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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More of a WWYD...balls going over fence

137 replies

Psipsina · 02/05/2015 17:48

I'm feeling a bit pissed off but maybe unjustly...our toddler managed to throw a ball off the balcony, and it bounced off and went into next door's garden. It was there for about a day, still there this morning, and I assumed they would throw it back - we could have asked for it but I didn't like to bother them - but when we went into the garden this afternoon they told ds1 that their dog had attacked it and it was no more.

If their son's ball had come over into our garden, and one of our pets had destroyed it I would offer to replace it. But maybe I'm being daft?

Ds3 just woke up crying about his ball, it was his favourite and he is only 2 Sad

We have got him two more similar ones but I just thought it was a bit unkind to leave it there till their dog got it then not even really give a stuff.

They seem like very nice people normally. Maybe they are pissed off that it went over but our balls very rarely do as I don't let the older ones play with them in the garden for this very reason.

OP posts:
hullabaloo234 · 03/05/2015 08:39

My goodness, this is quite possibly the most bizarre AIBU I've read in all of my time on mumsnet!
The ball is your son's favourite toy, that he loves so much he was upset it went over the fence, but rather than simply apologise to the neighbour and ask for it back you think the neighbour deliberately ignored the ball in the hopes that his dog would destroy it because he doesn't like you?! Shock I'm sorry to be rude, but I think you need to get a massive grip and actually think about what you are saying! It's madness!
Try telling the story to someone in RL as you have told it here, and I imagine their Confused facial expression will tell you all you need to know. What did your OH say when you said this to him?! I think ypu really need to let this go, and use it as the perfect example to your son that sometimes we lose things and it's not the end of the world-then next time just knock on the door and ask for it back! I don't know anyone who would be annoyed at being asked to chuck a ball back over the fence! All this talk of hiding all the balls until you have a way of containing them is a massive overreaction. Hopefully you'll realise this and stop driving yourself nuts about neighbour conspiracy theories!CakeFlowers

Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 08:48

My goodness, this is quite possibly the most bizarre AIBU I've read in all of my time on mumsnet!

How long have you been here?! Grin There have been worse...

OP posts:
Icimoi · 03/05/2015 08:59

OP, you haven't answered the question about whether the neighbour even knew the ball was out there, or how he was to know that it came from your ds?

Spotifymuse · 03/05/2015 09:06

You have chickens in an urban garden ?

Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 09:29

Er yes we do and we give the neighbours eggs which they appreciate. Do you have an issue with chickens?

Icimoi, I'm not sure which question you mean but I think it's probably not terribly relevant - I've accepted that the guy probably intended no harm. I have no idea if he saw the ball, and he may well have thought it belonged to the other side. I shouldn't have minded at all if it had got chucked over there instead, they have a toddler visiting so it would have been nice for her. Rather than it be ripped to pieces I suppose.

OP posts:
hullabaloo234 · 03/05/2015 09:45

Probably intended to do no harm?! Jeez I'm sorry OP but this is baffling! Are you generally this suspicious and unreasonable about everything or is it just this?! You sound unhinged!Hmm

Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 09:46

Hullabaloo, I'm curious, just what is it that you want me to say? I'm trying my best here.

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 03/05/2015 09:48

Good grief, I have a backyard full of dog toys and balls, I wouldn't necessarily notice another one until a dog brought it to me to throw it.

Way overthinking it OP. Waaaaaay overthinking.

Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 09:50

Fair enough.

OP posts:
Aridane · 03/05/2015 09:51

Ha ha ha - YABU - I love threads like this.

PamDooveOrangeJoof · 03/05/2015 09:53

Balls left in our garden get popped by foxes. Sometimes we may not notice a ball has come over from next door for ages. They never knock to ask but as soon I notice one I'll send it back. If it hasn't been popped by a fox first!

I dorm spend my time looking out at my back garden to check for stray balls. You knew it was there because you looked for it. They may not have noticed or if been convenient to deal with it when they did.

You are being unreasonable.

pictish · 03/05/2015 09:56

OP you sound articulate and intelligent in your delivery, but the gravity to which you are awarding this...ball...belies your madness. Grin

Forget the ball. Ponder not of its fate any more. Lament no longer of the ball's sad demise and torture yourself no further with what could have been.

It went over the fence and their dog got it first. That's it. Finito.

Come on now. Grin

Spotifymuse · 03/05/2015 09:58

No problem with quiet, non smelly, non messy chickens.
It's the noisy, stinky, dirt producing ones that I don't like Wink

MammaTJ · 03/05/2015 10:07

Ok, I am fairly sure your neighbour does not have special mind reading powers. You say there has been a toddler visiting next door. How was he meant to know where the ball came from?

Just go and knock on the door!

You have put far to much thought in to whether you would disturb them, that you are sure they would have seen it etc. All easily solved by a quick knock and 'DS accidentally threw his ball over, could you chuck it back please, sorry for the bother'.

VanitasVanitatum · 03/05/2015 10:10

You were honestly ridiculous not to ask for it back. Dog saw it first, dog destroyed it.

You don't just 'wait' for someone to magically sense that your ball is in their garden, if you want it back you let them know ffs.

It would have been polite for the guy to say sorry, but you should have said sorry first for chucking stuff in his garden - both things were accidents and no ones fault.

You're really over thinking this. Next time, go down and let them know it's in the garden, apologise and ask f you could please have it back next time they're out there if they don't want to out now. Simple.

hullabaloo234 · 03/05/2015 10:13

I don't want you to do anything, just see how unreasonable your thinking on this is! So how did your OH take the news? Is he as,frankly, nuts about this or does he see reason like everyone here?!

Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 10:15

Pictish Grin

On the back of this I am preparing to train my chickens to attack anything that comes over the fence from that side. I think their impact would probably only amount to shitting on it, but still, it's the thought that counts.

OP posts:
Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 10:17

Hulla, I'm not normal enough to have an OH.

Having adjusted my thinking however thanks to you and everyone else on this thread, I may have a fighting chance one day.

OP posts:
toffeeapplejam · 03/05/2015 10:19

I think this thread is a wind up, but I can't for the life of me work out why someone would invent such a weird thread.

Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 10:23

Oh really? FFS. Can we just draw a line as I don't even want to talk about it any more. This is the old trap of starting a thread and finding that even once you agree with everyone, they won't let it drop, so you have to keep responding, and it just goes on and on until it deviates wildly and everyone starts talking about flans or y fronts or something.

I'm officially not going to say ANYTHING ELSE. Brew

OP posts:
Perfectlypurple · 03/05/2015 10:30

Bit of drip feeding though to just throw in that the second time ds did this he was in the garden and threw it back, when he explained about the first one. The dog probably saw it first, we often have balls in our garden and don't always notice straight away.

If we are in the kids come and ask for it back.

Pomegranatemolasses · 03/05/2015 10:33

Hang on though. You say that Ds3 deliberately threw a ball over, after special ball. Neighbour did in fact throw back this ball. So why on earth do you think he was being mean/vindictive earlier?

Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 10:34

Because I didn't know until I spoke to Ds1, just before I posted that information.

OP posts:
Original poster
Psipsina · 03/05/2015 10:35

Is it drip feeding if you don't know something when you start the thread?

If I had known that I wouldn't have started it at all.

OP posts:
EduCated · 03/05/2015 10:45

Hang on, so when DS threw another ball over and the neighbour was out in the garden, he handed it straight back?

Does that not suggest that had he seen the other ball before the dog that he would also have chucked that one over (assuming he had known where it came from)?