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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not fill the form out for DD to have her own library card? (trivial)

222 replies

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 30/04/2015 22:49

DD (6yo, yr1) is going to the library with her class in a week, we've been sent home a form for them to have their own library card and been asked to fill it out and send it back in time for the trip.

I dont want to fill it out. I dont see the point in a 6yo having their own library card.

I have a library card, as does DH, we can take out up to 16 books on them at a time, the chances of DD ever visiting the library without me or DH are Zero.

AIBU to sent the permission slip back with the words "she doesn't need her own card, both me and her dad have one" on the card application?

OP posts:
OriginalHugsy · 01/05/2015 08:21

I never understand after a year of coming on MN why people post in AIBU and then complain when they get told they are BU YABU because your DD might want a library card, have you asked her? It's unreasonable that you would deny her a library card when going on a school trip. Don't you want to promote independence in your child? I just think your being petty

Maryz · 01/05/2015 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

msgrinch · 01/05/2015 08:24

We're nuts? All of us... not you? Hmm

treaclesoda · 01/05/2015 08:24

In the OP's defence, she did say herself, in her title, that it was trivial.

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 01/05/2015 08:25

But, but, it happens, Maryz Grin. Add that to the decline of library services because you don't sign up your baby the second it pops out out your chuff........

Maryz · 01/05/2015 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TyrannosaurusBex · 01/05/2015 08:33

Overdue books from our local library incur a far smaller fine if borrowed on a child's card. Dunno whether this is usual.

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 01/05/2015 08:34

OP isn't bothered about overdue fines.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 01/05/2015 08:36

Or you could go in this week and get her a library card pre-emptively. That way you don't have to worry about it getting lost (and you can pretend she's had it since she was a newborn Wink).

I would imagine most children like having their own special card just for them (mine had a cat on it).

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 01/05/2015 08:47

Our libraries gave up asking parents to fill in cards before school visits as it was found that it made no difference to the number of parents returning with their DC. It was a waste of staff time and also of stock if visiting classes were allowed to take books home as a fair proportion of that stock was never returned.

It's more productive for staff to visit the school at least once a term to promote what the library service has to offer, particularly if this is done at an Assembly parents attend and to keep schools stocked with up to date info about what the library has to offer.

OP is a library user, she takes books out for her DD. I can't see how a plastic card adds anything to the number of times she will visit or the number of books she will take out. It's a non issue and some posters are being terribly dramatic about the consequences.

SoupDragon · 01/05/2015 08:47

OP: AIBU?
MN: Yes, because of X Y and Z
OP: No I'm not!
MN: Yes you are, consider A B and C
OP: You are nuts.

Jomato · 01/05/2015 08:49

I don't really get the use of trivial though. If it was trivial you wouldn't have even thought about it. You seem to have invested a lot of thought in something when most people would have just filled it in, that suggests it's not that trivial to you for some reason. I think that's what people are questioning/struggling with. Why on earth would you want her to miss out on the experience with her classmates when the only reason you seem to have come up with is that it's unnecessary and a waste of plastic?

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 01/05/2015 08:52

Or another way to look at it op, you say something that is blatantly unreasonable. You ask a mass audience if they thing you are being unreasonable. They say yes. You get sullen and mardy.
That's sometimes how mumsnet goes too.

TwoOddSocks · 01/05/2015 08:56

Seriously OP, yes it's trivial it's probably not the end of the world if your DD doesn't have a library card BUT she might like to have one, especially since everyone else in her class will have one, maybe the school will take them back to the library and she'll need the card, you'll come across like a nut job to her teachers if you refuse to just go along with it when you have absolutely no reason not to.

I think when you send your kid to school you have to unclench a little bit, you might not see the use in every single school project your DD gets set but if you continually kick up a fuss you're going to waste a lot of your own time and create a hassle for your DD and her teachers.

ragged · 01/05/2015 09:13

She would feel So Left Out. And it would stick hard in memory. She'd be back on MN in 25 yrs explaining the weird things her mother did.

I still almost never have overdue fines, it's nice to pay smaller fine when it happens. We lose books rather than go overdue (sigh),

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 01/05/2015 09:15

As left out as the children who, when the staff look for existing records, aren't allowed to have a new card as they already have one, with 10 long overdue books and a couple of DVDs?

Another reason why this approach to library membership is flawed.

mumeeee · 01/05/2015 09:18

YABU. All of our DDs had their own library card from about 2 years old. Yes DH and I had one but having a children's library card meant that we didn't pay fines on children's books. Won't your DD feel left out if she doesn't have a library card on the trip. Her friends will be able to choose a book to take home but she won't be able to.

Favouritethings · 01/05/2015 09:31

All her friends will be given their library cards during their trip there. Won't she feel a little left out that she doesn't get her own too?

diddl · 01/05/2015 09:35

Doesn't a child's card last until 16?

Won't she be going alone in the next 10yrs?

I would have thought that you would be encouraging a card tbh.

hobNong · 01/05/2015 09:51

It's a bit weird that you don't want your dd to have one. Not the end of the world, but very odd.

Thanks though, this thread has taught me I can get one for baby dd. I assumed she was too young but apparently not. I'll probably get her one next week (in case you were wondering).

Roomba · 01/05/2015 10:07

Come on, how long exactly is it going to take you to complete the form? And, as others have said, your DD will likely love having her own card and getting her own books out on it. So why wouldn't you?

You say that the fines will never be an issue as you never take books back late. Well, neither do I, but I had to pay £25 per book I had out when they were destroyed/damaged in a fire, whereas the ones taken out by my DD weren't charged for (not wishing that on you btw, just saying you can't predict the future - what if you lost a book or had a bag stolen with one in? You'd be wishing they were taken out on a childs' card then...)

Surely there is a chance that she will visit the library without you at some point in the next 12 years?

SoupDragon · 01/05/2015 10:10

how long exactly is it going to take you to complete the form?

Less time than the OP spent on this thread :o

AlternativeTentacles · 01/05/2015 10:13

I like the idea that she will never leave home, ever, because her mum didn't get her a library card at the age of 6

It's a slippery slope. Wink

If the OP's husband had his own card, then why does she need a card herself? Why not just have the one for the whole family? Seems a waste of a bit of plastic to me.

TerryTheGreenHorse · 01/05/2015 10:15

If getting a library card is such a thrill why do people get them for newborns?

They are hardly going to remember.

I'm going to get DS a card this year, he is 4.

ChangingTiming · 01/05/2015 10:16

Surely your DD will be upset if everyone on the school trip gets to take a book out the library on their card, and she is the only one? Even if you are there and produce your card, its you that has to take the book out not her, so she still misses out!