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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not fill the form out for DD to have her own library card? (trivial)

222 replies

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 30/04/2015 22:49

DD (6yo, yr1) is going to the library with her class in a week, we've been sent home a form for them to have their own library card and been asked to fill it out and send it back in time for the trip.

I dont want to fill it out. I dont see the point in a 6yo having their own library card.

I have a library card, as does DH, we can take out up to 16 books on them at a time, the chances of DD ever visiting the library without me or DH are Zero.

AIBU to sent the permission slip back with the words "she doesn't need her own card, both me and her dad have one" on the card application?

OP posts:
Frecklefeatures · 01/05/2015 07:45

She's also potentially going to get hassled by the teacher for not bringing back her form, or the school are going to phone you to chase it up, just because you're being pointlessly awkward. Just what a 6 year - old needs, being made to worry/feel different on a school trip, while Mummy takes up attention and makes a shoe fishing out her own library card Hmm. It's not about you. I'm speaking as a teacher who has had to deal with this, there's always that one parent who has to make a fuss/needs special treatment/seeks attention.Angry

Frecklefeatures · 01/05/2015 07:45

Show, not shoe!!

Northernlurker · 01/05/2015 07:46

Meglet I really did take newborn dd1 for a library card. She was 4 week I think. My mum thought that was slack and I should have been there before. I couldn't understand why the staff looked at me oddly but there was no harm in doing it I suppose.

treaclesoda · 01/05/2015 07:48

Even if you are sure she will lose it, and you'd rather get books out on your card I still think YABU purely on the grounds that this trip to the library, and getting her own card, will be a fun activity for the class, let them feel a bit grown up etc and why would you not want to let her have that bit of harmless fun with her classmates?

SisterJulienne · 01/05/2015 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treaclesoda · 01/05/2015 07:49

I got my newborn a library card too. The staff didn't bat an eyelid, they said loads of people do. Smile

AlternativeTentacles · 01/05/2015 07:49

If you take this to it's ultimate conclusion, why would she ever leave home as you have a perfectly good spare room at yours.

Let her have a nugget of feeling less controlled just this once, eh?

Original poster
ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 01/05/2015 07:51

Wow, some of the responses on here are hilarious. You lot are nuts.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/05/2015 07:55
Hmm
SoldierBear · 01/05/2015 07:57

We are nuts because there is no logic or reason in your negative and rather controlling attitude?
Does.
Not
Compute

MissDuke · 01/05/2015 07:59

Op, are you going to let her get a library a library card?

If she is poor at looking after her possessions as suggested by your certainty that she will immediately lose the card, then I think this little taste of responsibility will be good for her.

HoldenCaulfield80 · 01/05/2015 08:01

I haven't read the whole thread - just skimmed - but has anyone agreed with OP yet!? YABU

MaximumVolume · 01/05/2015 08:05

Another one here who got library cards straight away for my kids. DS2 has borrowed books & is only 11 weeks (they were chosen from the baby section for him by DS1 (2.9)).

ragged · 01/05/2015 08:07

If 29 kids are each getting cards I doubt they'll get lost, this is the kind of detail teachers excel at. I keep custody of DC's & my card.

Our kids get fined 5p/day for each late book (15p/day for adult).
Reservations are free on the kid card (even adult books for teenagers; vs. 50p/adults).
The computers in the children's library only the kids can log into (using their card number).
DC have managed on occasion to max out all cards (all Four kid cards + mine). 15 books each.
I've been culling youngest kid books because after 12+ yrs we are all bored witless of reading them and unread they just turn into clutter. Unfortunately we have blitzed thru almost everything in the libraries, too, argh.

I had a good 9 yrs + of parenthood before losing any books. (Sigh, Halycon days).

LittleBairn · 01/05/2015 08:07

I al ost got my DD her first library card last week at the grand age of 10 days old. We ran out of time so I will do it next week at the age of 3 weeks.

YABU I remember with great fondness at the age of 7 getting my first library card on a school trip. It's very mean spirited of you to deny your DD just because you can as her mother.

HmmAnOxfordComma · 01/05/2015 08:09

Of course you get your dc a library card as soon as they are born. Why would you not?

OP: there's a good likelihood you won't be together with your own DD on the school trip; they do tend to split parents up from their own children. She'd be the only one not getting to take any books out then.

CaptainSubtext · 01/05/2015 08:11

If she wants to take part in the summer reading challenge (this year's theme is Record Breakers) she needs her own card

Original poster
ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 01/05/2015 08:11

only in mumsnet world does asking a very trivial question make me controlling, attention seeking and 'that parent'

really people, not everything posted on mumsnet is life or death serious.

if asking a simple question makes those kind of responses come out, you really need to have a long hard think about your attitude, not mine.

I've been using mumsnet for 9yrs, and quite honestly, this thread had made me realise why I really don't fucking bother all that much any more.

The attitude on the forum has gone to the dogs, you can't post even the most innocuous or trivial of threads without being raked over the coals. Penis beaker and facebook has a lot to answer for.

OP posts:
littlesupersparks · 01/05/2015 08:13

As others have said, free reservations, lower fines and the pride of having their own card all worth it IMO!

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 01/05/2015 08:15

It's really not as big a deal as some posters are making out.

claravine · 01/05/2015 08:16

Blimey this is all a bit intense. My ds does have his own card but sometimes I use my card as its easier to keep track of one set of loans rather than two. Or if you encounter an overzealous librarian who won't let you borrow a facts of life book on a child ticket as apparently its only for teend

Original poster
ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 01/05/2015 08:19

no, its really, really not Kicking

i probably will let dd have a library card so she isn't the odd one out on the trip, but seriously, people need to chill.

This is how mn works! you ask a question, get some answers, have a discussion of why you lean a particular way, then go away and decide if you're going to stick or twist.

People really need to chill on the judgemental name calling, this is not Judge Judy/Rinders court!

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 01/05/2015 08:19

So OP you are going to just ask her if she'd like a library card. What a good idea. Just phrase it in a neutral way - 'When you go to the library with school you can get your own library card if you want. If you do then we have to fill out this form before we go. What do you want?'

If she says she's not bothered, leave it. If she says she wants it, fill out the form. Where is the dilemma? I really don't understand what you posted for. Just ask her.

treaclesoda · 01/05/2015 08:19

ragged your adult fines are 15p per day? Ours are 50p a day. I always try to return on time or renew but once got caught out when I had 9 books out at once and the library website wasn't working properly. I renewed online but their website wasn't properly linked to their main computer system so although I got a message saying they'd been renewed, it didn't filter through to the actual computer system. Took them back three weeks later to be told that I owed a small fortune. Took some serious arguing before they realised

treaclesoda · 01/05/2015 08:20

Posted too soon.

Realised the mistake was their computer system.