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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect my Yr 9 DD to do 2hrs homework a night.

305 replies

sunshield · 28/04/2015 20:04

My year 9 daughter is at present only doing about 45 minutes a night homework (she refuses to do anymore). she is getting away doing so little at the moment. The school expects year 9 girls to do between 8-10 hours homework a week DD is spending less than half of that time on homework.

The school sent a letter out to parents asking 'how much time does your daughter spend on her homework' I sent the letter back saying less than 4 hours per week DD was sent to the year head for a dressing down. DD is no calling me every name under the sun (being very rude). She is saying all her friends spend the same amount of time on their homework and that being dressed down by the year head was unfair. The school expects pupils to achieve A /* or level8/9 grades for GCSE so she was told in no uncertain terms by the year head that 45 minutes a night on homework was unacceptable. This is in contrast to her elder year 10 sister who always does/did over 2 hours a night homework (both are at the same school) even her year 7 brother does 1 hour a night .

Am I correct to ban her from using her computer (except for school work) until she can prove she has spent two hours on her homework that night.

OP posts:
sunshield · 28/04/2015 22:31

I never did any homework at all come to think of it I did no classwork either, hence my limited qualifications (that could be written on a fag packet). However, we are talking about DD2 and ensuring she does not end up following down my pathway to mediocrity...

OP posts:
TinLizzie · 28/04/2015 22:33

What's important? As a parent; KNOWING your child knows enough to get by ok and has the basics of a rounded education. If your child is inclined towards a classroom situation and finds learning that way easy, then great. But many children don't find that method suits them and learn another way - sometimes harder - but oftentimes end up in a very well paid job despite/because of that. Or ... you know ... running their own company. Wisdom can't be taught at school and so you really shouldn't worry if your child seems bright but can't settle to exam situations. I couldn't.

I run my own business, successfully. I'm sure my teachers would have put me down as a waste of space (if they'd ever actually noticed me).

Jessica2point0 · 28/04/2015 22:34

Just to add my experience. I did very little work at GCSE, some at A level (3 sciences and maths). When I went to uni (chemical engineering) I realised pretty sharpish that I needed to do more work. So I did. The fact that I managed top grades at school without the work didn't prevent me working hard at uni. Everyone's different!

TinLizzie · 28/04/2015 22:35

"...mediocrity..."

is your choice, past the age of about 18. Can't blame schools or anyone else after that age, I'm afraid.

ArgyMargy · 28/04/2015 22:36

I don't remember doing more than an hour's homework a night at O level - mind you I did half as many subjects as they do now for GCSE. And yes, got good grades and a good degree from a RG Uni. Why do they have to do so many subjects now? No wonder they struggle to cover it all.

kslatts · 28/04/2015 22:37

I think 2 hours a night is ridiculous. My dd is in year 10, she doesn't get much homework, last year at parents evening I asked the teacher about the lack of homework and she explained that the way they work is that they are usually able to complete the required amount of work in class, depending on the subject some pupils will then be set homework to complete / extend what they have learnt. Although dd doesn't normally get much homework, now in year 10 she spends approx. 1 hour a night revising. She manages her own revision time. She is also on track to get good GCSE grades. it's all very well forcing a child to spend a set amount of time doing their homework, however what will happen when your dd goes to university and you are not there to enforce the rules. Surely its better to encourage her to manage her own time effectively.

My dd also dances 3 times a week and often meets up with friends outside of school, although this does tend to be at the weekend.

TinLizzie · 28/04/2015 22:38

And OP, are you saying you're unhappy with your life and it's not what you would want for your daughter?

If so, let her make her choice. But make her choice ok, whatever that happens to be. Don't judge, but support (unless she's being really, really stupid, in which case judge away!). If she's happy, then life's ok.

MargoReadbetter · 28/04/2015 22:39

I haven't read the replies. I think 2 hours is far, far too long. Ten extra hours a week?!

RaskolnikovsGarret · 28/04/2015 22:39

Two hours doesn't seem a lot at all to me. DDs in y7 and 9 get about 2 hours and tbh got similar amounts in the latter stages of junior school. Sometimes more, sometimes less. They do instrument practice and sports clubs too.

They don't seem remotely stressed. I don't see any of it as I'm at work, and by the time I'm home, they're usually on YouTube or something, or whatsapping friends. I certainly don't put any pressure on them, and they are very happy and laid back. But they do well at school and like doing well. Might be different if they weren't self motivated. But two hours really doesn't seem excessive to me in the scheme of things.

Don't like the idea of compulsory two hours though. That seems a bit strict.

DarkHeart · 28/04/2015 22:41

2 hours a night is madness! My ds year 8 is at an independent school and he gets 30 mins - 1 hour max per night and not every night. It is a very good school with excellent results.

Lonecatwithkitten · 28/04/2015 22:43

I always had similar levels of homework, at boarding school so 4.30 to 5.30pm, then 7pm to 8.30pm every week night in year 9 and three hours on a Saturday morning. Increasing levels upwards.
I did similar levels of study through both my degrees and now do a similar in addition to working full time for my PGDip.
Personally believe that hard work will get you where ever you want to go, but you have to prepared to graft for it.

OldRoan · 28/04/2015 22:48

I was at boarding school - homework was 7:30-9 every night, with sixth form (and to a certain extent GCSE) expected to spend a little bit longer at the weekend (or earlier in the evening). It's not a ridiculous workload if you are disciplined and get off facebook etc, so it is 90 minutes of working and doesn't turn into 4 hours of faffing about.

OrlandoWoolf · 28/04/2015 22:49

Waves to boarding school people.

Hakluyt · 28/04/2015 22:50

If a supposedly high achieving selective school can't get the kids As at GCSE without expecting them to do more than a day's extra work outside school hours them they are doing something badly wrong. One of the few things I liked about my dd's grammar school was that they didn't do much homework until GCSE year- they took the line that they worked them very hard indeed in school so there was no need to work them outside school as well.

Schools only do the big homework thing because parents like it.

TinLizzie · 28/04/2015 22:56

Personally believe that hard work will get you where ever you want to go, but you have to prepared to graft for it.

Absolutely agree with this. But it doesn't mean that that hard work naturally comes at a specific age. I hated school and still hate a classroom scenario, 30/40 years later. But I choose my educational scenarios and avoid those that will teach me nothing because I'm uncomfortable. There's a famous quote that says 'education is wasted on the young' and 90% of the time I'd agree.

If your child isn't shining at school, doesn't mean he/she won't ever shine. Don't forget Richard Branson. Alan Sugar. Um.... most CEOs of most companies (look 'em up - they were all labelled as 'a bit thick' at school)!!!

Hakluyt · 28/04/2015 22:59

I have a non grammar year 9 who is predicted, insofar as you can predict such things, As and A*s. There is no way I would expect 2 hours a night homework from him at this stage- he's got better things to do!

Ludoole · 28/04/2015 23:06

I dont even see my year 10 ds's homework as he chooses to use his breaks and dinner time to do so he can have his home time free.

sunshield · 28/04/2015 23:06

Hakulyt. How much time does your sons Comprehensive expects its bright year 9 s to spend on homework each night ?.

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 28/04/2015 23:07

"If your child isn't shining at school, doesn't mean he/she won't ever shine. Don't forget Richard Branson. Alan Sugar. Um.... most CEOs of most companies (look 'em up - they were all labelled as 'a bit thick' at school)!!!"

That really is bullshit!

Jenny2014 · 28/04/2015 23:10

I'm fairly sure that I went to the same school your dd attends. We didn't have a social life at all by the time we'd travelled to and from school and attended sports team training etc. It is tough and they do set incredibly high standards but it sets them up for life with a good work ethic. I've never worked harder in my life, with super early starts and late finishes. If she's doing what has been set, and achieving good grades with that then it's down to the teachers.

Hakluyt · 28/04/2015 23:24

sunshield-it's not a comprehensive- it's a "secondary modern". Just looked it up (because I don't believe in set times so I didn't know). They are expected to spend 45 minutes per homework task. He has English, maths and science every week. Usually one other subject, and some vocabulary to learn. So 4 lots of 45 minutes a week. Usually maths takes him half that time. Often English or history will take longer because he gets interested and does more than is required. But the expectation is 3 hours a week. Ds might do 4 most weeks.

LucyBabs · 28/04/2015 23:24

Why is that bullshit hak

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 28/04/2015 23:29

Bloody grim.

Rather have a happy healthy kid doing her best at school and at play.

And this school sounds just awful. No pastoral regard for pupils or parents.

Thank god for great comps
That support all their kids from the As to the Es.

Education is across all aspects of like not just fucking grades to make the school look good.

Hakluyt · 28/04/2015 23:29

Because most successful people actually have excellent educations. The reason you always hear about Alan Sugar and Richard Branson is because they are the exceptions that prove the rule.

WorraLiberty · 28/04/2015 23:31

2 hours a night, seriously??

Where would these kids find time for things like practising a musical instrument (if they play one), or doing sporting activities, or having any kind of social life?

It leaves little or no time for a work/life balance.