I have tried to be as nice as possible and reassure him that we are careful, nice neighbours, but he seems distrustful.

The dog doesn't normally go out by itself, so he would have been right there at the same time as the dog and just let it do its worst.

OP posts:
Original poster
Psipsina · 02/05/2015 18:12

See AuntyMag, if it were me, and his lovely son's ball came over into our yard, I would not hesitate to throw it back over asap as I know how boys need their balls.

I would just do this. No matter if it were his fault for being careless, unless it happened on a daily basis, I would chuck it back for free.

I assume other people are the same but apparently not.

OP posts:
dickiedavisthunderthighs · 02/05/2015 18:12

If your son was so upset why on earth didn't you just go round and get it back?

ltk · 02/05/2015 18:13

Yabvu now. If he did fail to get the ball after seeing it, I would say that is kinda mean and not neighbourly. But it is not horrid. We are talking about a ball. He didn't let the dog rip your pet cat to shreds or anything. I think you need some perspective.

AuntyMag10 · 02/05/2015 18:15

And if it were me, I would go ask for it back rather than my child be upset. I would even apologize for the inconvenience.

GraysAnalogy · 02/05/2015 18:15

as I know how boys need their balls

Sorry but ha ha ha

Original poster
Psipsina · 02/05/2015 18:15

Because I didn't want to annoy them and assumed they would just see it, and chuck it over. We could see it clearly. It wasn't hidden.

Anyway we'll just have to get over it. Does anyone know where you can get a sort of covered trampoline with a roof bit? Then we could put them in that and it would be fine.

OP posts:
Vivacia · 02/05/2015 18:15

Well, you seem to have it all fixed in your mind, so I think you just have to accept your neighbour is vindictive and so is his dog.

Honeylimerainbow · 02/05/2015 18:15

Oh honestly, you are making it sound as if the dog tore the ball up and upset your son on purpose.

Incidentally, I have rabbits and I am fed up of throwing balls back over the garden to come back and frighten and potentially hurt MY pets. Teach your son to be more careful - yes, accidents happen like toddlers throwing balls and dogs tearing them up.

Original poster
Psipsina · 02/05/2015 18:16

Yes ha ha Smile

OP posts:
Honeylimerainbow · 02/05/2015 18:16

And unless your houses are the only two for miles around now were they to know it was your sons ball?

Swipe left for the next trending thread