To expect my Yr 9 DD to do 2hrs homework a night.

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My year 9 daughter is at present only doing about 45 minutes a night homework (she refuses to do anymore). she is getting away doing so little at the moment. The school expects year 9 girls to do between 8-10 hours homework a week DD is spending less than half of that time on homework.

The school sent a letter out to parents asking 'how much time does your daughter spend on her homework' I sent the letter back saying less than 4 hours per week DD was sent to the year head for a dressing down. DD is no calling me every name under the sun (being very rude). She is saying all her friends spend the same amount of time on their homework and that being dressed down by the year head was unfair. The school expects pupils to achieve A /* or level8/9 grades for GCSE so she was told in no uncertain terms by the year head that 45 minutes a night on homework was unacceptable. This is in contrast to her elder year 10 sister who always does/did over 2 hours a night homework (both are at the same school) even her year 7 brother does 1 hour a night .

Am I correct to ban her from using her computer (except for school work) until she can prove she has spent two hours on her homework that night.

what a weird time based obsession. i would be mortified if this had led to my child being told off. if they had a problem with her homework, presumably they would have mentioned it before?

I wouldn't have answered the questionnaire. It isn't relevant. What is relevant is how good her results are and whether she needs further support from the school and/or a kick up the arse or whether she is perfirming to the best of her ability.

Two hours a night is fucking ridiculous whether she's pulling in A*s or Ds. It's not going to motivate her, it's going to piss her off. And if she has even a tiny bit of guile and rebelliousness she'll find a way around everything you put in place and you'll alienate her even further.

I didn't do nearly that amount a night (maybe a week) and got straight A's... Honestly if you're bright GCSE's really shouldn't take that much work or effort. Back off, that level of pressure is ludicrous. You should be happy for her to acheive whatever she is capable of with a reasonable amount of effort (and that is not reasonable)

My son's school didn't have those sorts of guidelines and it's a Sunday Times No 1 school. My daughter's did and it's on a downward trajectory.

Both my children spent about 30 mins a night, if that, in Yr 9 - in fact I think DS did barely a hand's turn. DD worked a bit harder.

In Yr 11 they might have done 30 minutes to an hour a night and both pulled out the stops for mocks and the real thing. DS got 10 A - damn the two As - he should have worked harder. DD is predicted about half A and half A.

If they have to do two hours a night plus from year 9 to get those sorts of results I'm not sure they will be able step up to the more in depth analysis required at A'Level.

It's great if they are bright but they need a life too.

I think you were totally unreasonable not to support your child insofar as her teachers were concerned. If a mother can't support her child I'm not sure who can really.

Oh God OP. Stop beating yourself up because your Year 9 is being told she's not doing enough homework! My 3 SDs were doing really, really well at school and were in the G&T 'classes', or whatever they're called.

At the dinner table, we ascertained that they had no idea what countries were in Europe, what the Continents are, where Counties in England are and indeed, WHAT Counties we have. So... we took charge (every other weekend!) and had a map of the world on the wall outside their bedrooms. We made a game of knowing what countries sat where.

The point I'm making is that school doesn't teach them everything they need to know, so much starts at home. How happy are you with what they/he/she knows already? Do YOU feel comfortable that they are at the right level and how can you address that and/or who needs to address that?

Education isn't everything. Really - it isn't.

I went to a state residential grammar We did 1 hour a night from year 7-9 then 2 hours in years 10/11 and 2.5-3 hours in years 12/13. We certainly got enough work to keep us busy for those hours. For punishment, if you didn't complete your prep you'd have to go to 7-9 detention. For some it was a hindrance and others thrived.

Parsnip, it's very unusual to get results like yours without a substantial amount of effort. You must be exceptionally gifted to achieve 11 A* at GCSE without having to try hard. However, most kids are not academically gifted like this and cannot achieve top grades without putting a lot of time and effort in.

Why is 2 hours a night too much? If she starts homework at 4pm, she can finish at 6pm and have at least 4 hours of free time every night. 4 hours a night is enough time to relax, play on computer, see friends etc.

Her siblings manage to spend the required time on honework, why can't she?

I suspect her teachers already knew she was slacking. It's obvious if one child is spending half the required time on homework, they will know she can work to a better standard, hence the telling-off.

I think you either need to stick to the schools policies or, if she is truly unhappy or unable to commit to studying at this level, move her to a different school where there is less focus on academic achievement.

Caspian it isn't actually, as several others on this thread have had similar experiences.

Yes I was academic but then if your kid isn't academic and doesn't enjoy it why pressure them into getting all A*s in the first place?

I think your calculations are wrong OP. 8 hour of homework per week is 1 hour per night not 2 plus a few hours on the weekend.

Caspian I would argue that if a child has to do the equivalent of an adult working day (9 to 5.30 if we allow half an hour for lunch) to get those grades in a school which is supposedly catering for the elite, then the school is not working very effectively during its teaching time. It should be quality (of the homework set) that counts, not quantity.

I agree with Parsnip. I went to a grammar school, used my lunch hour to do homework and did less in the evenings. It's called management of your own time and it's a LIFE LESSON your school should be encouraging. I have 12 GCSE's, 4 A-levels and two first class degrees from good universities. I've seen first hand how helicopter parenting results in students getting to university, going off the rails once 'released' and ending up with a dreaded (and pointless) 2:2.

Your child's school should be teaching skills for life (time management and self discipline) rather than focussing on it's league tables.

If she's getting good results then it's not about the time she's spending. Some children take longer to do tasks than others. Rather than a dressing down, I'd be interested to know how the school was planning to stretch my child if they think she is getting through the tasks she has been set quickly and is achieving the grades she should be.

JustMarried I totally agree with you, at uni you can spot the kids whose parents stood over their shoulders micromanaging their studies a mile off. They're the ones who got to uni and didn't have a clue how to manage their own study time effectively.

sorry another adding to the clamor of astonishment - 2 hours is way too much the poor girl.
surely it takes as long as it takes as long as her grades are ok why force more. I agree its a little mean for her to be turned on by you and the school too, poor girl.

The school expects pupils to achieve A /* or level8/9 grades for GCSE

That's horrendous. How awful were the alternative schools you looked at? Is it too late to move her somewhere else?

Eight hours a week means one hour every night and 3 at the weekend. While that is on the high side, I really don't think it's outrageous. As for "downtime", people need to remember that teenagers only spend about 20% of their total waking hours at school.

What really gets me is how so many schools set very little homework (and that often comes in clumps). How do they imagine children who have never got in the habit of regular homework will be able to cope sensibly with the demands of revision? I'd far rather have regular homework to reinforce learning than panicked cramming at the end of year 11 (which is what is going on here at the moment!).

I think enthusiasm is key and keeping that fire alive, once its gone, your on a downward slope.

Am I missing something here? I literally didn't do a bean if revision for any of my GCSEs.

I revised for my French A level because I knew my grammar wasn't up to scratch but I didn't do much for the others.

As for homework, I did it last thing on a Sunday night or in registration/lunch the day it was due.

I'm not saying that's normal or right for all kids, but nor is forcing them to do 2 hours a night!!

I'm really surprised that the school couldn't tell that your DD wasn't spending enough time on her homework.
Either her homework was not of an acceptable standard, in which case they could tell by looking at the work itself and then speaking to your DD directly, or they can't tell by looking (and therefore needed to send the questionnaire) in which case I'm not sure what the problem is because she must be producing reasonably quality work.
Perhaps they should focus on telling your DD what extra information they are looking for her to include to make her work richer and earn her A* grades - rather than just telling her off for not spending enough time on her homework.

Education isn't everything. Really - it isn't

Aah now TinLizzie I beg to differ with you over that. Education is everything; it's qualifications that aren't and I think we as a country/nation are turning out far too many very well qualified young people who sadly are very poorly educated.

If the homework is stressing and upsetting her, don't force it. If she's just lazy and believes the bullshit the others are spouting about brilliant results without effort, then she needs a conversation about her future plans and prospects, and about the fact that working is as much a habit as lazing is.

Does she want to go to uni? Is she aware how competitive it is to get into the good ones, now half the kids in the country apply? Work is a habit, and while 2 hrs a night is not only bonkers, it's more than the advised average, she should be doing an hour a night and then at least 2 or 3 on Sunday, IMO, when she's nicely rested and fresh.

The "no work and still able to get good results" will partly be bravado and partly true. Some kids can do that, as some kids are just naturally adept at school work. Those are the kids who hit a wall at university when they can't rely on that approach anymore if they want to do well. Your DD shouldn't be forced, but she should be encouraged to understand the lifelong effects choices now can have. It isn't the brightest and best who do brilliantly at uni. Its the brightest and best who love what they are studying and also understand they have to work through the boredom wall to get on and to the good part.

There's also the possibility that she isn't suited to grammar school at all, and that she's not trying because if she doesn't try, then she hasn't got to find out if she's actually good enough. Kids constantly told they are bright can be afraid of failing, and prefer to be seen as brilliant but lazy, than dutifully plodding but just not top mark material. You may find she'd do a lot better if she was told that there isn't really any such thing as clever - the people who know a lot are the people who read a lot, and the people who excel in any area do so because they enjoy it and so put in a lot of hours. And also that everyone has to do that, and to break through the boredom sometimes, to do well.

She also needs sleep and down time. If she gets in at say 4.30, she needs time to rest, time to eat, time to wash and help out with a few simple tasks (lay table, put a load of laundry on) as well as time to study. Given she should take a 20 minute break for every 40 studying, and should be in bed by say 10 or 10.30, 2 hours working in the week may be ambitious.

Sleep, the 'not much work' approach worked for me at uni too - got a first, thanks. Also have an MA. Not saying it works for all kids but it certainly isn't that or 2 hours homework a night!!

And as I have said before it's the helicopter parents who do their kids the most disservice uni wise as these kids have no idea how to manage their own time. They're used to being micro managed.

Some kids are not academic and find a classroom situation difficult but it doesn't make them stupid. My best friends at school were top of the class in every subject and ended up in a lifetime job working for the local council. Good job but hardly earth shattering, and they were happy to settle for that, despite the fact that everyone expected them to be university material.

Those with an entreprenurial spirit will find their own way, education or not.

School doesn't suit everyone but it doesn't mean the child will amount to nothing. Don't write anyone off too early!

My DD1 went to a state grammar. This sort of thing is exactly the reason I didn't even put my DD3 in for the 11+ and she joined DD2 at our local comprehensive, which is pretty good.

I actually felt for several years that I had "lost" my DD1 to the grammar school because of this sort of pressure, and she did tend to react by getting ill much more often than the other two. They combined the homework demands with the expectation of also pursuing extra-curricular activities after school too and the pressure was totally ridiculous. Academia and achieving A or preferrably A* grades was everything, and they acted as if no other grades even existed. A B was considered a failure.

Two hours a night is too much. If she can get reasonable grades by doing everything in under an hour then let her. She needs some downtime too.

I would back right off. If my DD1's grammar school was anything to go by, your daughter is already under a lot of pressure. She needs to know that you are there for her and that she can trust you as her confidant, not that you are going to drop her in it as you did.

Unless there really is a problem with her behaviour, attitude and achievement levels, I wouldn't take the school "rule" on homework too literally. If they ask then just tell them what they want to hear. She IS doing her homework. A dressing down from the head of year seems totally unwarranted.

Crikey thats mad. Just reading Free to Learn by Peter Gray at the moment and do think that its pressure like that that puts children off learning. And surely its the quality of work shes doing not the length of time it takes her - that could easily mean shes being punished for being bright and quicker than her peers, madness!

Sleep, the 'not much work' approach worked for me at uni too - got a first, thanks

Some of us had to work bloody hard to pass their exams. Remembering pathways, equations, mechanisms etc doesn't just happen. I wish I could have done not much work but then I'd have fucked up my exams.

I worked bloody hard for O-levels and A-Levels.

But well done you for not doing much work. That approach doesn't work for all people and it's not an approach I'd recommend.