Honest opinions is 42 too old....

[Summerwood1]

To be thinking about having one last baby? I have a 10 year old daughter and would love to start again!!!

We are hoping for two more. I'm 37 and had one at 18 and one at 24. My Mum, Grandma and sister all gave birth over 40 successfully and healthily, so I fancy my chances.

Do you really fancy dealing with a hormonal teenager in you late 50s???

Yes Bogey, of course my opinion on that stealth boast just has to come down to jealousy doesn't it
Those things do make life easier I agree but I'd rather be poorer and younger, and spending every moment with my little dc's than handing them over to a nanny each day. I live in a leafy London area and contrary to what's always spouted on mumsnet, the older mums I've known here are grey and knackered looking..not the youthful gym bunnies that some would have you believe.

Everyone keeps saying "have one if you want one" and "if you're fit and healthy" etc. Its extremely naive to say the least, and I would argue selfish as well. Like I've said until you've grown up with older parents who are totally out of their depth when the kids get to teenagers, and are then forced to have to be carers whilst in their early twenties for parents with health problems, you have no real idea at all. It's all cloud cuckoo land on mumsnet with fabulous health right into the eighties, nannies and private school fees being the main priority, and assuming everything will be different for your family. I think it's a massive thing to consider and not one to go into lightly or off the back of some of the advice given here.

I am 42.
No way would I consider this.

Morning! My circumstances were different. In 94 my only child collapsed and died in my garden with no medical explanation, he was almost 15. After two years of hell we decided to try ivf, three were transferred and three is what I got, g/b/b. As babies and toddlers in fact up until they started secondary school life was amazing and they were such good babies, it was in fact easy, I had very little help. The hardest part has been the teens, they are now 17 turned. I say that but the truth is the boys have been no problem, my dd can be hard work but she is lovely :) One of my boys has now flown the nest, he is a junior soldier at Harrogate Army Foundation College, been there 6 weeks and I am missing him but excited for him. I have no regrets only that I wish Matthew was here too. xx

Wanting a child is always an inherently 'selfish' act, no matter what age the parents are, surely, Foxy?

I'd've rather had my children 10 years earlier than I did, but Life and repeated MCs put paid to those plans. So, selfishly, we just kept going.
I fully appreciate and understand that many other people would chose not to take the risks, but I am glad we did.

triplets, so sorry you had to go through such a heart-breaking loss . Your triplets must be such a joy and source of pride to you, but how said they will never know their brother Matthew.

Timetoask, nobody wants to deal with hormonal teenagers - if it coincides with my menopause, at least we'd get all hormonality out of the road in one fell swoop .
Sorry, don't mean to be flippant, but don't we all have to deal with whatever we have to deal with? Chose our beds and then lie in them??

I'm 47 and have two healthy independent children of 28 and 26. No way would I want to be trailing up and down to the school gates in my 40s and 50s.

Red fairy, when you were dealing with nappies and trawling up and down to the school gates in your twenties, I was at University, traveling the world, going to parties and festivals etc. no way would i have wanted to be doing what you were doing. It's just different choices. Each are equally valid, and wouldn't life be boring if we all wanted the same things!

I became a mum for the first time in my forties and so don't think 42 is too old. The issue for me , to be honest (as per your op) is the impact on your 10 year old at what is about to be a tricky time - secondary school, puberty. If it would work for you and yours then give it a go. Best of luck.

Triplets Sorry to hear about your son. . Three teens at the same time does sound challenging but hopefully fun too.

When I was pregnant with dd3 aged 44 I got the same strong responses about going to be taken for the babies granny etc. I have always been wondering if some women feel threatened by older women having babies????

Do you really fancy dealing with a hormonal teenager in you late 50s???

What do you think happens to your brain after 50?! My mum is 76 and she would be totaly up to dealing with a hormonal teenager - in fact I think she'd run rings around them.

She looks after DS (9) at least two after school days a week and two full days in the holidays.

And those who are saying they couldn't go back to it now and they're looking forward to some freedom. I already had my freedom and presumably will have it again later. I had 20 years of doing exactly what I wanted, owned my own house, traveled, big job travelling across the world, working like a slave, partied like an animal. I was very happy to give it up for a while. I think I actually resented being stuck in the house of an evening less than younger single parents.

So there you go OP. Some people would, some people wouldn't. Doesn't get you very far does it.

I'm 42 and have a four year old....I don't do school runs often though

I chuckle when I think I could have an adult child of 25 ish makes me shudder a bit I'm way too immature.

As pp I was literally travelling the world with my career ....which I'm still lucky to be doing just on a very part time basis. I would have resented being a mother really young I think.

And I realise it sounds really materialistic ....but I love that we can afford a lovely home and activities for dd and holidays are no worries.

I sometimes wish I'd had a dc younger but young to me would be early to mid thirties....Id probably have tried for a sibling then.

I do have all the worries of an older parent but it's worth it.

I was 33 when i had my first hormonal teenager it blew my mind it was bloody exhausting just because i was young i was equipped to deal with it nah I don't think it works like that .

You're bound to get people who say no way as they are long out of the baby stage. You'd get many saying the same to very young. But it is right for some people.

I was happy with age 30 for first, I could imagine older but wouldn't have wanted very young.

I had my last at age 42.

Of course we love him and he is adorable.. The pg was relatively straight forward as was the birth. However, the first 12 months were extremely tiring - much more than my previous 2 children, who I had in my mid thirties. Plus he has SEN, not related to my age, and because of that is very hard work. I sometimes do wonder if I did the right thing having him - despite not wanting to be without him iyswim. My life would have been much easier. I do spend a fair amount of time attending meetings about him at the moment with various professionals.

This idea of "dealing with a hormonal teenager" is always rather puzzling to me, I have brought up two stepdaughters, from the age of 12 to their twenties (where they are now), they are lovely people and always were, from 12, through the teenage years, to the present day. Can't see why being a teenager would turn someone into more trouble.

My Ds, because he has special needs, will on the other hand, probably throw up many challenges when he reaches that stage. I certainly accept that, but can't see why I would not be able to deal with it because I will be in my 60s. I am not planning to retire until at least 65, and my job is very challenging, if I can do that to that age then....

It's a very personal thing, I don't think there is a right or wrong.

I'm 41 and the very idea fills me with horror, but that's just me, I am not in the slightest bit broody. That's not just my age though, it's more that I always wanted two children, I now have two children, so I don't feel any urge to have more. My last pregnancy was horrible. I am not a natural parent to babies, I spent the first two years in a sleep deprived miserable haze both times. As my children get older (currently 10 and 5) I am finding being a parent more and more rewarding and interesting. Other people's babies are wonderful but it's lovely to go home to bigger children. Definitely more of a life stage thing than an age thing for me.

My mum had my sister at 42, a surprise pregnancy. She and my sister have never really got along and I think Mum found parenting a teenager really hard the second time around - but the circs were very different. She was an old fashioned Mum when I was a teenager and she was still old fashioned when dsis was a teenager - again it wasn't so much her age as her personality and values.

OP all you can do is make sure you're aware of the risks in terms of biological issues and make your decision - do whatever feels right for you.

I have three children, born when I was 23, 24 and almost 43.
I was OK until I hit 50 (I was also working FT). DC3 has Asperger syndrome so was hard work. There is a higher risk of disability, but not as high as some people would have you think.
TBH each person is individual. For every person who says they found it tiring and stressful there will be another who says they found it a doddle and would do it all again.
We did feel socially isolated a) because our child had a disability and b) because all our friends had children of similar ages to out first DC and they were therefore child free.
DC3 did get a lot of 'Your Mum is HOW old?' type comments, and he had a friend whose grandmother was younger than me.
I have always been wondering if some women feel threatened by older women having babies proves you've been DTD madwoman!

Do you really fancy dealing with a hormonal teenager in you late 50s???

Well as I'm 52 and DD is 11 that's exactly what I'll be doing. Except I don't see it in the negative way you imply; it will just be the next stage in raising my daughter.

PS Have never been taken for DD's granny . Older mothers are not unusual where I live

Hormonal teenagers are a nightmare whatever your age secondary school teacher

Red fairy, when you were dealing with nappies and trawling up and down to the school gates in your twenties, I was at University, traveling the world, going to parties and festivals etc. no way would i have wanted to be doing what you were doing. It's just different choices. Each are equally valid, and wouldn't life be boring if we all wanted the same things!

Funny statement there since you totally contradict yourself with that subtle little dig about 'trawling up and down to the school gates' and 'dealing with nappies'

I know young mothers who take their children travelling with them and are enjoying their dc's whilst planning to go and get their degrees in the future. One of them has just been over south East Asia with her dc's and they personally enjoy travelling as a family. Not everyone lives for parties and festivals, but going to university can be done at any time. I know two mothers who had children young and then went and got good degrees in their late thirties and forties. They are now enjoying the benefits of having good careers ahead of them for many years before retirement.

I do have sympathy with the people who have had babies much earlier, gone through it all, and then say in their forties, when the kids are grown up, wow I could not go through all that again. (Although my mother did that, I was 19 when my brother was born, that all worked out fine). Having my first baby when I was 45 is very different, a last chance miracle that you thought was probably not going to happen. After I have lived a very interesting life and done so many things, both as a childless person to age 40, and then a stepmother to teenagers.

But overall I would say to the OP certainly go for it if you want to. I find some of the comments on this thread about people being too old rather depressing!

I have always been wondering if some women feel threatened by older women having babies

This is actually worth a thread of its own! My friend said to me "you'll be in your 50s when DD is at primary school, that'll be embarrassing for her". It struck me as a strange thing to say but I am happy to report that my DD always seems delighted to see me in the playground and has not yet asked me to hide behind the bushes in case any of her friends catch sight of my wizened face