to resign myself to the fact that there's no way I can do this degree due to lack of childcare?

[MrsHuxtableReturns]

I'm desperately trying to think of ways to make this work.

I want to do a nursing degree in a couple of years time but I might well be a single parent by then.

DC will be 3 and 5 and in nursery (9-12) and school (9-3) respectively.

The degree has pretty random blocks of uni (mostly 9-3) and placements (whatever shifts the mentor works I believe is the norm).

So I'd need somebody to take over the school run in the mornings on the days that I can't do it and somebody to pick up from school and nursery. During uni blocks I should be home by 4 the latest. The placements are a big unknown. And of course I won't need the same childcare hours on the same days each week (well, during uni blocks I will but not during placements) which makes it all a rather shitty job for a childminder.

Plus I won't have the financial resources to pay for something like a nanny as I'll just have the NHS bursary and ctc.

I'm getting really down about it but there's no way forward with this, is there?

Can you please help me figure out what I'd need my husband to do to make this work? Besides being he resident parent.

Pay for the childcare?

Regardless of who wants to split they are his children as well and he should be contributing to their upkeep.

Maybe he pays for a f/t nanny instead of maintenance?

I would apply for a HCA job first.

These courses are very competitive and experience will give you an extra advantage of getting on the course.

Then start the course when your youngest is in full time school.

Op I am well over half way through a midwifery degree, which has a similar structure to nursing. I have just finished a 6 week placement, during which I had to work 5 weeks of nights as my mentors happened to be working nights over that period. I also had an essay to do and an exam to prep for during that time, I was like a zombie. I am so grateful to have my dh and extended family to help, as well as a good childminder to fall back on when needed. I need all of this support, plus a few good friends for the odd school run when I am stuck to get me through. Without my absolute love of midwifery, I wouldn't be able to keep going. I love my course, and have no regrets, but doing a degree and full time placements alongside looking after a young family is incredibly tough, even with good family support.

I really don't see how you can split from dh, remain the resident parent but still expect to receive sufficient support from him to enable you to do this. I don't think finances will be your biggest problem, it will be the general juggling of things during 13 hour shifts and night shifts. When I am working two long shifts in a row (7.30am-9pm) it would kill me to have to come home and start sorting lunches and uniforms, checking homeworks were done, sorting any notes in their bag requesting a sig/money, etc etc. I don't see my children at all on those days as they are in bed when I leave and get home, it only works because their dad is here instead. Single mums do manage, but I don't know any that do without extensive help from family and friends.

Sorry for being so blunt, I do love my course and usually strongly encourage others to follow their dreams!

Why dont you stick to the path you are already on with your science degree?

How many degrees do you need? One for whatever direction the wind blows or your fancy atm takes you?

First of all, I want to apologise if I repeat amything. I've read most of your posts but only skimmed the rest.

I'm a single parent and due to start my nursing degree in September, I have one DS who is at the local primary. I have looked at different routes into nursing and found that many people start off as HCAs. Is that something you would consider? It offers the opportunity to do the degree alongside work in the future, and you would have excellent experience to start you off, could be flexible because its a job, not study and you would qualify for working tax credits which also pay a large proportion of childcare costs?
If you are absolutely set on doing this through uni, have you looked at after school and breakfast clubs that are available for your eldest?
In my village, there is an unregistered childminder who lots of people use as we have no official childcare at all, is there anyone like this you could trust and maybe share favours with if they have a smiliar struggle?
I am lucky to have the support of my parents but they work so I do know what a struggle awkward childcare can be.

Unregistered childminder wouldn't be legal until the children are 8+

And why the hell are people being so nasty?

Why not stick with teaching and use your science degree to teach it.

You may regret in future your head being elsewhere when your kids were young - with you doing all these degrees and time consuming training.

Enjoy your kids whilst they're young. They need you now.

Why not stick with teaching and use your science degree to teach it.

She'd still need long hours of childcare, probably unpredictable since a PGCE is also part coursework/lectures with shorter hours and part long hours on placements that can be a distance away.

As a cm I have minded for parents with ever changing shifts and different hours every week, I just require them to pay me for a minimum number of hours per week.

drspouse - no, if she's got a teaching qualification from Germany already, she can do the train to teach, which means you are in school, working 4 days a week and one day a week at uni, yes you'll only be paid as 4 days a week, but it's better than being on a bursery and the hours you'll need childcare for are standard ones, not early start/late finish shifts. (this also has the advantage of being at one school only).

after that, there are lots of further education colleges which means you just deal with 16+ year olds, not little DCs if that doesn't suit you.

Yes if it's a profession you want - why not stick to teaching if you have that qualification already, and teach something like science that's your special interest area.

Why start from scratch on the nurse training - that seems way too hard to me when juggling children under 5.

And why the hell are people being so nasty?

I don't think anyone is being nasty. Just realistic.

I also thought the advice was, sadly, realistic rather than unnecessarily negative.

Remember that Jack Monroe famously quit her job in the Fire Service because she was unable to successfully combine working shifts with childcare as a single parent, despite requests for flexibility or fixed hours.

Op - have you thought about looking at HCA work in general practice?
I have HCAs on my team and they do a varied and interesting job, but with school friendly hours.

I am close to retiring, and had several years at home when my DC were young. I worked for 15 years before I had my DC; I had to retrain in my 40s to keep my registration, but I have had further productive and enjoyable 15 years during which I have worked my way up to a senior clinical role. I will still have worked for over 30 years in my profession.

You could get some good experience, do some practical training, then do your degree as a mature student when your DC are older.

You could do an OU course related to health care which might gain you some credits towards your nursing degree later on.

Sorry - I missed the fact that you already have a science degree.
That could be a real advantage if you get some practical training as a HCA.

You might be able to do a shortened course later on.

It's well worth thinking about other careers apart from nursing because nursing courses are hugely oversubscribed so most people that apply don't get a place. All my classmates are doing their option B courses because they got turned down by every uni offering nursing and midwifery

Did you particularly want to be a nurse or go into health care in general? Choosing another option may be a lot easier to work childcare around, and might change the benefits you could get.

Right, there are a few posts that are unnecessarily nasty. Not because they are realistic but just nasty. No idea why I'm even responding.

I don't expect my "mum" friends to help out. At all. The reason I've been picking their brains is because well, they're my friends. They're the people I spend most of my time with, that I have the rare night out with, that I talk to about life and its problems. Like I said I have no family here, I don't know how the country works so they are my support system. Vital in my position. So why the heck should I not speak to them about it???

And when I said I never should have married my husband, then I'm saying this on an anonymous online forum to people who don't know me and not to him. I believe posters reflect on all sorts of stuff here that they don't say in real life.

Just to clarify, I do not have a complete German teaching degree because the placements gave me such panic attacks there was just no point finishing it in the end when I moved over here. It really is no something I want to ever go back to. It is not a job for me.

The science degree I'm doing at the moment because I enjoy it. It's something I do for myself. Some people enjoy gardening or baking or whatever. I enjoy learning. Doesn't mean I don't spend time with my children. They have my full attention Monday to Friday.

I'm open to other career suggestions but I don't want to be a hairdresser or dental hygienist.

I'm systematic. I like rules and lists. I have common sense ad I can come up with solutions. I can organise. I enjoy stuff that other people find boring. I don't want a job that comes home with me (like teaching with lots of prep work). I want to work my shift, be as efficient as I can (and I am that very much) and I want to go home after and be done. I don't want it to be a dead end job, I want room for progression and responsibility. I'm also not moving. Yes my husband is applying for a job in England but he doesn't want to move either and we're in a perfect location for him too as he can commute to pretty much any uni in Scotland within an hour.

So if anyone got any career ideas I'll consider them.

Oh, and when I said that I wouldn't want my children with 70% of the local childminders I didn't mean that what they were doing wrong was that they don't treat their charges as their own kids. I said that as an example of what the great childminders here were doing. There's a middle ground. But the ones I wouldn't use, well, let's just say at least one of them should be reported for what's happening. I don't know what's wrong about expressing that opinion when I and others have seen stuff that shouldn't happen. There are many bad childcare settings out there, just as there are many great ones and many inbetween. But if we have non verbal children we sadly don't always know what happens at their nursery/childminder or with their nanny. That's all.

Whats wrong with dental hygienist?

Not understanding your location and status. Where are you from. Are you and your husband British citizens, and located in Scotland. Or will you need a work visa.

Have a look here to see if you get any inspiration for healthcare careers which aren't nursing and may suit your cirumstances better.

I work in a uni with nursing students and lots of them have children, single mums aren't rare on the course either. If you are near to a large hospital you'll probably find that local childminders are used to looking after the children of healthcare professionals and are willing to be flexible with care. Email a few explaining your situation and see what responce you get, they'll be able to tell you how they manage it for other parents who need flexibility. In our uni you only need to spend 40% of your placement time on shift with your mentor. Outside of this shifts are negotiable, and if there is a good reason why you can't follow all of your mentors shifts they are generally sympathetic to this. Also I think you'd be entitled to childcare grant which would cover most of your childcare costs. Check on the student finance website to confirm and contact your uni to ask about shifts. If you really want to do it you can.