Be honest, does your two year old sit at the table during a family meal out? Should I have been embarrassed today?

[GlitteringJasper]

I've a ds 25 months, so just recently turned two.

I worry he's behind other children his age in some ways even though health visitor and Dr assure me otherwise.

For example, today I was out for lunch with the family and while other children were sitting happily at the table, my ds wouldn't sit. He wasn't annoying other people, just strolling around our table, crawling underneath,refusing to eat his food. I find it so embarrassing that he can't sit at the table.

I'm a teacher and a class of 30 is no problem but my own child runs rings around me.

When my ds takes an idea in his mind, i.e. not to eat, not to sit at the table, there is NOTHING anyone can do to change his mind.

Another example, my friend has a ds 4 months younger than my ds and we met for lunch recently, her ds sat colouring in for 1.5 hours and ate his own meal, totally by himself. My ds would go nuts if I tried to make him sit that long, he'd scream blue murder and he's really poor at feeding himself. If he so much as gets a crumb on his hand or sauce etc he gets really agitated and upset.

I just feel he gets overly upset over the most minor things.

His speech is very poor, understands everything but v v few words and we feel he gets frustrated as he can't communicate properly.

Anyway, today I felt like everyone was looking at me, as if icant control my son.

I don't enjoy going out with my ds.

I've a 4 month old so it's even more awkward.

Today I'd have just taken him home when he started acting up but it's hard with a baby in tow.

How well does your 2 year old sit at the table?

This is why highchairs were invented!

Was he not put in a high chair?

My DS (now 3) would sit at the table well for food and when out would need a bit of extra entertaining because of the longer time but would still do it. But then it's always been a thing with us that we sit at the table for food and he waits for everyone else to finish before he's allowed to get down ( mainly started so DH and I actually got to eat! But is also just good manners)

Mines 2 years 6 months. She sits if she feels like it, usually she crawls around the place. Or runs and runs around the table, if we go out we take stickers and paper for her to stick on. But mostly we try not to go out.

My opinion your DC is totally normal.

Dd just kind of did But we went to child friendly areas with a little play area etc

My DS is 29 months and eats all his meals at the table. However there is no way he'd sit there (or at any other table) for much longer than it takes to eat his food.

If hv isn't concerned I wouldn't worry. You have a lot going on so give yourself a break.

He won't sit in a high chair, honestly he goes crazy if he's restricted in a high chair
We had one at home and after about 18 months he cried and cried when put in a high chair it just wasn't worth it.

He's only 2! They all develop differently and do things at different paces.
My dd2 still sits in a high chair when we eat out. I'm sure she wouldn't sit in a chair otherwise.
In fact in a cafe yesterday she insisted in sitting in a proper chair and then ran round and round 'dancing!'.
Your ds sounds perfectly normal, stop worrying.

strawberrypenguin, honestly most people would prefer that their child sat down to eat at a table. I have had three children, two would sit happily in a high chair and one would not, whatever tempting food/games/books/colouring in you provided. I parented them all the same.

OP, I had one like that for my first, it gets much easier when you realise that all children are different. My challenging toddler, who was also quite speech delayed, is now a charming, articulate and well behaved eight year old.

You are not alone mine are not great with eating out (two and five) I look on with envy at families all sat down peacefully

DD3 has just turned two and she will always start sitting down and then normally she gets down (we sit for a long time).

But she is very placid and she hasn't got a new baby brother! Once he gets used to the baby and his speech comes on, he will calm down a little bit. Try and persevere with the seat though (bribery with toys and books...)

At 2 my ds couldn't sit still and was getting a bit big for most highchairs - he's always been massive. He's never been that interested in feeding himself and at 4 1/2 he is perfectly capable of feeding himself, but still not very interested so it can be a fight.
We used a bbooster seat till he was three and he was a lot more comfortable with that.
He also hated getting food mess on his hands and would ask multiple times during a meal time for his hands to be wiped. If I said no he got distressed. He was nearly 4 by the time that stopped.
Every mealtime is still a battle of wits and negotiation skills. I bribe and cajole and have learned I must keep my cool or he knows he has won. Harder said than done!
I'm going into terrorist negotiation after this, it'll be a doddle in comparison!!!

Mine have always been good at sitting in high chairs for meals. It's nothing special we've done, though, we're just lucky. And they're absolute berks when it comes to other stuff, so swings and roundabouts. I do take toys with us to restaurants though for them to play with, or carnage ensues.

He sounds perfect for a 2 year old but if you have concerns over his speech, would it be worth looking into that with your HV and GP? DS1 passed his newborn hearing test but by age 2 I knew there were issues with his hearing and speech. After being fobbed off for a few months by our GP I went to our local HV and she referred to a hearing test who confirmed a 40% loss of hearing, which was affecting his speech, too. He's 9 now and absolutely fine, but I reserve the right to use the cliche that sometimes Mum really does know best.

This could be written about my almost-three year old ds. Watching him generally through the day with his friends, he just has a LOT of energy. Literally doesn't stop moving unless he is asleep. He still hates colouring but will now (literally the most month) sit and do stickers or puzzles for up to 20 minutes. Hates having anything wet, sticky or dirty on him though preschool is curing him of this. Doesn't have any interest in food so using food to coax him into sitting down for a period of time is pointless. His dad is exactly the same, so I have hope that he will be alright in the end! There are always other children both better and worse than yours, not much is gained by comparing.

Mine can now undo the highchair straps and climbs up and down them like a monkey. We don't go out for food very often.

My DS (2.5) will usually sit at the table and eat his dinner if we go out to eat, but occasionally we have days like you describe. I think most toddlers have their moments and sometimes people do look at parents disapprovingly. I think that's more due to many people in Britain being intolerant of children and expecting them to always be quiet and still in public, which is not natural behaviour for many toddlers.

My 29 month old has to be in a high chair. If there isn't one available, he is fastened to the chair by his reins

Look don't compare your child to someone else's. All children are different surely as a teacher you don't need me to tell you that.
Okay her ds sat for 1.5 hours colouring in now at 2 years old. That to me is not normal. There's no way at 2 my dd would have sat there at the table with her napkin knife and fork in the right hand. Saying grace. Whilst displaying impeccable manners. She wAsnt badly behaved. Just a 2 year old.
The child who you seem to think is a Saint could be throwing the mother of a tantrums now.
In a nutshell no it is not abnormal that your dd did not sit at the table for 90 minutes. I am 39 and couldn't sit for that long.

DS1 would, DS2 no chance. The iPad is your friend!

Highchair for mine, or if one wasn't available then they were sometimes made to sit strapped into the pushchair if there was room for it beside the table.

All are different though, and some take to it more easily than others. I guess I was lucky in that whilst I did get protests, they weren't unbearable so I just ignored them.

DS definitely didn't. He was exactly like your son. And I know how you feel, but all children are different. DS just wasn't a sitting down, chatting/drawing/colouring/eye spy playing type of toddler. He sits down ok now at 5.6. although not as long and as contentedly as many other children. Long, chatty lunches with other people are still pretty much out.

DD is 18 months and sits on her stokke high chair to eat. She will try and climb out if has plastic thing that goes across the front on or reigns. She just likes to be in control.

Could you try this with DS?

My dd is nearly 4 & still won't sit still at a table! She is like her daddy, easily distracted & wants to know about everything else going on around her. She too hated a high chair so I absolutely feel your pain.

I have no advice I'm afraid, but I've stopped feeling embarrassed about it & as long as she's not annoying other people, misbehaving or getting in the way of waiters I just let her get on with it.

DD is 2 next month. She sits nicely in her own seat for 1 hour max. She is the youngest of 5 though so follows a good example. I think it must be quite unusual because we are often complimented on how well behaved our children are when we are out. No magic involved. I think we're just lucky. They just do as they are told. If they didn't we would leave, mid meal if necessary.

I think 2 is very young though and I wouldn't expect more than an hour with crayons etc as a distraction while waiting. By 3 I expect 2 hours, with the promise of ice cream!

I wouldn't be surprised if you DS was regressing upon the birth of his sibling which is entirely normal.

My youngest is just three we only eat out at macdonald's, carvery places or anywhere else where food is instant because he won't sit while we're waiting for food and for the meal. I have to make sure he's really hungry. Then we have a fighting chance of him sitting for ten mins. He's three. The older ones are fine now so I don't worry about it. We don't eat out that much all together as it really isn't fun.