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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be offended by the use of this word in many threads?

226 replies

Sugarsandwich · 01/05/2015 22:16

I am new to MN and tbh I am shocked by the regular use of the C word in many threads, using it as a term of abuse for (very often) men who have behaved appalingly towards their partners. It's not that I am against swearing in general, it just seems odd that a community of forward thinking supportive women would choose to use a word that actually means a normal, natural, sacred part of female anatomy to describe such vile and reprehensible men. Can anyone think of a creative alternative word to use instead?

OP posts:
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5
cosIsaidso · 02/05/2015 05:06

It may be derogatory but it's extremely cathartic when used in anger/frustration I think we can consider it reclaimed after this thread. Hoist on your own p'tard OP. Prefer twat though.

daffsandtulips · 02/05/2015 05:27

Reclaimed? as in? I always had a vagina, I certainly have never felt a reclaim on the word cunt. Oh I get it, sort of ish , not. My vagina is called something very derogatory which is used by men in a disgusting manner but if I say the same then it makes it somehow better or empowers me? ok then.

daffsandtulips · 02/05/2015 05:32

I use the word fuck a lot, I use the word piss a lot, I use the word shit a lot or bumhole and arse. No I dont use the word cunt. Apparently women use it because men hate them doing that. I dont care to upstage the menz. I care about the fact it is a disgusting name for a lovely part of my body.

daffsandtulips · 02/05/2015 05:36

Its something we all do, male or female and its sweary Grin

daffsandtulips · 02/05/2015 05:39

meant to type "something we all have or do"

FindoGask · 02/05/2015 06:53

"I think YABU. It is a collection of four letters, is it really worth getting that worked up about?"

I don't agree with the OP but that really is a stupid thing to say. Just to take the most obvious example, the N-word is a collection of 6 letters but most people agree it's offensive and awful and should never be said. All our language is "a collection of letters"; just as a cathedral is a collection of bricks or a person is a collection of cells. Whole = more than sum of parts, fairly well known expression.

Hakluyt · 02/05/2015 07:02

I hate the use of the word "cunt". I hear the "reclaiming" argument, but I think for older feminists like me, the memories of a time when it was a vicious, violent worst of all swear words run too deep. Hearing it for the first time when it was spat at you for daring to suggest, for example, that beating your wife was not a man's right tends linger in the memory.

I also don't understand why, if we're reclaiming it, we're reclaiming it as a swear word. Why not reclaim it as a word for vagina? People aren't reclaiming nigger and queer as terms of abuse...........

SconessMcFloness · 02/05/2015 07:26

I like the word cunt, not keen on the word fanny though - does that matter?

MammaTJ · 02/05/2015 07:30

I was called 'Fat Cunt' by my neighbour some time ago.

I don't know if my cunt is indeed fat, my belly is certainly fat, so blocks the view.

I am fairly sure my cunt is not sacred. It has been much revered in the past, but not so much lately, so maybe the sacredness (I do love an invented word) has been used up!

SunsetsAndStarlings · 02/05/2015 07:33

I concur with Hakluyt. What is the point in reclaiming it as a swear word? It is a useless and counterproductive thing to do and won't stop men from using it against us. If anything, they will use it more as it is so normalised as a degrading, demeaning word. I have read posters trying to explain why they use it but it just doesn't make sense.

Blarblarblar · 02/05/2015 07:42

Come on sconess ya big fanny Grin

I'm with you hate it when people use the word fanny to describe their or children's vagina. Hate even more hearing guys say "did you get some fanny last night"makes me heave. You don't hear people say that about cunt it's a nice clear concise and weirdly in my opinion clean little word.

Hakluyt · 02/05/2015 07:43

"I like the word cunt, not keen on the word fanny though - does that matter?"

Do you mean you like the word cunt for vagina or as a swear word?

fulltothebrim · 02/05/2015 07:45

Hakluyt- I agree. I am of that age too when the C word was the very worst that could be said- 10 times worse than the N word.

I feel no need to reclaim it either. It's only on MNs that I see the word being used. No-one I know in RL uses the C word. But then I choose my friends.

Seffina · 02/05/2015 08:30

If there is some kind of 'scale of offensiveness' when it comes to swear words, I think that in general, words for vagina are seen as worse than words for penis. I could call someone a knob or a prick and there would probably be a different reaction than if I'd called them a cunt.

Why is this though? Is it just down to this ranking system or do we start tuning out some words the more we hear them? If cunt was an everyday expression for more people, would it lose it's 'power'?

Love this thread btw Grin

Coconutty · 02/05/2015 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/05/2015 08:46

It's a word I don't use actually, except privately, in moments of extreme stress, under my breath. I don't like it much if I'm honest, and whilst I use a fuck-ton of other swear words freely, that particular one does slightly jar with me.

It doesn't offend me for others to use it though. And this is mumsnet.

goodnessgraciousgouda · 02/05/2015 08:48

Are the people getting really het about this word (saying it's on a par with racist slurs), all American?

It's just a word. It ISN'T like racist slurs, as it isnt a word that has been used to institutionally repress women for a really fucking long time.

I wouldn't use "cunt" in front of my friends - even in private. I think it's a bad sad if people don't have the imagination to use other words when they really hate someone, or are really pissed off. It's pretty lazy to just jump immediately to the worst words you know.

Then again, in private I do tend to say "shitting cunting fuck" when I am really angry at my computer, or smash something.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 02/05/2015 08:48

I'm picturing a yard full of "reclaimed" cunts now.

MNHQ
TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 02/05/2015 08:54

Hallo and good morning
We're sorry that you're offended.

The truth is, we don't think we should be the arbiters of what people should find offensive and what they shouldn't. As a rule, it's very rare that a tasteless comment is left unchallenged by other members.
BUT we do rely on ALL members to help us monitor the boards.

We have talked to members about this in the past and reached a consensus which still applies that the use of this word is generally okay but that we at HQ will delete stuff that is beyond the pale.

We will also continue to delete personal attacks
Thanks as ever

YawnyMcYawn · 02/05/2015 08:55

Well my quinny IS sacred so nyaaar.
I have a special little stool with a hole in so I can waft smoke up it and everything.

lionheart · 02/05/2015 09:00

I don't think the OP was talking about anatomical terms but, as others have said, about its use as an insult.

Buxhoeveden · 02/05/2015 09:05

Luis Grin

Buxhoeveden · 02/05/2015 09:06

Luis Grin

Pipbin · 02/05/2015 09:07

For me though it's just a swear word, like twat, I don't really relate it to my anatomy.

A child in nursery called me a cunt once. It rather loses its power after that.

ThatBloodyWoman · 02/05/2015 09:11

On a deleted thread a day or so ago,the word 'snatch' was used.
Even worse than cunt I think.
And 'gash'.
Horrible.