to resign myself to the fact that there's no way I can do this degree due to lack of childcare?

[MrsHuxtableReturns]

I'm desperately trying to think of ways to make this work.

I want to do a nursing degree in a couple of years time but I might well be a single parent by then.

DC will be 3 and 5 and in nursery (9-12) and school (9-3) respectively.

The degree has pretty random blocks of uni (mostly 9-3) and placements (whatever shifts the mentor works I believe is the norm).

So I'd need somebody to take over the school run in the mornings on the days that I can't do it and somebody to pick up from school and nursery. During uni blocks I should be home by 4 the latest. The placements are a big unknown. And of course I won't need the same childcare hours on the same days each week (well, during uni blocks I will but not during placements) which makes it all a rather shitty job for a childminder.

Plus I won't have the financial resources to pay for something like a nanny as I'll just have the NHS bursary and ctc.

I'm getting really down about it but there's no way forward with this, is there?

[MrsHuxtableReturns]

And it's not a question of him being a SAHD and me coming home every night. I wouldn't be and he has a career himself that is rather promising. So if he was the resident parent, all that would happen is that the DC would spend a lot of time in childcare while he works and I live somewhere else and study.

Yes, I want the whole show. I want my children and I want the chance to train in a career I want. But like I said, if the choice has to be made, it's children first and I'll stay in my current job.

[MrsHuxtableReturns]

I just came on here to ask for advice because I thought maybe the wise people on MN can think of practical solutions I can't think of. Like get a childminder from this to that time and get husband to cover from then etc.

[yearofthegoat]

I was just naive and stupid so this is me paying the price now.

It is hard to see possible consequences when you are young and inexperienced, especially if you didn't get any good advice from school or family. Don't be too hard on yourself.

[jellybeans]

The only people I know who managed to train as nurses had either husband's that worked 9 till 5 so could do evening and night care OR had extensive family help.

I would look into allied professionals. Eg CBT, OT. PT, radiography. Some of these involve shifts but not all. Also the uni holidays are often the same as other students (unlike nursing) and they do part time courses in many.

[Jackieharris]

Wait til the youngest is in school then get an au pair.

But you can't claim childcare for them (maybe students are different though?).

If you are in Scotland do t take advice from people talking about the English system it's entirely different.

Contact SAAS about bursaries for NHS courses.

8-6 should be easy to cover between ft nursery, breakfast, after school and holiday clubs. It's the out of hours placements that will be hard.

Tbh I've not known anyone to do that without their parents or DP 'babysitting'.

[drspouse]

Even if there is not a campus dedicated nursery there will be a nursery nearby (I can only find one Psychology Department creche and it is at Stirling, where they state there is a nursery adjacent to campus open 8-6).

That university, and at least one other Scottish one I've found, talk about a Lone Parents Childcare grant.

If you need a childminder but there aren't many about, then you've got a better chance if you book ahead. They usually have more space for school aged DCs anyway.

I can't work out if your STBX will be staying locally and so will you, or if you would preferably like to move away but can't see how, or if he would preferably like to move away? If you are both local, then surely find a CM right now, get a place in full time nursery (also easier post-3 than under-3) and STBX picks up from nursery when you can't and drops at home, CM picks up from school (it's usually hard for CM to pick up from nursery unless it's on the school site, as they can't take their after-school mindees to the nursery) and you pick up from CM.

You drop at nursery and DC1 makes lots of friends very very quickly that you can look after odd holiday days, to walk to school with.

Or, find a full time CM place (which WILL be expensive though) and you drop both at CM, if the CM will keep later then you pick up when you are working late, if not then STBX picks up.

Apologies if I've missed something!

[CalamitouslyWrong]

The university I work at has a rule that placements should normally be within 90 minutes travelling time of the university campus (not your home). So if you live a 1 hr commute from campus, your placement could be 90 minutes more in the other direction. The placement office try to avoid this, but placements are always in short supply and they have to make do.

[DinosaursRoar]

If you do want to be a single parent, then you need to pick a career that's going to make that as easy for everyone as possible. Nursing is a few years of juggling while you get your degree, then 20-30 years of juggling while you do the job. A job that requires a lot less juggling might be a better option.

[Inkanta]

Oh right. The marriage does sound pretty much over and you seem keen to move on.
Nursing is a tough option in your position with no supports. Also you may find it frustrating when it takes you away from your kids (in body and mind). You don't have to make this hard for yourself, - a good balance between home life and work seems a more realistic goal.
And you have to divorce your husband which can be easier said than done. As you predict he isn't going to make it easy.

[KiaOraOAotearoa]

OP, could you do the degree over several years? Can't remember what it is called, but basically you would take 5-6 years to finish, as opposed to 3. Or through an Open Uni course?
Basically, I would get a job as an HCA in the local hospital first and foremost. You get to know the hospital, the people, your limitations, trial run the childcare, have a solid reason when applying for the course.
Another thing I would do is to go to Uni (find nursing open days) and sit down with whoever is running the course and talk through your items.

I am going to go against the grain here and say you can do it. But you can't leave anything to chance, everything must be planned. As is: find out exactly when the placement blocks are, find out where and go and speak to the sister in charge. We all have kids, we've all struggled through school, it's not unheard of. They need people at the weekend, late shifts, offer to do those when the kids are with their dad. There are ways around it. Your holidays coincide with their school holidays, so that's covered.
Good luck.

[SilasGreenback]

I know a young friend training as a nurse straight from school. All the parents have dropped out 18 months into the course. Like you they assumed it was 9-3 for lectures and that wasn't the case - tutorials seem to be after this. And many of them just assumed because they had young children they would get allocated convenient placements and of course it doesn't work like that.

Have you thought about something like hairdressing or plumbing or electrician. These jobs seem to be things people always need and might be easier to be self employed once qualified and so setting your own hours. And the training should be regular hours. Not sure about student loans/grants for this sort of qualification.

[MrsHuxtableReturns]

drspouse some good detective work there... Yes, there is a nursery just off campus but they're not flexible at all. Basically I'd have to pay for a fulltime place and only use it half of the time. Which is not something I can afford.

The childcare grant the uni offers is also specifically not for nursing students. I appreciate the time you've taken with your post. I will re-read it carefully as it could be the basis for a plan.

I want to stay locally. It's taken me 8 years to be happy in this country and I finally am where we live now as I have a friends network and I just can't start over again. Husband wants to stay locally too, he's currently at he uni mentioned but his contract is up in September and his applications range from the same place, to Glasgow and England.

All of this makes me so indentifiable now, especially since I keep gong on about to my mum friends but anyway, I'm beyond caring, I just need to find an acceptable way forward.

The uni is only 15 minutes on the bus and the hospital that the uni tells me has the huge majority of placements is 30 minutes away. I have looked the programme up on thestudentroom and nobody is complaining about far off placements. Our nhs trust area isn't even 90 minutes travel time large. As soon as you hit 30 minutes in each direction it's the next trust with the next uni...

[MrsHuxtableReturns]

I'm not ready to give up on this yet. So next step will be to speak to childminders and the uni.

No, I don't want to be a childminder, plumber or electrician.

[Petallic]

You need to fit in bank work so you are eligible for childcare through tax credits. Tax credits allow you to average your hours over the year so it's fine that you work more hours in holidays and less during term time as long as your averaged weekly hours worked are above the minimum amount. Sorry if this has already been suggested.

[DinosaursRoar]

But OP, these are problems with qualifing as a nurse while a single parent, what about doing the job as a single parent? Can you talk to some people at the hospital, what are the chances of a newly qualified nurse being able to get set hours shifts so you can get childcare to work once you've qualified? How likely is it as a newly qualified nurse, you'll be able to just walk out at the end of your shift to pick up DCs if you manage to get childcare that works, or is it realistically often you'll have to stay late?

If it's not going ot be a realistic job to do as a single parent, then there's no point juggling the childcare to get the qualificatin in the first place. You are doing the wrong research.

If this isn't a 'life aim' career choice, I would rethink. There's a lot of SAHMs round where I live who used to be nurses or midwives. (obviously, if you live in an area with an acute shortage of nurses so you can be picky about what job you take at the end of getting the qualification, that's a different matter).

[Duckdeamon]

have you looked at other job options with prospects? There might be some more feasible ones than nursing.

An au pair combined with a CM sounds like your best childcare option as a single parent if space and money would allow.

How come your husband is making applications so far away? Does he expect you to move with him or to barely see the DC?

[Duckdeamon]

Electrician or plumber could both be better paid and better hours than nursing IMO!

[MrsHuxtableReturns]

Husband is applying for these jobs as he's an academic so there are only so many unis he can work at. But no, we're not moving. Glasgow wold be an easy daily commute, for the England one his plan is to only be there 2 days a week or so and work the rest from home.

[DinosaursRoar]

BTW - you mention you are from overseas, is English your second language? Your writen English is very good if that's the case. If you do have a different native language, is it on that's routinely taught in UK schools? If so, would you consider going into teaching? Schools are more likely to want to hire a language teacher who's a native speaker of the language they teach over someone else who's not.

[juneau]

TBH given that you live in Scotland I think you should just wait and see. The political situation may be very different very soon. Apparently the SNP, who are now slated to win EVERY seat in the election, are going to demand another referendum on independence next year - so you could soon be living in a Socialist utopia ...

And if not, well perhaps you could move to England If the Conservatives win (ha ha), we've been promised 30 hours of free childcare!

[DinosaursRoar]

(A female plumber or electrician would do very well in a lot of areas, many woman and older people do feel vunerable having a strange man in their house doing work, there's a woman running a painting and decorating company around here who does very well with this market and is often recommended for older people who might feel vunerable with a strange man in the house.)

[HagOtheNorth]

I think the OP is going to go for it whatever people say, and I hope it works out for her.
If not, she's able enough to drop out and change her mind and do something else. If she's 30 or so now, she's got another 38+ years of work ahead of her, and lots of time to choose something else.

[HagOtheNorth]

Why so keen on nursing, is that your background, what you always thought you'd do? Is that what your experiences so far have led you to? You seem very focused on it as the only choice.