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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect my Yr 9 DD to do 2hrs homework a night.

305 replies

sunshield · 28/04/2015 20:04

My year 9 daughter is at present only doing about 45 minutes a night homework (she refuses to do anymore). she is getting away doing so little at the moment. The school expects year 9 girls to do between 8-10 hours homework a week DD is spending less than half of that time on homework.

The school sent a letter out to parents asking 'how much time does your daughter spend on her homework' I sent the letter back saying less than 4 hours per week DD was sent to the year head for a dressing down. DD is no calling me every name under the sun (being very rude). She is saying all her friends spend the same amount of time on their homework and that being dressed down by the year head was unfair. The school expects pupils to achieve A /* or level8/9 grades for GCSE so she was told in no uncertain terms by the year head that 45 minutes a night on homework was unacceptable. This is in contrast to her elder year 10 sister who always does/did over 2 hours a night homework (both are at the same school) even her year 7 brother does 1 hour a night .

Am I correct to ban her from using her computer (except for school work) until she can prove she has spent two hours on her homework that night.

OP posts:
parsnipbob · 28/04/2015 22:01

Oh and also having a good degree doesn't mean a successful career, the friend earning most in my circle of friends right now is also the one who didn't even go to university. Most of my friends with degrees are either fancying about travelling or doing internships/crappy jobs in the City they don't enjoy.

I like my job and it pays relatively well but I could have done it without a degree too.

parsnipbob · 28/04/2015 22:01

Fannying, not fancying!

parsnipbob · 28/04/2015 22:03

Orlando I'm sure you did, and I'm not saying the 'no work' thing is recommended, my point was that micro managing your child's work and expecting them to do 2 hours homework a night is not necessarily the best thing for them!

ScorpioMermaid · 28/04/2015 22:05

That seems far too much. my girls are in y8 and y7 and as long as they do the homework that is set I'm happy. I do check it though and if I think it could be better or I think they've rushed I will tell them.

sleeponeday · 28/04/2015 22:05

And I don't think "work" should all be the stuff she's given, either. Reading around an area may not be set work, but it's very helpful in exams, and more importantly in many ways it enhances interest and sparks enthusiasm in a way pre-digested, spoonfed resource work just doesn't. History? Borrow good biographies of the major figures. Shakespeare? You need a book of lit crit perspectives on the set text(s) - interesting ones, challenging ones. Encourage her to Google the areas she works on (also run by her, if school haven't, the importance of critically evaluating what she reads).

Unfortunately schools have to worry about exam results for their own status. You have to worry about your child's ability to think, reason and learn, because that is what will serve her best in the future, at university and beyond.

Learning and study should never be solely what the school sets, in my view. Every kid needs some intellectual breathing space. How else can they find enthusiasm for the subject?

TinLizzie · 28/04/2015 22:07

BeaufortBelle Agree. I didn't expand my post to say that if a youngster (or indeed, oldster) is wont, then further education can be taken up at any time. In fact, I'm trying to explain that to 2 16 yr olds at the moment, who THINK they're university material and are relatively bright, but not bright enough for it to be worth years of debt! They're taking GCSEs and finding them ... medium difficult... and expecting that A levels will be much easier because they have fewer subjects! Then expect university. I think they'll be shocked when they get to A levels, because they've been attending a school who tells them they're gifted and talented in geography!!! WTF? What happened to being just good at a subject?!

BeaufortBelle · 28/04/2015 22:11

I agree with you tinlizzie.

MummyLuce · 28/04/2015 22:11

Yeah this is ridiculous. It's not the amount of time she spends doing it, it's how well she does it. What might take one pupil 30 minutes may take another 3 hours. I got straight a's at gcse and a-level and did probably 4hours total per week (Sundays only..)

sleeponeday · 28/04/2015 22:12

Parsnip, I don't disagree on helicoptering. But there should be a discussion on what is happening, and what the consequences may be - and to say any parent trying to have that discussion is helicoptering is a bit daft. I absolutely don't think this should be forced, but kids do sometimes need to be made to think about what they're doing - they're kids. Guidance is a parent's job, though at that age forcing emphatically is not.

And the no work does rather depend on subject - arts, and sure, less work was possible. But at my university, if someone claimed to do no work they were either clearly lying (time spent in libraries, or essays clearly visible in very small group supervisions discussed with intelligence and understanding does rather give the game away) or ended up with a 3rd, even for an arts subject, so it may depend somewhat on where you went. As for an MA... if you have a dissertation, it can't write itself, surely? No idea how taught MAs work, as I don't have one, but I would suspect you need to attend the classes or whatever?

Agree two hours is way too much at that age. And the head sounds ridiculous, asking parents for data and then penalising the pupils with the results - how does she know who is giving an accurate picture, for a start, and how is damaging parent/child relations like that helpful to anyone?

sleeponeday · 28/04/2015 22:14

Most of my friends with degrees are either fancying about travelling or doing internships/crappy jobs in the City they don't enjoy.

Can I ask how many years it has been since graduation? Because 15 years after I did, that has markedly not been the case. 2 or 3, and sure, it absolutely was.

Original poster
sunshield · 28/04/2015 22:14

I think that by spending only 15 minutes on a piece of homework, means that under no circumstances can it be your best work !. If DD gets a B grade for that, what grade would she get with a bit more effort.

One occasion this year her English teacher asked her why her work was so scruffy suggesting she did it on the school bus on the way to school. DD admitted that and got a lunchtime detention to redo the homework. DDs elder sister has a much better work ethic (that's why she is taking Maths/English literature in June) a year early. DD is more than capable enough for a grammar school. The school gives them 2 days to do each homework, so you are right even 10 hours over 6 days = just over 1 and half hours a night.

OP posts:
Jessica2point0 · 28/04/2015 22:15

Schools need good results to attract the next generation of parents. So slt put pressure on teachers to deliver unrealistic exam results. Teachers pay depends on exam results so they put pressure on the kids and teach to the exam rather than developing interest in the subject. Parents want to support the school and believe the target grades are realistic, so they put pressure on the kids. Some kids absorb the pressure, some ignore it. Others crack, and so we have really high levels of mental health problems in teens and young adults.

Education is important, and exam grades can open doors. But happiness matters too.

parsnipbob · 28/04/2015 22:15

No ok, I concede you are right there - obviously dissertations etc have to be written. I did my undergrad one in a week. MA took about three/four. I work better under close deadlines, which is just personal to me. But if my mother knew I left things that late she'd have had a heart attack I expect.

I did do an arts subject so you are perfectly right there.

parsnipbob · 28/04/2015 22:16

Graduated 5 years ago for whoever asked, so not v long ago.

Idontseeanydragons · 28/04/2015 22:17

The obsession with getting children into university pisses me off tbh. They're told they've failed if they get less than A*, told they can and should get into a degree course and so many drop out after the first term because they've been sold a pup. Many people do really well going down the academic route but if we're honest many do well leaving school and getting a job.

OrlandoWoolf · 28/04/2015 22:18

I did do an arts subject so you are perfectly right there

Science degree Grin

9am lectures whilst my film studies friends stayed in bed

Lab till 5pm plus write up.

Loads of essays. Loads of stuff to learn and remember.

And then I go and do a M.Sc in it as well Grin

Still - kind of essential for the career I went into. For a bit.

PerspicaciaTick · 28/04/2015 22:18

She'll learn to lie soon enough - telling the truth about the amount of time she actually spends on homework is only garnering punishment. So she'll start lying to avoid the punishment.

Just think what she could achieve if she was supported to improve the quality of her work rather than punished for the amount of time she sat in front of it.

wowfudge · 28/04/2015 22:22

It sounds like a pretty horrible regime. She'll end up rebelling and railing against it all if you're not careful.

I cannot recall doing that much homework at her age - some subjects set short pieces of work, others longer. I only spent the time it took to complete it on it. From what I remember I didn't do huge amounts of revision for GCSE - some of it was course work anyway - for A Levels I got really stuck in.

JsOtherHalf · 28/04/2015 22:23

I averaged 20 hours a week homework at O Level - it was horrendous. Some nights I was doing an hour between getting home and having dinner, then another 3 hours before bed.

I don't think I've ever done that amount of work at home since, including my degree.

I don't know how helpful it was.

parsnipbob · 28/04/2015 22:23

Orlando honestly didn't mean to offend you - I was just responding to the poster who said it was impossible to get good grades without slogging yourself half to death as I am living proof that is not the case.

I did English though so degree was essay heavy.

I absolutely hold my hands up to say that if I'd done science subjects, I would have needed to work harder. I still maintain the OP's attitude is daft though.

JsOtherHalf · 28/04/2015 22:24

I completed homework on the bus too, and in the toilet between classes...rofl.

pointythings · 28/04/2015 22:24

I think that by spending only 15 minutes on a piece of homework, means that under no circumstances can it be your best work

Depends on the subject. In maths and science subject it most definitely can, if the child understands the topic well and knows how to do the working out and gets the right answers. DD1 whips through algebra like that. For circle theorems she needs more time.

In humanities/essay-based subjects you're right.

Context is everything.

OrlandoWoolf · 28/04/2015 22:25

Not offended Grin

I just remember my friends at Uni who seemed to do a lot less work than others.

Sallystyle · 28/04/2015 22:26

None of mine have ever done that much. They don't even get that much.

The only time mine have spent that long on schoolwork is my ds who is now revising for his GCSEs.

OrlandoWoolf · 28/04/2015 22:31

Homework guidance was scrapped in 2012. By one Michael Gove

www.theguardian.com/education/2012/mar/04/homework-guidelines-scrapped

I think that amount of homework is unfair - I must have wasted hours of my life doing it but it was the expectation. Still - at boarding school and it was set time so no interference with family life.

If I had been at home, I think it would have made a difference.