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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect my Yr 9 DD to do 2hrs homework a night.

305 replies

sunshield · 28/04/2015 20:04

My year 9 daughter is at present only doing about 45 minutes a night homework (she refuses to do anymore). she is getting away doing so little at the moment. The school expects year 9 girls to do between 8-10 hours homework a week DD is spending less than half of that time on homework.

The school sent a letter out to parents asking 'how much time does your daughter spend on her homework' I sent the letter back saying less than 4 hours per week DD was sent to the year head for a dressing down. DD is no calling me every name under the sun (being very rude). She is saying all her friends spend the same amount of time on their homework and that being dressed down by the year head was unfair. The school expects pupils to achieve A /* or level8/9 grades for GCSE so she was told in no uncertain terms by the year head that 45 minutes a night on homework was unacceptable. This is in contrast to her elder year 10 sister who always does/did over 2 hours a night homework (both are at the same school) even her year 7 brother does 1 hour a night .

Am I correct to ban her from using her computer (except for school work) until she can prove she has spent two hours on her homework that night.

OP posts:
parsnipbob · 28/04/2015 20:38

Pyjamas likewise.

Icimoi · 28/04/2015 20:39

8-10 hours a week doesn't equate to two hours a night, unless they do nothing at weekends. I would have thought it made more sense to go for around an hour a night and 2-3 hours at weekends.

Another one here who did very little homework and did absolutely fine in exams.

OrlandoWoolf · 28/04/2015 20:40

The school expects pupils to achieve A / or level8/9 grades for GCSE*

My year 9 daughter is at present

The school expects year 9 girls to do between 8-10 hours homework a week DD is spending less than half of that time on homework

I can't see the confusion. She seems to be in year 9.

notquiteruralbliss · 28/04/2015 20:40

You are massively unreasonable. None of mine (high achieving grammars) have ever done 2h per night homework. They have far better things to do.

OrlandoWoolf · 28/04/2015 20:42

pyjamas

I went to a very good and high achieving school. It was expected that you do 2 hours homework a night by that age. Because that's what they'd always done and I have no doubt it's what they still do.

Whether it's right is a different matter. It's the expectation.

parsnipbob · 28/04/2015 20:42

I would not send my DC somewhere that was the expectation.

Wantsunshine · 28/04/2015 20:44

There are teachers on here complaining they do a couple of hours a night work after a full school day. Totally unrealistic for a child to do this.

OrlandoWoolf · 28/04/2015 20:45

Just checked.

My old school sets 15 pieces of homework a week in year 9.

Jessica2point0 · 28/04/2015 20:46

sunshield, that happens to most yr9s in my school. They generally get over it in yr10 when GCSE courses start. She should be getting at least 'good' in the vast majority of homework though - 'adequate' implies 'just enough to not get in trouble'. Have you had parents evening yet?

Wantsunshine · 28/04/2015 20:47

Also if the child is picked up at say half 5 then does 2 hours homework what about swimming, clubs and other things for a well rounded person?

pointythings · 28/04/2015 20:47

It's perfectly possible to achieve highly without doing insane amounts of homework... Your DD is not working for the glorification of the school, she is working to be the best she can be. If she is achieving what she should with the amount that she does, the school needs to settle for that. They may be high achieving, but they sound very insecure.

Mrsj70 · 28/04/2015 20:47

My DS starts his GCSE's in less than 2 weeks and isnt doing two hours a night! Predicted A and A* grades in local comp.

TwoOddSocks · 28/04/2015 20:48

I remember my school, having some similarly ridiculous level of "expectation". I never did more than an hour was considered hard working and achieved straight A*/As. If she's working around 9am-4pm at school another hour at home brings that up to a full time day. I don't see why you'd expect a year 9 to do any more than that.

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 28/04/2015 20:48

Op comparing her to her siblings like that will help no one.

Not every child can get or wants A*s.

Seriously why are you letting the school rule your home life like this and driving a wedge between you and your dd. she might think fuck it then and rebel.

She might be your fiery child and needs different handling to the other 2 who might be more academic and less adventurous/rebellious.

Be very careful here it's that dangerous age. Sad

And the school are quite wrong. I
Would be on the attack here and asking why so much needs to be covered at home.

Mistigri · 28/04/2015 20:53

My nearly 14 year old might do 2 hours in an average week ... but she is an organised and efficient student who can probably do as much in 2 hours as most students can in 4. All her set homework gets done (much of it during school hours).

If your daughter is getting good results why would she do more? More importantly what would she do that she isn't doing now?

1Morewineplease · 28/04/2015 20:56

My daughter went to a grammar school and had about two hours of homework a night... My son went to a non selective high school and was expected to do 3 to 4 hours a night at around the same time!..there was meant to be a homework timetable but the teachers continued to set homework regardless !... Irrespective of whether they marked it!!!.. Schools are desperately answerable to the governors and the league tables. . There's no escape... It's drudge, drudge, drudge all the way.

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 28/04/2015 20:56

orlando

Not disputing that it was your schools expectation but like parsnip says it's wrong.

No child of mine would go to such a piss poor school that expected or needed kids to do that much home study.

My kids had hobbies, friends, sports and dare I say fun and chill time after school.

Raising people not robots to pass exams for the school stats.

Pyjamaschocolateandwine · 28/04/2015 20:57

1morewine

Well why send them there then?

madeuplovesong44 · 28/04/2015 21:00

I have 11 A*s and A's at GCSE, 4 A's at A level and a good degree from a top university. I have also spent ten years in and out of psychiatric wards with complex mental health problems and have not had any sort of career.
I'm sure my parents wanted the best for me but I also have no doubt that the pressure I was under as a teenager contributed to my extreme emotional distress.

I understand homework is important but please consider the bigger picture. Let your daughter enjoy being young and responsibility free.

ihatethecold · 28/04/2015 21:01

Poor kid.

SuburbanRhonda · 28/04/2015 21:02

You need to chill the fuck out, OP, or else she is going to down tools well before she gets to GCSEs.

Ubik1 · 28/04/2015 21:06

She's 9!

My dd does about an hour a week. She does do a lot of reading, drawing, swimming etc after school. Hangs about with her pals.

Ubik1 · 28/04/2015 21:09

God sorry - Year 9

Well I was doing about two hours a night at my comprehensive at that age .

Idontseeanydragons · 28/04/2015 21:10

Ok so presumably she is capable of getting better grades than she is achieving at the moment. Work with her then, sit down with her and ask her how she feels she could gradually improve to get closer to an A : make suggestions like a bit more research, double checking her work etc. help her build up her confidence in her ability before you start letting the school bully her (and you!) into 2 full hours of stress every night!

Littlef00t · 28/04/2015 21:12

My parents didn't 'force' me to do 2 hours homework at that age, but did have a technology ban 6-8 so I got into the habit of it. I do think that's quite a bit, I was always knackered by the time I got home, but would do some Saturday morning to balance out.

My brother was heavily monitored to ensure he worked hard, but it bit my parents on the bum as once he was at uni, he didn't have anyone breathing down his neck and ended up failing the first year. It would have been far better to let him slide younger, perhaps not get such good grades, but hopefully instil a work ethic of his own.