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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not fill the form out for DD to have her own library card? (trivial)

222 replies

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 30/04/2015 22:49

DD (6yo, yr1) is going to the library with her class in a week, we've been sent home a form for them to have their own library card and been asked to fill it out and send it back in time for the trip.

I dont want to fill it out. I dont see the point in a 6yo having their own library card.

I have a library card, as does DH, we can take out up to 16 books on them at a time, the chances of DD ever visiting the library without me or DH are Zero.

AIBU to sent the permission slip back with the words "she doesn't need her own card, both me and her dad have one" on the card application?

OP posts:
merrymouse · 01/05/2015 06:36

It's not something else to keep an eye on if you never use it. It's not as though the library will send somebody to your house to check that you haven't lost it.

Cockadoodledooo · 01/05/2015 06:42

No fines for late returns and no charges for damage (though that might just be baby/toddler books, and isn't a problem we've had). And a little bit of independence. My boys both have their own cards, and even though they rarely visit the library without me or dh they love taking books out on their own card.
When all your dd's classmates check their books out by themselves on the trip, are you really going to do hers for her? Think that's very unfair.

That's a YABU, in case that's not clear.

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 01/05/2015 06:42

YANBU if you will never use it. It serves no purpose apart from bumping up the numbers of children joining the library in their monthly figures. Active child memberships and regular usage is better.

Personally, I'd get one for every family member. It's nice for a child to hand their own card over for their own books. However, I cannot get aerated about people who stick all the family books on adult cards.

SoupDragon · 01/05/2015 06:50

Our library tickets were always kept in a small purse attached to the cloth Bookstart bag we took to the library with the books in. The bag was covered in all the badges the DC earned during the summer reading scheme. They didn't take up space in my purse and they didn't get lost.

Redglitter · 01/05/2015 06:56

are you really happy to stand there while the wee soul looks on as everyone else on the trip gets a card?

If she never uses it so what? Just don't spoil the trip by having her be different to the rest. I bet every other parent has signed the form without giving it a second though and will make all the right noises when the cards are proudly shown off after school

dangerrabbit · 01/05/2015 06:57

YABU

Councils are closing libraries everywhere because of lack of funds

The more people have library cards the more the library can prove it has more users and hopefully stay open

pushmepullyou · 01/05/2015 07:00

Our school did this. I didn't fill in the form as my dd already had a library card. However, on the day I didn't put it in her bag. This meant that all her friends got their new cards, chose their books question up at the library and took them out on their own cards while DD couldn't. Not the end of the world but she was quite upset. So I think you should fill in the card

pushmepullyou · 01/05/2015 07:00

Queued up sorry!

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 01/05/2015 07:03

Active users and book issues are what help keep libraries open (and footfall through the door for non-borrowing purposes).

A card added to the system and never used will be deleted from the system after a period of time and an inactive membership will do little to keep a library open if it's decided it will save money to close it.

charlie0123 · 01/05/2015 07:13

Fgs get a grip. I dread to think about the things you are going to stress about in the future if this troubles you when DC is 6.

Mehitabel6 · 01/05/2015 07:13

I have read some odd posts on MN, but this is one of the oddest. Mine had library cards as babies. Now she will have to explain to everyone that she has a very strange mother.

Tiredemma · 01/05/2015 07:18

Really odd.

I can't think of a time where this would ever be something that would be bother me- certainly not enough to the point where I have to draw attention to it on the internet.

CallMeNancy · 01/05/2015 07:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoldierBear · 01/05/2015 07:20

Why do you feel the need to exercise control to the extent of searching for negative factors In what should be a positive experience and risking making your child stand apart from her peers?
It is trivial only if you cannot acknowledge why you feel it necessary to deny your child this port unity to be a person in her ow right, separate from you

Silvercatowner · 01/05/2015 07:21

OP you do realise your child isn't just a mini-you, don't you? That she is developing her own perspective, thoughts, ideas and opinions that will actually be different to yours?

I have the same feelings as the poster upthread who said she found this upsetting. This is a fun activity to find out more about how the library works. Children love it and it is an effective, fun learning activity (I'm a teacher and have organised trips with similar activities).

OP you will be 'that' parent if your child is the only one who doesn't get a library ticket.

Bunbaker · 01/05/2015 07:25

"i've said its trivial."

So, just fill the form in then. Your daughter won't appreciate being made to feel different when she is the only child without a card.

Don't be such a meanie.

meglet · 01/05/2015 07:25

6 yrs is a bit old for a first library card.

I thought getting a first library card at 1 week old was the thing to do these days Wink .

littleblackno · 01/05/2015 07:31

Will your dd be the only child who doesn't have her own card? How will that make her feel? it may seem unimportant to you but it's the kind of thing my mum used to "not see the point of" and I remember my peers noticing. It made me feel left out. Sad Sad I'm not sure why you wouldn't, it's such a small thing for you to do.

MissBEverdene · 01/05/2015 07:32

YABU

All mine have had their own library cards from being tiny babies, all used regularly and they love taking their cards to the counter and feeling grown up by checking out their own books.

Jackieharris · 01/05/2015 07:33

My God, what a pain in the arse you are!

londonrach · 01/05/2015 07:36

Why not. Suggest you watch dws library card on you tube. I bet your dd looking forward to getting the card as much as dw. m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi9tGr7HGxg

TheFirstOfHerName · 01/05/2015 07:38

In our county, reservations on children's books are free, whereas adults have to pay 60p per book. With the number of books my younger three reserve (many aren't available in our local library and have to be brought from another branch) that adds up.

It also gives them independence and the responsibility of managing and organising their own library loans.

nagynolonger · 01/05/2015 07:38

As others have said it's far from unusual for very young DC to have their own library card. I took my own DC to the library and now I am taking my grandchildren. They love having their own cards.

If you still have a library use it. County councils are closing many (easy way to cut spending). The ones in the larger villages around us are being taken over by parish councils and run by volunteers. Those in smaller villages will close for good.

sunseeker66 · 01/05/2015 07:39

Let her have one, imagine how she will feel when she sees all her mates with theirs. Kids aren't daft and she will probably get teased for not being allowed one.

I still remember getting my first one when I was a toddler, I loved going to the library. It was one of the first things I did when I moved here was to register my dd at the local library.

What an odd thread!

BabyGanoush · 01/05/2015 07:42

Yabu

You sound like " that parent"