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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not fill the form out for DD to have her own library card? (trivial)

222 replies

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 30/04/2015 22:49

DD (6yo, yr1) is going to the library with her class in a week, we've been sent home a form for them to have their own library card and been asked to fill it out and send it back in time for the trip.

I dont want to fill it out. I dont see the point in a 6yo having their own library card.

I have a library card, as does DH, we can take out up to 16 books on them at a time, the chances of DD ever visiting the library without me or DH are Zero.

AIBU to sent the permission slip back with the words "she doesn't need her own card, both me and her dad have one" on the card application?

OP posts:
CapnMurica · 30/04/2015 23:52

Don't be such a misery!

My boys have their own library cards, have done since they were really small. They love having their own and handing it over.

PannaDoll · 30/04/2015 23:52

Your responses and reasons are all about you. This excursion is all about being your DD. Don't you remember the thrilling moment you were allowed your own library card? I'm such a book loving need that I do.

LaLyra · 30/04/2015 23:57

I'd focus less on the library card aspect and more on the trip. She's going to be with her classmates and they'll all be hyped up. Even if she goes to the library every day this is still the first time she's gone with Mary/Martha/whoever from her class. If they were doing anything else you wouldn't want her to be the only one missing out so I'd let her do it on that basis alone.

Also it means in a year or two if she's going with a friend and their Mum or with Grandparents or anyone there's no worry about the form then (or need to risk her losing your card).

If it gets lost on the way home it gets lost. She's still had the fun day with her classmates without being the odd one out for not being allowed.

In our area library cards are used for other stuff as well - free swimming, kids holiday activities and the likes so it's handy to have.

PerspicaciaTick · 30/04/2015 23:59

There are lots of things my children do (washing their hair, choosing their clothes, putting on their shoes, laying the table) which it would be much, much quicker and simpler if I just cracked on and did it myself.
But I let them do it because they they need to learn how to do things for themselves and because they positively glow with pride when they accomplish a grown-up task on their own.
Sending my DD off to the children's section with her own ticket, watching her choose her books and use the self-service machine on her own was a lovely moment of independence. Like the first time she chose a magazine in a shop, took it to the till on her own and handed over her money. I could have done that for her - but I chose not to.

balletgirlmum · 01/05/2015 00:00

There is also the Summer Reading Challenge they can do, reading books to collect stickers & get a certificate

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 01/05/2015 00:00

Op enjoys having a library card so much that she doesn't want to share...it's quite sweet really!

Iwasbornin1993 · 01/05/2015 00:03

I really don't understand this at allConfused

What is the big deal with her having one? Even if it's just to make her not stand out from the rest of her class...

I absolutely loved having my own library card when I was young! As others have said, it probably is the first step towards doing something that feels "grown up" independently.

I definitely think YABU OP but each to their own!

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 01/05/2015 00:10

You seem to be desperately trying to win some kind of competition in how much one can claim to already be promoting reading among one's children. Not sure whether it's to impress Mumsnetters or just an out of proportion defensive response to some perceived scrutiny by the school.

TwinkieTwinkle · 01/05/2015 00:10

DS has used his library card a handful of times. I usually just put his books on mine. It still has pride of place in his wallet though. It's his and only his.

AliceLidl · 01/05/2015 00:15

What would it hurt though? There might not be much point, but what does it really matter if she does have one?

She may be the only one in the class who doesn't get a card on the trip, and that might upset her on the day if she realises.

You're supporting the school and the way they are promoting literacy at home if you let her get one on the trip. I read all the time. DS had a fully stocked bookcase and his own LibraryThing account before he was born. He was a member of our library at just days old. He's a couple of years ahead of the rest of his class in his reading levels and he loves books. He reads for pleasure every day, just like me. Reading is not something that needs promoting in our house either. Yet I've been to every literacy assembly and talk the school have put on, just to show willing and give a bit of support for how they do things. Why not do it just for that?

Some libraries, like ours, have reading initiatives and challenges to get certificates and stickers and things, which children enjoy taking part in. You need a children's library card to do this. DS loves it when they do this.

She might just enjoy having her own card. Kids like stuff.

Getting the card might form part of a lesson at school after the visit. DS's class went to the post office and posted letters to themselves, then had the envelopes in class so they could study the postmarks and see if all the letters arrived at the same time. She might need it at school for something, or just have to talk about it or write about it.

I can't see the harm in filling the form in, if it's just a trivial thing. I'd let her get one with the rest of her class.

OneTwoManyLots · 01/05/2015 00:16

Do you plan on following her everywhere her whole life? No? Then let her have her own card. It's odd to say she'll always be with you at the library.

My DS1 is 10 and goes to the library on his own and has for the past 2 years.

bonbonbonbon · 01/05/2015 00:28

I think this is very sad. Why not get her a card? Are you afraid she'll check something out that you don't approve of? I have had my own library card since I was about 3 years old and loved going to the library with my parents and checking out my own books. Giving a child their own library card fosters a love of books and a sense of independence.

elQuintoConyo · 01/05/2015 00:58

But if she doesn't have a library card, how will she cut up her coke?

That's all this book-lending will come to Hmm

PerspicaciaTick · 01/05/2015 01:07

“In the midst of this hormonal gloom, however, the calvary finally arrives, over the hill, jangling its spurs, and epaulettes shining in the sun: my green library card. Now I'm 13, I can get adult books out of the library, without having to borrow my parents'cards. And that means I can get secret books out. Dirty books. Books with sex in.”
? Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

^^ this is probably what is worrying the OP. A child library card is just a slippery slope to teenage filth.

alrayyan · 01/05/2015 03:45

That's a bit sad.

LindyHemming · 01/05/2015 03:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SockPinchingMonster · 01/05/2015 06:05

I got library cards for my 2 when they were about 6 months old - I've always wanted to encourage a love of reading. Now they are 6 they love having their own cards and scanning them to check their books out. They also need them for the Summer Reading Challenge which they enjoy doing every year.

redcaryellowcar · 01/05/2015 06:06

Yabu

BorisJohnsonsHair · 01/05/2015 06:08

Haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to say that she is 6, but won't always be. Will she still be taking out books on your card when she's 10, 14, 16? My DCs have had the same library cards since the age of about 2 (DD is now 19), so it's hardly a "waste of plastic".

Also, children don't have to pay to reserve books as adults do, nor pay extra for hiring audio books. Also the fines are less.

You are being completely and utterly unreasonable, and also ridiculous.

Madamecastafiore · 01/05/2015 06:12

Yours is the sort of attitude my stepmonster had. To be fair it was because she couldn't be bothered with us though.

Yu may as well put an arrow with flashing lights above my head. I was the only one not to have the things we needed in the class and really resented her for it.

SoupDragon · 01/05/2015 06:24

why is it bizarre? i've said its trivial.

Being trivial does not mean something isn't bizarre.

No, mine didn't need their own ticket but they all loved the importance of having their own and getting their own books out.

FishWithABicycle · 01/05/2015 06:26

It's bizarre to object to this tbh. you know she's getting older every year, right? In 12 years time she'll have her own phone too, and be able to cross the road by herself and make her own dinner. There will be all sorts of things she depends on you now for that she can do by herself. but we don't dump personal responsibility for all these things on a child all at once. Each teeny tiny babystep towards independent existence happens very slowly. Six is not too young to start to understand how a library system works. she will enjoy and appreciate it more with her own library card, and will learn more too.

AuntyMag10 · 01/05/2015 06:26

What a non event. Just fill it out and get on with life.

SoupDragon · 01/05/2015 06:27

i will take peoples thoughts on board and ask her if she wants one or not.

Will you be asking in a dismissive tone and making it all seem pointless like you have done here?

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 01/05/2015 06:34

I would if they were going without me. As it is, mine have got their own but we never use them, as my purse is already iverflowing with cards, we don't reserve books and since the advent of online renewals we've never returned one late. They also don't need them to do the summer reading scheme. I just give them mine to take to the counter/machine. We don't go very often though, it's out of the way and always seems to be closed when we do decide to go.